The Woman Who Messes With My Emotions (2022) - Ch. 20

[Weoooo]

I mean, why would you say that to his face? Unless that reaction  was what you wanted?

Because she saw how nervous he was and wanted him to know that she won't be disappointed. Then, when she realizes how it actually affected him, she pulls back because she doesn't want to force him. Then when she leaves in the morning, she kisses him on the cheek and whispers into his ear "see you," saying to him that hey, I understand that this may have been too much but I want to see you again. Confirming through her act of affection that she's not disappointed in him.

Like she's... fucking doing everything right here, these past two chapters are frustrating beyond belief. Azuha isn't messing with anyone's emotions. She's gentle, inviting, reassuring and even pulls back when she's sure she took it too far and making sure to communicate that she still wants to see him. This, WHILE she knows that he was talking to someone else and threw that woman out of his room with a lie, clearly not confident enough to even say that the two of them were in a relationship. Nor confident enough to tell Azuha that someone else was there.

Oh God he is a cringe purity worshiping loser.

I don't think that's fair to him. It's less "oh no, she's impure," it's "oh no, I'm not going to be anything she remembers." Her words that were meant to re-assure him that she isn't going to dislike having sex with him instead made him retreat into his feelings of inadequacy, which she fucking noticed.

The frustration in this manga isn't that he's a purity obsessed weirdo. No, they wouldn't have had this thing if he was like that. The frustration is that he is deeply, traumatically insecure and he seems to refuse to take Azuha's actions as the gentle and re-assuring things they are, instead being mysterious and inscrutable. It was cute and honestly kind of interesting, because we had a both unlimited but limited perspective; only ever hearing his thoughts in times of anxiety and insecurity. He can talk to this beautiful and affectionate woman about their shared hobbies for hours, but when the prospect of her liking to be around him and wanting to spend more time with him pop up, that's when we're teleported into his horrified and disbelieving head.

But now there's some OTHER girl and its annoying. Azuha doesn't deserve this. She's been so patient and careful and clear in her non-verbal communication that this relationship being denied is deeply frustrating, especially because we've never seen any acknowledgement from him about just how much she's trying to say she likes him and wants to be around him. Cause he can't, yes, cause he doesn't believe it, but god DAMN it man what does she have to DO dude

 

[Legend13]

Thank you for the new chapter today!

 

[Litreara]

Now if only someone would translate this lol

Yeah, I doubt anyone will pick it up, given that there’s already an official English release.

 

[Junomano]

Oh God he is a cringe purity worshiping loser.

to be fair, the way she said it made it seems like she was only after his V card then she will leave after getting it

 

[Supcolors]

This chapter made me really mad at this asshole, she is doing all the heavy lifting for him and this idiot still finds ways of pushing her away. Like I get being insecure, but even if you are you should realize that if a girl is lying in bed almost naked with you, she doesn't have a problem with your virginity and even finds it cute then maybe just maybe she is interested in you and whatever history she might have and whatever she might be thinking at the moment it's completely irrelevant to the fact that she is in bed with you about to do it.

At this point the manga kind of broke my immersion by making her, even after how badly he treated her, to STILL be interested on this loser, to the point I am wondering if the "you never forget your first" is actually a hint that she knows him from before and might have had a crush on him for a long time.



I don't agree with the second part, she said that you don't forget your first time because that's exactly what happens, you really don't. She isn't responsible of him being an insecure loser and really shouldn't have to be second guessing everything she says just because this asshole might take it the wrong way.

How would a "You never forget your first time" when it clearly is about sex be about her knowing him from before? Especially if he is a virgin. And while the dude is an insecure she also doesn't word what she says right. And who says to a virgin or to anyone insecure about something "I love doing it with someone who hadn't had their first time". You don't say to a virgin woman this shit right before having sex, the dude would sound like a predator. Or a woman/man insecure about their body " I love doing it with someone who has ... or doesn't have ...''. Like who mentions their sex with other people while having sex with someone else? Maybe ONS or FWB but not a potential bf/gf.

 

[ysil69]

Oh God he is a cringe purity worshiping loser.

