Sankakkei no Kowashi-kata - Vol. 5 Ch. 17
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You.. you know feelings evolve, right? You know that someone you see as a close friend can turn into someone you love over time, not to mention that friend already confessed and continues to hold their love for you?
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I’ve just reread the story, and I have an account to comment now, but there is just so much to this story, it’s hard to get all into words.
First of all, I consider Aya to be a very admirable person. She already went through so much and had to grow up so fast even before she blipped out of existence for seven years. And that blip not only ruined her life, it disconnected her from her last remaining relationships. Yet, the moment she found her footing, she took off running to try and get her life together so she can stand as equals with Koto and Erika again.
I think a lot of readers have been underestimating her because of her literal age. The number itself doesn’t tell you nearly as much about a person as many might think. It doesn’t reflect maturity, wisdom or life experiences. Ironically, in recent chapters, Aya has been the one acting the most mature compared to Koto and Erika. I think she‘s been doing just fine on a personal level but the other two are going to make things much harder on her before they get better, especially Erika.
So let’s address that elephant, all the clues, all the hints, they point directly to Erika as the one responsible for Aya’s disappearance and reappearance. Some deniers will claim to the bitter end that there is no definitive proof, but the only reason why it hasn’t been fully revealed yet is because we are building up to that confrontation.here are just a few missing pieces that need to fall into place.
1) The Kumagaya siblings’ story. First, the brother is in eerily similar circumstances regarding his education, then the sister implies she suspects Aya‘s real age and asked her a very specific question. Learning about their story would give Aya some idea of what happened to her.
2) Erika‘s hidden feelings. In a previous chapter, Aya mentions she likes Erika for her bluntness and because she has “no hidden side”. Unfortunately, that’s far from true, Erika keeps a lot of her deepest emotions bottled up and hidden away. First her unrequited crush on Koto, then her growing resentment and jealousy towards Aya. There are a different ways they could be revealed and I think it will be soon.
3) Aya’s repressed memories. Erika was the last person to see Aya before she was spirited away and it doesn’t seem like the kind of conversation she told anyone about and it seems she prefers that Aya not remember. If it was as bad as I think it is, I can understand why Aya‘s mind might suppress. Like I said, she was comfortable around Erika because she believed she had no hidden side, but then as she allowed herself to get closer to one friend, the other turned on her. It must have been quite the shock and a betrayal of trust. And since these were evidently Aya‘s last moments, it will probably be the final piece.
First of all, I consider Aya to be a very admirable person. She already went through so much and had to grow up so fast even before she blipped out of existence for seven years. And that blip not only ruined her life, it disconnected her from her last remaining relationships. Yet, the moment she found her footing, she took off running to try and get her life together so she can stand as equals with Koto and Erika again.
I think a lot of readers have been underestimating her because of her literal age. The number itself doesn’t tell you nearly as much about a person as many might think. It doesn’t reflect maturity, wisdom or life experiences. Ironically, in recent chapters, Aya has been the one acting the most mature compared to Koto and Erika. I think she‘s been doing just fine on a personal level but the other two are going to make things much harder on her before they get better, especially Erika.
So let’s address that elephant, all the clues, all the hints, they point directly to Erika as the one responsible for Aya’s disappearance and reappearance. Some deniers will claim to the bitter end that there is no definitive proof, but the only reason why it hasn’t been fully revealed yet is because we are building up to that confrontation.here are just a few missing pieces that need to fall into place.
1) The Kumagaya siblings’ story. First, the brother is in eerily similar circumstances regarding his education, then the sister implies she suspects Aya‘s real age and asked her a very specific question. Learning about their story would give Aya some idea of what happened to her.
2) Erika‘s hidden feelings. In a previous chapter, Aya mentions she likes Erika for her bluntness and because she has “no hidden side”. Unfortunately, that’s far from true, Erika keeps a lot of her deepest emotions bottled up and hidden away. First her unrequited crush on Koto, then her growing resentment and jealousy towards Aya. There are a different ways they could be revealed and I think it will be soon.
3) Aya’s repressed memories. Erika was the last person to see Aya before she was spirited away and it doesn’t seem like the kind of conversation she told anyone about and it seems she prefers that Aya not remember. If it was as bad as I think it is, I can understand why Aya‘s mind might suppress. Like I said, she was comfortable around Erika because she believed she had no hidden side, but then as she allowed herself to get closer to one friend, the other turned on her. It must have been quite the shock and a betrayal of trust. And since these were evidently Aya‘s last moments, it will probably be the final piece.
