It's been 2 years since this manga went on hiatus, and I'm honestly crying for a continuation.
So I'm leaving this here for my future self, in case I reread this someday and the story is still on hiatus.
To my future self, this was today's me, thinking what's my ideal ending:
This is Aya PoV.
Erika found me outside the theater.
"You're doing well," she said. "The acting thing. It really suits you."
I turned to look at her.
"You know, there was a time I wished you'd disappear," she said. "So things could just go back to being simple." She paused, like the next part was harder to say. "Because I like Koto. I've liked her for a long time. And with you around, I never stood a chance."
I was shocked when I heard this. I always thought we were good friends. It hurt more than I expected. But I just nodded. I'd always kind of known she felt this way, and maybe that's even part of the reason I got spirited away in the first place. Erika was never good at hiding stuff, that's what I always thought back in middle school, but I was wrong I never knew the real her.
Knowing it now didn't make me want to walk away from her. If anything, it just made her feel more real to me. Like someone who'd been quietly hurting the whole time, stuck in a spot she never asked to be in.
"You're not a bad person for wanting that," I told her. "You were hurting. That doesn't make you awful. It just means you wanted something you couldn't have."
She didn't say anything for a bit. She didn't have to. I just wanted her to know that even now, knowing everything, I still wanted her as my friend. I always had.
Koto and I found our way back to each other after everything that happened. We'd broken up once, in all the mess after I came back, but we chose to slowly build something new instead. Our relationship changed. It had to.
It took a lot for her to tell me about the seven years I missed. What she went through while I was gone. She grew up and moved on with her life without me, while I was stuck somewhere else, not aging at all.
I listened to all of it. And I realized I didn't need her to be exactly the same as before. I just needed her to be honest with me. She was, finally. And I loved this new Koto the same way I loved the old one. Maybe even more, because this one had worked so hard to still be here with me. Even after all these years, she was still in love with me. And I knew, without a doubt, that she was the one.
Almost a year passed. I passed my exams. I was finally settling into this new life.
But there was still one thing I needed to do. I told Koto I wanted to go home, back to our province, to visit my grandparents' graves.
We walked through the same rice field I remembered from years ago, side by side, not saying much. Then I heard it. A small bell, far away.
Koto looked at me right away, down at my feet, before I even understood what was happening. They were fading.
She grabbed my hand, but her fingers just went right through where mine used to be. She started crying, holding onto nothing, begging me not to leave her again.
I was barely holding it together too. "I love you," I said, because it was the only thing that mattered right then. "I love you so much."
"I love you too. I love you, I love you—," she said, and we kissed even as I disappeared right out of her arms.
Before I was completely gone, I told her we'd see each other again. I promised her that.
Then I woke up.
The air smelled like grilled food and okonomiyaki, and somewhere a drum was beating like my own heartbeat. I understood right away, the way you just know things in a dream — I was back. Seven years back. It was the night of the Tabata festival.
Erika stood in front of me.
"Do you actually like Koto?" she asked. "Just tell me the truth."
"I'm in love with her," I said firmly. "We're dating."
She flinched, but I didn't look away and I didn't try to make it softer. I told her I knew how she felt, that I wasn't going to pretend I didn't, and that none of it changed how much I wanted her around. She was allowed to feel jealous and unsure of herself. That didn't make me want her gone.
She looked at me for a long moment, her eyes kind of watery, before she looked away first. "Fine," she mumbled. "Just don't make me regret this."
I hugged her before she could take it back.
I found Koto by the shrine gate streetlight, playing with the sleeve of her yukata. I ran up and hugged her as tight as I could.
She jumped, flustered, asking if something was wrong. I didn't answer right away. I just pulled back enough to really look at her face. Knowing how her feelings never faded, not once in seven years, made me so happy. She really was the one for me.
"I love you," I said.
Her face turned red. Before she could say anything back, I kissed her.
This time, I thought, we get to start over from here.