Eh, not really. She's the one that puts the idea in his head. He doesn't focus on it until she brings it up for whatever dumb reason.

 

[ysil69]

Those were the wrong things to say to him. But also that's just life and you shouldn't get hung up on it. Yes you don't forget your first and it's nice if the first becomes "one and only" but you can move on and your feelings can change. He shouldn't fixate on the idea that she can be that for him but he can't be that for her. That's childish.

Sure, but as a virgin he doesn't know that yet. She does, its up to her to be clear about it. Not to sound like she's after his virginity and then going to bail.

 

[Rhin]

Idk if it's so much him wanting her to be a virgin or her wording it so weirdly. I read it as: "I want you to be another notch on my belt." Plus my guy already has confidence issues, and it simply showed on his face

Yeah, I dunno if I would want my first time to be another just number on her list, the way she worded it was kinda irritating.
I don't really care about being somebody's first, but I do care about not being just another trophy for her.

 

[SaintNero]

Oh God he is a cringe purity worshiping loser.

I cant say I agree with your take. Nothing he said was with judgement towards her. It just shows common insecurities people forming their early relationships typically have based around wanting their first relationships to have a special bond. If anything I'd say she is being rather tactless or more likely manipulative by bringing up this conversation while they are about to kiss.

 

[Tivoli]

This MC is a fucking wuss.

 

[LordofLeechers]

god DAMN it man what does she have to DO dude

I get what you're saying, but you have to remember that many, if not most, guys, myself included, are absolute idiots when it comes to reading signs. If you want to know what she has to do to really get her thoughts and feelings across, it's pretty simple: say them to him and explain herself clearly. Actual communication is the bedrock of any healthy relationship.

 

[Weoooo]

Yeah, I dunno if I would want my first time to be another just number on her list, the way she worded it was kinda irritating.
I don't really care about being somebody's first, but I do care about not being just another trophy for her.

You're all making the (understandable) mistake of reading this chapter without the inherent context of everything else that's happened. It's been a while between chapters, after all. This isn't about trophies, and her wording, if you look at it from her perspective, makes a lot of sense. This is their 4th meeting, and they've been talkin' via texts for a long time. Remember, they found each other by both being fans of a slightly obscure book. The idea that she's trophy hunting is... absurd. He doesn't think that either.

No, the core here is something that consistently comes up: he doesn't think he's good enough for her. That he's ugly and has a poor sense of style and he's boring and there's no reason to like him. Now, they get along! They mesh well. They can talk to each other for hours, they have fun together, they have similar tastes and she likes to be around him and finds him interesting. Their meetings have followed a script at this point, as varied as they've been. They meet, he's overwhelmed by how hot she is, but they get to talking or doing whatever it is they're going to do and they both have fun. But then he gets self-conscious and starts to talk about how he's never had a girlfriend or that he's boring and shitty or that he's sure she doesn't like him. She then will do something to communicate that she either doesn't care or likes that part about him.

Here's the exact same thing. Here, she can tell he's anxious because he's never had sex before. So she says that no, he shouldn't worry, she likes that idea because it means they'll be emotionally connected. Something she wants. She's been saying, constantly, that she likes him and she wants to be around him and that she doesn't mind the parts of himself he hates, or that she likes those. But this time it backfires. Because instead of finding the idea comforting, all he can think of is that she remembers someone else and he'll be someone she forgets. She realizes this and backs off.

I do think all the dread he's been feeling isn't wrong this time. Because if you recall, she came to his house because the last time they met, he mentioned the younger girl. Between how distant and nervous he always is around her, and this new person, I think she may really believe that he doesn't actually like her as much as she likes him. Or at least, not in the way she does. Especially since I'm sure Ametella is gonna tell her to stay away from him, and he's constantly pushing himself away too. I believe he has fumbled.

 

[darkeden112]

I don't think that he's concerned about her being an experienced woman but he doesn't want to give his first time to someone who probably isn't sincere with her feelings/has ulterior motives other than real affection to the MC. Maybe she just wanted to give all the virgin boys an unforgettable memory because she wants at least one person to think about her for the rest of their life.