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Yeah. It’s Erika who essentially “murdered” middle schooler Koto — the cutest girl who wears her heart on her sleeve. That’s why all Erika's heartbreaking moment feels like justice. I don’t understand why the author had to cast such a negative light on her. The other two are just victims of Erika’s selfish wish, and it ends up ruining what could’ve been a beautiful love triangle story.
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”Beautiful” is not a word typically associated with love triangle stories. They’re typically messy, full to the brim with drama, and almost always leave a sizeable portion of any audience/reader base unsatisfied at the end. This love triangle story is messier and more dramatic than most, and that’s a huge part of its appeal. And Erika is an integral part of what makes this story work.
She‘s a wonderfully written character. On the surface, she appears to be the most rational, mature, put-together character of the trio. Yet, on an emotional level, she is perhaps the most childish, as ironic as that sounds. She does not know how to properly handle or express her emotions, so they mostly stay bottled up. Hidden where no one can see them, they just build up over time, but they do still affect her judgment and actions. Most of what she has done for Aya may seem helpful, even compassionate at times, but often there is a hidden ulterior motive that sometimes takes me a while to deduce.
A recent example, she helped Aya get a role in her acting troupe, a seemingly selfless act to help her get back into acting and provide her more opportunities. Except this chapter makes it clear, Erika is using this play as another chance to compete with Aya on the stage. Her jealousy toward Aya wasn’t just about Koto, it was about acting as well. She couldn‘t get over the feeling that these past few years she was acting as Aya’s stand-in, so she feels the need to prove she’s the better actor while sharing the stage with her. Although, based on the warning she got from her colleague, it seems like her performance is actually suffering recently so it might actually backfire on her.
Putting that aside, while I do think Erika is emotionally immature and not nearly as rational as she appears, I do not think she is the superstitious type. I think she used those tanabata wishes as an outlet for all the feelings she doesn’t know how to deal with. I’m sure she 100% meant those wishes from the bottom of her heart, but on a rational level, I don’t think she thought for even a second that wishes like that would ever come true. When Aya did disappear, sure, it‘s a bad look and best not to mention it, but it was just a coincidence. Then Aya came back, not looking a day older than the last time Erika saw her seven years ago. When you see the impossible right before your eyes, that doubtlessly would make you question everything you thought you knew. I imagine the whole thing is still difficult for her to process, and she has other priorities on her mind, too, but I’m willing to bet the thought has been gnawing at her conscience this entire time, I did this.
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Call me out if this seems like a misread but thus far up until this chapter we've only been allowed to see the bad of Koto while it's seems we've been given much more "fair/generous" for lack of a better looks into Aya and Erika in seeing their ups and downs. I get that ultimately she is the most problematic person in the series but on some level it feels like her development is back loaded compared to the other two.
It also kind of feels this way to me since a lot of yuri/girls love manga tend to rarely last more than like 2 dozen chapters. We're at what is commonly the back end of a story and only now is she being written outside of the scope of her being in a problematic and clingy mental state
It also kind of feels this way to me since a lot of yuri/girls love manga tend to rarely last more than like 2 dozen chapters. We're at what is commonly the back end of a story and only now is she being written outside of the scope of her being in a problematic and clingy mental state
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It’s been a minute since my reread so I’m going off memory but I do believe you have a point worth discussing. I do think Koto has some good moments but they’re smaller slice of life moments like in the bonus chapters. Other than that, there haven’t been many opportunities where she showed her good sides, to the point I get why people question what the other two see in her.
i can’t bring myself to dislike her though, for the simple reason that I know I could easily become her if put in the exact same situation. Something I learned while playing Life is Strange, I’m not above making objectively immoral choices for someone special to me. For better or (probably) worse, she’s the character I relate to most so I probably cut her more slack than I should.
Unfortunately, I don’t see much improvement for Koto as things stand.
To have finally taken the next step to deepen her bond with Aya, then for her to suddenly just vanish, without any explanation, I can see why it ruined her. Without any closure, it was impossible for her to truly move, no matter how hard she tried. It’s like she gave a piece of her heart to Aya, only for both to vanish, leaving this hole that can never be filled.
Then Aya came back, but there was no explanation for why or how she disappeared, and more importantly, whether she’ll disappear again. That’s half the reason Koto wanted to keep Aya locked up in her apartment, if she doesn’t leave, she hopefully can’t disappear again. Without answers, it‘ll be difficult, if not impossible to settle Koto’s anxieties about whether Aya will disappear again.
