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@DewiAdriyanti
Any progress on reducing your smoking habits?
Any progress on reducing your smoking habits?
Tell us, what's bothering you ?
- Thread starter pandascepter
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@justforthelulz Welp i havent been writing a thing for 3 past weeks now, so its been 3 weeks i am not touching a single cigg.
If i feel my mouth want to smoke i tried to fool it with a lolipop. So i guess its been an okay situation.
edit : still its bothering me so much, i couldnt write a thing if i dont smoke.
If i feel my mouth want to smoke i tried to fool it with a lolipop. So i guess its been an okay situation.
edit : still its bothering me so much, i couldnt write a thing if i dont smoke.
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prof's been pressuring me for progress and i can't even write anything for my proposal. i don't know why, i just... don't know anything. not that i don't understand what i need to write on my proposal, i really just don't know. i'm confused. then everything bad keep happening after that: i somehow managed to "not knowing" something i supposed to know, i sometime confuse myself, and sometimes i even messed up counting to four.
now that i've reread what i write here, it seems that i have brain problem. now i'm confused and scared
now that i've reread what i write here, it seems that i have brain problem. now i'm confused and scared
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@hazzack calm down and take a deep breath, look around and find it with different perspective, "maybe" it will work, i am doing it all the time when smoking didnt do anything.
Its true when writing something important we tend to stuck in that phase, all you need is now not to worry so much and focus for your proposal or maybe you need to talk with your senior to help you out. Hey, its not something bad to ask some help to some people, you know.
Note : just dont over do.
Its true when writing something important we tend to stuck in that phase, all you need is now not to worry so much and focus for your proposal or maybe you need to talk with your senior to help you out. Hey, its not something bad to ask some help to some people, you know.
Note : just dont over do.
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@hazzack Writing is difficult for most people and you need to have somewhat of a spark to get started. Personally, I can't write anything decent unless I have at least a few minutes to think, or it'll just end up being a rush job. What exactly is it that you are writing about? What subject? Requirements? Isn't school supposed to be out by now? Stress can really do nasty things to a person's ability to reason or think logically. Have you always had troubles writing and memorizing things, or is it only recently?
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thank you for your concern
@DewiAdriyanti i do hope this is really just a phase. while i can't get any help from seniors (there's no senior, i am the senior), i'll try get help from my colleagues. and i can't overdo anything if nothing is ever done.
@Mr_Detective maybe i'm just really bad at writing, i can't even do rush job. but maybe it's just stress as you said it. if recently means since several years ago, then probably.
also school is never out, and never will.
@DewiAdriyanti i do hope this is really just a phase. while i can't get any help from seniors (there's no senior, i am the senior), i'll try get help from my colleagues. and i can't overdo anything if nothing is ever done.
@Mr_Detective maybe i'm just really bad at writing, i can't even do rush job. but maybe it's just stress as you said it. if recently means since several years ago, then probably.
also school is never out, and never will.
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@hazzack Dont overdo what i meant to be was, just dont be a clumsy bakayaro at doing something that overly make you stress (Dont worry about it) because if you worried to much about it, all you had was not a finished proposal, rather youll get something that make you stress much even more.
Dont overthinking about little thing, just do what you want to do. Also being senior is hard, i know what you feel bro.
Dont overthinking about little thing, just do what you want to do. Also being senior is hard, i know what you feel bro.
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@hazzack first, i think you should see a doctor. It could be a stress thing with anxiety thing or something else like a vitamin deficiency... and even letting out your fears with a professional that can advise you properly, could lift a burden from your shoulder. As a rule of thumb, if something is affecting your daily life in a negative way for quite some time, you should see a doctor.
Maybe you are thinking too much, maybe you lost your confidence, if that's the case, you need to read/watch something you did and you're really proud of. Something that shows how good and amazing you are. Something that reminds you that you can do it. You need to do something like the opposite of when you are depressed and think about everything you did wrong and how bad you are.
You need to simplify things. You know... "divide et impera " type of things.
You don't know how to begin? You don't know what to write? just write everything you know when it comes to mind and then you just need to sort and tweak it. Watch or read something related to it of part of it, maybe it could lit a spark.
You don't need to ask for help for the whole thing, even talking to someone about the problem you're having in a specific area it's ok, because when you try to explain something, while trying to simplify it for the listener to understand, you are simplifying it for yourself as well.