 

[FantasyMaster]

Tbh, even if I understand those who say he's a loser because "he ruined the mood", I find myself unable to read page 6 as something normal. The way she said that, even if it was to reassure him or her saying she wants to the his "first memory" or whatever else, would obviously make an insecure person think and compare himself to "previous" people.
In a normal situation, after asking if it was his first time, rather than giggling and saying that, she could have said something like "don't worry" and they'd have gone all the way.

At this point the manga kind of broke my immersion by making her, even after how badly he treated her, to STILL be interested on this loser, to the point I am wondering if the "you never forget your first" is actually a hint that she knows him from before and might have had a crush on him for a long time.

I mean...she kinda gives the yandere creepy vibes from chp 1. It's not weird that she's "still" interested in him when she somewhat feels obsessed with him...

 

[Makinya]

[snip]

Look I get where you're coming from, quite a lot since I have been in his situation before and missing out in these cases SUCKS.

She works REALLY hard, but the yellow (not red) flag here is that she specifically mentions liking virgins because of how she leaves her mark on them after they had their first experience with her. It's not even a body count thing, it's being able to word it in a way that kinda gets close to how you describe a kink. As an experienced and extremely observant woman, there are plenty of ways to reassure him other than saying it like this, and making him even more conscious (if not conscious at all) of the fact that while it's special to him, it won't be as special to her, and it takes him out of it. She's the one who made it more special, and into a bigger thing, especially since he wasn't even being defensive about being a virgin in the first place. Once he's not a virgin anymore, what do you think a virgin lover like her is gonna do in the mind of an insecure person?

 

[Weoooo]

I get what you're saying, but you have to remember that many, if not most, guys, myself included, are absolute idiots when it comes to reading signs. If you want to know what she has to do to really get her thoughts and feelings across, it's pretty simple: say them to him and explain herself clearly. Actual communication is the bedrock of any healthy relationship.

This was the fun/cute thing, though. Cause she was saying them, just not verbally. Her non-verbal communication can not be clearer. He says he's embarrassing and apologizes for being a disappointment, and she wraps herself around his arm. Touches his chest and leans in while talking about love hotels. Tugs on his new shirt's sleeve. Puts his glasses back on after she picks out an outfit and says that she likes him that way cause looks more like him. Touches his leg when he's worried about seeing her with his brother. Touches his face when she asks if he was jealous. Holds his hand in the movie theatre. Like every fucking time she makes it clear. She says things, too. When he's feeling self-conscious about his new shirt, she tells him that it's nice to see people try and improve themselves their own way, and goes and buys and outfit with him, together. Messages him and when he shows up, says that she wanted to see him too. When she can't go out on the day he asked to meet up, she calls him and tells him she wants to see him, but just can't on that day.

What was fun about that was that it seemed to be working. He seemed to be slowly coming out of his shell and realizing that... maybe she does like him. Maybe they can date. Maybe they can be in a relationship. At the very least, he doesn't want whatever it is they're doing to end. Because while he was verbally insecure, he never pulled away and kept trying to talk to her afterwards. He never seemed to be actually hurting her with his verbal rejection. It's been different since the introduction of Ametella, though.

 

[Weoooo]

Look I get where you're coming from, quite a lot since I have been in his situation before. She works REALLY hard, but the yellow (not red) flag here is that she specifically mentions liking virgins because of how she leaves her mark on them after they had their first experience with her. It's not even a body count thing, it's being able to word it in a way that kinda gets close to how you describe a kink. There are plenty of ways to reassure him other than saying it like this, and making him even more conscious (if not conscious at all) of the fact that while it's special to him, it won't be as special to her, and it takes him out of it. She's the one who made it more special, and into a bigger thing, especially since he wasn't even being defensive about being a virgin in the first place. Once he's not a virgin anymore, what do you think a virgin lover like her is gonna do in the mind of an insecure person?

No, I get why he reacted the way he did. So does she. I also understand why people think it's a spooky thing to say. But in context, it just makes sense for everyone. I know why she said it, she's trying to stress that she isn't worried about his inexperience and cares about their emotional reaction. I know why he reacted the way he did, because all of a sudden he's thinking of what her first time was and worrying about how he'll be remembered. I know why people think it's a flag, because stressing virginity can feel predatory.