Then there’s the anxieties regarding change. Koto tried to move on but couldn’t, and part of her still feels stuck as that same girl she was back in middle school, still in love with the Aya she knew back then. Meanwhile, present day Aya is trying to change at a fast pace, so Koto has anxieties about Aya leaving her behind or changing in a way that makes her unrecognisable from the girl she loved. On the flip side, Koto doesn’t want Aya to see the ways she‘s changed, especially the part where she tried to move on. If you think about it, from Aya’s perspective, it seemed like they’ve been in a relationship the entire time, so Koto fears it may be seen as being unfaithful.
That side of things is something they are starting to work on. Aya has acknowledged the problem and created distance between them precisely so they can get to know each other again. The ball is in Koto’s court on this one. Hopefully her other friends, who are not named Erika, can give her the push she needs to both open up about her past and face present day Aya.
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Well, this sucks. It's been a year. I hope he or she is all right.
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Still waiting
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It's been 2 years since this manga went on hiatus, and I'm honestly crying for a continuation.
So I'm leaving this here for my future self, in case I reread this someday and the story is still on hiatus.
To my future self, this was today's me, thinking what's my ideal ending:
This is Aya PoV.
Erika found me outside the theater.
"You're doing well," she said. "The acting thing. It really suits you."
I turned to look at her.
"You know, there was a time I wished you'd disappear," she said. "So things could just go back to being simple." She paused, like the next part was harder to say. "Because I like Koto. I've liked her for a long time. And with you around, I never stood a chance."
I was shocked when I heard this. I always thought we were good friends. It hurt more than I expected. But I just nodded. I'd always kind of known she felt this way, and maybe that's even part of the reason I got spirited away in the first place. Erika was never good at hiding stuff, that's what I always thought back in middle school, but I was wrong I never knew the real her.
Knowing it now didn't make me want to walk away from her. If anything, it just made her feel more real to me. Like someone who'd been quietly hurting the whole time, stuck in a spot she never asked to be in.
"You're not a bad person for wanting that," I told her. "You were hurting. That doesn't make you awful. It just means you wanted something you couldn't have."
She didn't say anything for a bit. She didn't have to. I just wanted her to know that even now, knowing everything, I still wanted her as my friend. I always had.
Koto and I found our way back to each other after everything that happened. We'd broken up once, in all the mess after I came back, but we chose to slowly build something new instead. Our relationship changed. It had to.
It took a lot for her to tell me about the seven years I missed. What she went through while I was gone. She grew up and moved on with her life without me, while I was stuck somewhere else, not aging at all.
I listened to all of it. And I realized I didn't need her to be exactly the same as before. I just needed her to be honest with me. She was, finally. And I loved this new Koto the same way I loved the old one. Maybe even more, because this one had worked so hard to still be here with me. Even after all these years, she was still in love with me. And I knew, without a doubt, that she was the one.
Almost a year passed. I passed my exams. I was finally settling into this new life.
But there was still one thing I needed to do. I told Koto I wanted to go home, back to our province, to visit my grandparents' graves.
We walked through the same rice field I remembered from years ago, side by side, not saying much. Then I heard it. A small bell, far away.
Koto looked at me right away, down at my feet, before I even understood what was happening. They were fading.
She grabbed my hand, but her fingers just went right through where mine used to be. She started crying, holding onto nothing, begging me not to leave her again.
I was barely holding it together too. "I love you," I said, because it was the only thing that mattered right then. "I love you so much."
"I love you too. I love you, I love you—," she said, and we kissed even as I disappeared right out of her arms.
Before I was completely gone, I told her we'd see each other again. I promised her that.
Then I woke up.
The air smelled like grilled food and okonomiyaki, and somewhere a drum was beating like my own heartbeat. I understood right away, the way you just know things in a dream — I was back. Seven years back. It was the night of the Tabata festival.
Erika stood in front of me.
"Do you actually like Koto?" she asked. "Just tell me the truth."
"I'm in love with her," I said firmly. "We're dating."
She flinched, but I didn't look away and I didn't try to make it softer. I told her I knew how she felt, that I wasn't going to pretend I didn't, and that none of it changed how much I wanted her around. She was allowed to feel jealous and unsure of herself. That didn't make me want her gone.
She looked at me for a long moment, her eyes kind of watery, before she looked away first. "Fine," she mumbled. "Just don't make me regret this."
I hugged her before she could take it back.