When you are confused and you can't even count, first of all, you need to sleep. You need to do something outside like buying groceries, sports... idk, even cooking, do simple things that you are good at or you enjoy that are not pc realated or even in the same room... you know, changing the background of your surroundings helps sometimes.
You need to do something with your body and not with your mind or maybe i should say something where your mind is used less and well distracted
.
It's not a fix obviously, I'm just telling you how you could mitigate things from my point of view.
If you cant take a break, use a reference (book or otherwise), if you can't count, use your hands (if you are alone, who cares?). If you cant think properly, open a txt file and write your thoughts as they come, read them, modify them, fix it. Don't think it's garbage, correct it, change it until it's good. You just need to improve it until you're good with it or until it fits a standard. Even Steel is done from shit. Don't focus on your mistakes like "i cant even do 2+2", instead go with "oops, that was 4, next?". Who cares, no one is judging you, you are alone doing your work, so when you are in that situation, use tools like calculators and reference books and just go ahead. When you'll be in a better mood you can always go back and fix it, add new things...
Maybe you are thinking too much, maybe you lost your confidence, if that's the case, you need to read/watch something you did and you're really proud of. Something that shows how good and amazing you are. Something that reminds you that you can do it. You need to do something like the opposite of when you are depressed and think about everything you did wrong and how bad you are.
You need to simplify things. You know... "divide et impera " type of things.
You don't know how to begin? You don't know what to write? just write everything you know when it comes to mind and then you just need to sort and tweak it. Watch or read something related to it of part of it, maybe it could lit a spark.
You don't need to ask for help for the whole thing, even talking to someone about the problem you're having in a specific area it's ok, because when you try to explain something, while trying to simplify it for the listener to understand, you are simplifying it for yourself as well.
When you are confused and you can't even count, first of all, you need to sleep. You need to do something outside like buying groceries, sports... idk, even cooking, do simple things that you are good at or you enjoy that are not pc realated or even in the same room... you know, changing the background of your surroundings helps sometimes.
You need to do something with your body and not with your mind or maybe i should say something where your mind is used less and well distracted
masturbation works too but it could lead you to hell😱
It's not a fix obviously, I'm just telling you how you could mitigate things from my point of view.
If you cant take a break, use a reference (book or otherwise), if you can't count, use your hands (if you are alone, who cares?). If you cant think properly, open a txt file and write your thoughts as they come, read them, modify them, fix it. Don't think it's garbage, correct it, change it until it's good. You just need to improve it until you're good with it or until it fits a standard. Even Steel is done from shit. Don't focus on your mistakes like "i cant even do 2+2", instead go with "oops, that was 4, next?". Who cares, no one is judging you, you are alone doing your work, so when you are in that situation, use tools like calculators and reference books and just go ahead. When you'll be in a better mood you can always go back and fix it, add new things...
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@DewiAdriyanti @imcrazy sorry my confusion got me and i really don't know what to reply. then i bring this to my sleep, it helps, thank you.
but then i can't but help to worry that my works will never finished. distraction never helps because of the guilt, this makes me unable to enjoy music and cooking. i also have been trying to part my works, but i can't make myself start any part of it.
plus my childhood is the kind of "bad at everything" person so i got nothing to in my past that might help.
i guess my next move is to get some appointment with a doctor.
i used to make fool of people who don't see doctor when it's already bad, i guess i'm one of them now.
but then i can't but help to worry that my works will never finished. distraction never helps because of the guilt, this makes me unable to enjoy music and cooking. i also have been trying to part my works, but i can't make myself start any part of it.
plus my childhood is the kind of "bad at everything" person so i got nothing to in my past that might help.
i guess my next move is to get some appointment with a doctor.
i used to make fool of people who don't see doctor when it's already bad, i guess i'm one of them now.
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@hazzack everything you do it's not distracting if you are not immersed into it. I'm not really listening to music if i'm not enjoying it.
You are using half of your brain, half is listening to music and the other half is remembering hurtful stuff. Like when you read and you're thinking other stuff, but still reading. then you reach the end of the page and because you have to turn it, you stop thinking and focus on your reading again only to find out that you don't really know what you have been reading til now.
