ok, that first few pages are a bit rough
I'd like to suggest some changes that might make it a little clearer
p3
"I'm building a house with your father, you won't live in that house"
--> "so I'm building a house with your father, but I heard you say you don't want to live there"
"I just met your family" --> "you finally met your family"
p4
the "I'm a woman" thing is a difficult joke relating to Japanese phrase 水入らず which roughly means to spend times with family, I believe it is taken from the Japanese custom to bath together
but then she said that she is already a woman, so she's not going to do that (bath together)
but that'll be hard to translate, so the current translation is fine I think
"is it not edward san's fault, I want to believe we can live together"
--> "I think edward san will cry, you know? I think he really want to live together with you"
p5
"originally, I was determined....my family..."
--> "originally, she was determined to ... her family ..."
p18
"as a result, I ended up abandoning my country..."
--> "as a result, you ended up abandoning your country..."