I found Koto by the shrine gate streetlight, playing with the sleeve of her yukata. I ran up and hugged her as tight as I could.
She jumped, flustered, asking if something was wrong. I didn't answer right away. I just pulled back enough to really look at her face. Knowing how her feelings never faded, not once in seven years, made me so happy. She really was the one for me.
"I love you," I said.
Her face turned red. Before she could say anything back, I kissed her.
This time, I thought, we get to start over from here.
So I'm leaving this here for my future self, in case I reread this someday and the story is still on hiatus.
To my future self, this was today's me, thinking what's my ideal ending:
This is Aya PoV.
Erika found me outside the theater.
"You're doing well," she said. "The acting thing. It really suits you."
I turned to look at her.
"You know, there was a time I wished you'd disappear," she said. "So things could just go back to being simple." She paused, like the next part was harder to say. "Because I like Koto. I've liked her for a long time. And with you around, I never stood a chance."
I was shocked when I heard this. I always thought we were good friends. It hurt more than I expected. But I just nodded. I'd always kind of known she felt this way, and maybe that's even part of the reason I got spirited away in the first place. Erika was never good at hiding stuff, that's what I always thought back in middle school, but I was wrong I never knew the real her.
Knowing it now didn't make me want to walk away from her. If anything, it just made her feel more real to me. Like someone who'd been quietly hurting the whole time, stuck in a spot she never asked to be in.
"You're not a bad person for wanting that," I told her. "You were hurting. That doesn't make you awful. It just means you wanted something you couldn't have."
She didn't say anything for a bit. She didn't have to. I just wanted her to know that even now, knowing everything, I still wanted her as my friend. I always had.
Koto and I found our way back to each other after everything that happened. We'd broken up once, in all the mess after I came back, but we chose to slowly build something new instead. Our relationship changed. It had to.
It took a lot for her to tell me about the seven years I missed. What she went through while I was gone. She grew up and moved on with her life without me, while I was stuck somewhere else, not aging at all.
I listened to all of it. And I realized I didn't need her to be exactly the same as before. I just needed her to be honest with me. She was, finally. And I loved this new Koto the same way I loved the old one. Maybe even more, because this one had worked so hard to still be here with me. Even after all these years, she was still in love with me. And I knew, without a doubt, that she was the one.
Almost a year passed. I passed my exams. I was finally settling into this new life.
But there was still one thing I needed to do. I told Koto I wanted to go home, back to our province, to visit my grandparents' graves.
We walked through the same rice field I remembered from years ago, side by side, not saying much. Then I heard it. A small bell, far away.
Koto looked at me right away, down at my feet, before I even understood what was happening. They were fading.
She grabbed my hand, but her fingers just went right through where mine used to be. She started crying, holding onto nothing, begging me not to leave her again.
I was barely holding it together too. "I love you," I said, because it was the only thing that mattered right then. "I love you so much."
"I love you too. I love you, I love you—," she said, and we kissed even as I disappeared right out of her arms.
Before I was completely gone, I told her we'd see each other again. I promised her that.
Then I woke up.
The air smelled like grilled food and okonomiyaki, and somewhere a drum was beating like my own heartbeat. I understood right away, the way you just know things in a dream — I was back. Seven years back. It was the night of the Tabata festival.
Erika stood in front of me.
"Do you actually like Koto?" she asked. "Just tell me the truth."
"I'm in love with her," I said firmly. "We're dating."
She flinched, but I didn't look away and I didn't try to make it softer. I told her I knew how she felt, that I wasn't going to pretend I didn't, and that none of it changed how much I wanted her around. She was allowed to feel jealous and unsure of herself. That didn't make me want her gone.
She looked at me for a long moment, her eyes kind of watery, before she looked away first. "Fine," she mumbled. "Just don't make me regret this."
I hugged her before she could take it back.
I found Koto by the shrine gate streetlight, playing with the sleeve of her yukata. I ran up and hugged her as tight as I could.
She jumped, flustered, asking if something was wrong. I didn't answer right away. I just pulled back enough to really look at her face. Knowing how her feelings never faded, not once in seven years, made me so happy. She really was the one for me.
"I love you," I said.
Her face turned red. Before she could say anything back, I kissed her.
This time, I thought, we get to start over from here.
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Yes, it's a double-edged sword. The manga is pretty good, but it's on indefinite hiatus, and the story doesn't seem close to concludingWas going to start reading this manga but seeing the hiatus status and the state of the story based on the comments here I don't think I would be having fun reading this manga now