I always think of it as a meme, with my brain saying "really? REALLY? WTH... do i have to do it again? fuck it.. im outta here."
To distract yourself, you don't have to do things mechanically, that's just doing something in the background. You have to do active stuff. That's why i said cooking, but maybe in your case i should have said cooking new stuff, like follow a recipe or a tutorial. Something that always makes you think of what you have to do next. Even helping others works, you know, you do things together, they talk, you need to respond., they share their problems, you release that you are not the only one fucked up, that is normal... and then you can even think "pff, are those really problems? i've been in this shit my entire life..." and if you think about it you are pretty amazing just to cope with that shit. To be where you are now. Still kicking, trying to improve, you have a plan and things are going to get better.
You need to release that most of the hurtful stuff you're thinking are born from the chemistry of your brain and amplified by it, they are not really that bad as you perceive them.
You know how fear is helpful because it stops you to do stupid things, right? well you need to think of guilt in the same way. It stops you from repeating mistakes. If you let your fears overwhelm you they will drag you down and you will do nothing. The same goes for guilt.
I'm glad you're seeking professional help, i'm sure things will work out somehow, good luck.
You are using half of your brain, half is listening to music and the other half is remembering hurtful stuff. Like when you read and you're thinking other stuff, but still reading. then you reach the end of the page and because you have to turn it, you stop thinking and focus on your reading again only to find out that you don't really know what you have been reading til now.
I always think of it as a meme, with my brain saying "really? REALLY? WTH... do i have to do it again? fuck it.. im outta here."
To distract yourself, you don't have to do things mechanically, that's just doing something in the background. You have to do active stuff. That's why i said cooking, but maybe in your case i should have said cooking new stuff, like follow a recipe or a tutorial. Something that always makes you think of what you have to do next. Even helping others works, you know, you do things together, they talk, you need to respond., they share their problems, you release that you are not the only one fucked up, that is normal... and then you can even think "pff, are those really problems? i've been in this shit my entire life..." and if you think about it you are pretty amazing just to cope with that shit. To be where you are now. Still kicking, trying to improve, you have a plan and things are going to get better.
You need to release that most of the hurtful stuff you're thinking are born from the chemistry of your brain and amplified by it, they are not really that bad as you perceive them.
You know how fear is helpful because it stops you to do stupid things, right? well you need to think of guilt in the same way. It stops you from repeating mistakes. If you let your fears overwhelm you they will drag you down and you will do nothing. The same goes for guilt.
I'm glad you're seeking professional help, i'm sure things will work out somehow, good luck.
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If I’m allowed to talk about what’s bothering me even though it’s not as serious as smoking and what not:
For context, I come from a family of geniuses (NASA Engineers, world changing patents, etc) and due to the fact I was just mimicking those around me, I was labeled as smart as well, but as time has gone on, it’s become apparent just how incompetent I am. However, I still have those expectations from those I’ve interacted with, compounded by the fact I was always the “optimistic” one means that I have so many expectations from not only others but myself too.
That’s all fine and good, but what really bothers me is that in trying to meet said expectations I have built up a persona, and I don’t know where it ends and where I start, it feels more like I’m playing some character, not only in front of other people, but on my own, and to myself. Less of trying to convince others, but trying to convince myself, and in trying to convince myself, I’ve created countless anonymous accounts on the internet just to put some form of signature or identity of my own to mark somewhere, just to go and throw it all away and start again. I’ve been doing this my whole life so it’s not like I have some me to fall back onto.
This feels like the first time I’ve ever been able to put these thoughts into words.
For context, I come from a family of geniuses (NASA Engineers, world changing patents, etc) and due to the fact I was just mimicking those around me, I was labeled as smart as well, but as time has gone on, it’s become apparent just how incompetent I am. However, I still have those expectations from those I’ve interacted with, compounded by the fact I was always the “optimistic” one means that I have so many expectations from not only others but myself too.
That’s all fine and good, but what really bothers me is that in trying to meet said expectations I have built up a persona, and I don’t know where it ends and where I start, it feels more like I’m playing some character, not only in front of other people, but on my own, and to myself. Less of trying to convince others, but trying to convince myself, and in trying to convince myself, I’ve created countless anonymous accounts on the internet just to put some form of signature or identity of my own to mark somewhere, just to go and throw it all away and start again. I’ve been doing this my whole life so it’s not like I have some me to fall back onto.