I just think that in context, it's obvious that she isn't trying to hunt this dude cause he's a virgin. She likes him, but he's always pulling away and won't even tell her that he thinks they could be in a relationship, often times saying that 'they're not like that' or that she couldn't possibly see him that way. Even though she's doing basically everything she can to show him that she does.

 

[Nei]

Bunch of weirdos in this comment section but I guess that's what this manga would attract. She is emotionally manipulative and leads him in and stops interacting with him till she finds out he was hanging out with someone else, and then, and only then, she gets back into this life? And after seeing the messages from the other girl in the phone she decides to become extra aggressive? Bffr.

(You just wish it was you instead of him, and that's a bit sad.)

Some of you defending her are beyond salvation, this are 2 very problematic and toxic girls being after a dude -who is very socially inept- for very different reasons.

 

[Makinya]

No, I get why he reacted the way he did. So does she. I also understand why people think it's a spooky thing to say. But in context, it just makes sense for everyone. I know why she said it, she's trying to stress that she isn't worried about his inexperience and cares about their emotional reaction. I know why he reacted the way he did, because all of a sudden he's thinking of what her first time was and worrying about how he'll be remembered. I know why people think it's a flag, because stressing virginity can feel predatory.

I just think that in context, it's obvious that she isn't trying to hunt this dude cause he's a virgin. She likes him, but he's always pulling away and won't even tell her that he thinks they could be in a relationship, often times saying that 'they're not like that' or that she couldn't possibly see him that way. Even though she's doing basically everything she can to show him that she does.

I agree with this, she's doing all she can as a confident person to ease an insecure, inexperienced person into an intimate relationship, by boosting his self-worth, by making it clear that yes, a beautiful, confident woman like her is into him. I love the gentle, exploratory and affirming gestures like her legs being against his while they were watching the movie. But this is a manga, by a mangaka who's had a bit of history, so it's difficult to not have the nagging thought that she's leading him right into her trap. We'll have to keep riding the wave to find out.

The one thing I fault her for is that, despite all her confidence and experience, she doesn't keep communicating to acknowledge the issue, and instead cuts things off, says good night, and the next morning leaves and says 'see you' (and yes it is telling him that she wants to see him again) before he even wakes up. She navigates everything perfectly, yet at that crucial time she leaves him with a heightened sense of insecurity. That's what can also be seen as potentially emotionally manipulative if she knows what she's doing. But yeah, relationships and social interactions can be messy...
What I will say though, is that she did leave a note: we don't know what's in it, maybe that's where she explains that she didn't mean anything by it and that she'll give him time to sort himself out.
Time will tell, I hope they'll end up together.

 

[joomba]

No, I get why he reacted the way he did. So does she. I also understand why people think it's a spooky thing to say. But in context, it just makes sense for everyone. I know why she said it, she's trying to stress that she isn't worried about his inexperience and cares about their emotional reaction. I know why he reacted the way he did, because all of a sudden he's thinking of what her first time was and worrying about how he'll be remembered. I know why people think it's a flag, because stressing virginity can feel predatory.

I just think that in context, it's obvious that she isn't trying to hunt this dude cause he's a virgin. She likes him, but he's always pulling away and won't even tell her that he thinks they could be in a relationship, often times saying that 'they're not like that' or that she couldn't possibly see him that way. Even though she's doing basically everything she can to show him that she does.

The problem is that it was all heading in the direction that she did have a genuine connection and liking for him, but at the most crucial moment when they are about to cement their relationship she suddenly makes it about how she likes setting up guys like him for this moment. Now every single touch and every single moment they had is suspect. She knew what kind of power she had over him and then she somehow chose the exact words to drive doubt into his heart. It re-contextualizes the entire story up till now. We as the reader have to doubt her motives from the very beginning. She had been pretty clear that she was trying to show interest in him, but now we don't know what her motives for doing so were. And our MC doesn't either and of course he's going to a place of insecurity because he's been clear since the beginning that he's insecure! And she just lets the issue hang during the night. I can't tell if she's just clumsy or calculating, but it's looking to me that the MC is in for a world of hurt.