This feels like the first time I’ve ever been able to put these thoughts into words.
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@RoadMovieToBerlin
Sounds like you're afflicted with Impostor Syndrome, which is rather (and unfortunately) common. (I have lived many years with these sorts of similar thoughts.)
Of course, that's not to say you are actually a bona fide genius or exceedingly competent, just that you're (probably in all likelihood) nowhere near as inept as you see yourself.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome
Sounds like you're afflicted with Impostor Syndrome, which is rather (and unfortunately) common. (I have lived many years with these sorts of similar thoughts.)
Of course, that's not to say you are actually a bona fide genius or exceedingly competent, just that you're (probably in all likelihood) nowhere near as inept as you see yourself.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome
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@RoadMovieToBerlin That's.......... i feel bad for someone who have an expections from many people, its okay for not reach the expectation.
The more youre trying to reach the goal the more you realize that's not you, its other people expectation. I hope you doing okay there, just be yourself and do what you want, if you are too dependet with other's people expectation it will only make you more doubting yourself that eventually lead to depression.
Its a common thing to happend to someone, i do have this kind of experience. If you asking, what if people will judge me ?? because i am from a geniuses family ??? WHO CARESSS....... they just want some relationship benefit.
tl;dr
Loving something isnt a bad thing, esketit broh.
The more youre trying to reach the goal the more you realize that's not you, its other people expectation. I hope you doing okay there, just be yourself and do what you want, if you are too dependet with other's people expectation it will only make you more doubting yourself that eventually lead to depression.
Its a common thing to happend to someone, i do have this kind of experience. If you asking, what if people will judge me ?? because i am from a geniuses family ??? WHO CARESSS....... they just want some relationship benefit.
tl;dr
Loving something isnt a bad thing, esketit broh.
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@RoadMovieToBerlin
sorry but you can't compare yourself with already established people, you're looking too high. Let's make this simple, for example, if you were at school would you compare yourself with your teacher when you did a test/exam? Would you think something like "i can't make it like my teacher... I'm son dumb!"? no. Will you get there? probably yes, if you work hard.
You're incompetent in your field? or incompetent compared to them? in the first case, or it's not the right "field" for you and you need to find something that fits you better, or work harder and go forward without watching the top of the stair, but only your next step and seeking help away from your surroundings.
Seriously, wth are you talking about!? that's you! You are that guy, you talk like that, you think like that. The only thing different is that you can ask for help when you can't do something.
You wanted to appear smartER, what's wrong with that? nothing. What would you do if you weren't "in character"? would you go around telling people your shortcomings? your mistakes?
You don't have to meet expectations, you need to meet YOUR goals. Step by step. The only expectation should be that you did your best, you worked hard and you got what you wanted.
sorry but you can't compare yourself with already established people, you're looking too high. Let's make this simple, for example, if you were at school would you compare yourself with your teacher when you did a test/exam? Would you think something like "i can't make it like my teacher... I'm son dumb!"? no. Will you get there? probably yes, if you work hard.
You're incompetent in your field? or incompetent compared to them? in the first case, or it's not the right "field" for you and you need to find something that fits you better, or work harder and go forward without watching the top of the stair, but only your next step and seeking help away from your surroundings.
Seriously, wth are you talking about!? that's you! You are that guy, you talk like that, you think like that. The only thing different is that you can ask for help when you can't do something.
You wanted to appear smartER, what's wrong with that? nothing. What would you do if you weren't "in character"? would you go around telling people your shortcomings? your mistakes?
You don't have to meet expectations, you need to meet YOUR goals. Step by step. The only expectation should be that you did your best, you worked hard and you got what you wanted.
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bruh
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bruh
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This is what they call a depression is. I went through the same thing.
I can't bring myself to focus and always feel empty. It's constant and if the episode recurred I only stare at the ceiling all day. And returned to normal as if there's nothing. I don't always tell anyone because I really insist on nothing. So if I relapse, unable to participate in activities or need to take a rest, I cannot say for fear of being mistaken for excuses. *laugh nervously*
I suffered many existential crisis blows, then collapsed, rose again like a corpse. My rational mind is still left and it helps.
