Welcome Back, Alice - Vol. 6 Ch. 35.5 - Afterword

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I’d normally say that he should just come out as gender-fluid or something similar, but considering Japan’s current climate I can understand that being a hard thing to do.
 
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Schizo author brought us a modern detransitioning drama with poor narrative. Then he still has the balls (or does he?) to do afterwords lmao
Edit: Man, rereading all his afterwords, i just wish for another Aku no Hana.
 
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I’d normally say that he should just come out as gender-fluid or something similar, but considering Japan’s current climate I can understand that being a hard thing to do.
I think he is more of a gender neutral non conforming kind of deal

But really, even that is giving him too much credit, remember that all this started because he feels guilt and disgust from having an addiction to masturbation, if i am blunt, i think he is just insecure about his libido, and it is not even about his sense of gender and masculinity

In order to escape his sex obsession, he fabricated a female persona, the imaginary of the ideal pure woman that avoids sex, and that failed him, plus the concept itself is problematic in itself, as if women didn't had their own problems or sexuality, and had it all figured out

Since he never really wanted to be an actual woman, and that didn't actually addressed his problems with masturbation, it was just denial, thus he goes back to his male persona, and is running with it, while still repressing and avoiding dealing with his obsession with sex

And now he ended talking about some hedonistic other side, that will be complete after death, but that he can't access and only approach with masturbation, he went from feeling disgust about it, to deifying and sanctifying the whole thing, and that's not healthy either, in fact it is keeping him away from forming good intimate relationships, because his self guilt keeps him from connecting with others
 
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In order to escape his sex obsession, he fabricated a female persona, the imaginary of the ideal pure woman that avoids sex, and that failed him, plus the concept itself is problematic in itself, as if women didn't had their own problems or sexuality, and had it all figured out
another dude who think girls are pure unicorns, always perfect and flawless, never uses make up, never shave bodyhair, smell like cottoncandy and never ever ever never have a thought about sex
 
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I think he is more of a gender neutral non conforming kind of deal

But really, even that is giving him too much credit, remember that all this started because he feels guilt and disgust from having an addiction to masturbation, if i am blunt, i think he is just insecure about his libido, and it is not even about his sense of gender and masculinity

In order to escape his sex obsession, he fabricated a female persona, the imaginary of the ideal pure woman that avoids sex, and that failed him, plus the concept itself is problematic in itself, as if women didn't had their own problems or sexuality, and had it all figured out

Since he never really wanted to be an actual woman, and that didn't actually addressed his problems with masturbation, it was just denial, thus he goes back to his male persona, and is running with it, while still repressing and avoiding dealing with his obsession with sex

And now he ended talking about some hedonistic other side, that will be complete after death, but that he can't access and only approach with masturbation, he went from feeling disgust about it, to deifying and sanctifying the whole thing, and that's not healthy either, in fact it is keeping him away from forming good intimate relationships, because his self guilt keeps him from connecting with others
I agree with you that his problem is not of gender and masculinity. But from how I see it, pinning it down to only his libido might be missing the bigger picture.It's more about his distorting self-image that he doesn't like.

He mentioned in volume 4's afterword that his self image was turning sour after his first ejaculation, and gets worse since. Puberty made him overly conscious of his own image, and his masturbating habit with all his physical changes makes him feel very uncomfortable in his own skin.

This "boat of femininity" and "The girl inside him" might just be his idol of purity, in a sense. It's his idea of what his clean self would be, and somehow femininity fits his selfish idea of clean. It's clear that turning into a girl was never his goal, but means to an end.

Also I just wanna say that even though I'm glad that he kinda found an answer for it, his answer is still revolving around denying himself and that's just fucked up and really unhealthy lmao.
 
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I agree with you that his problem is not of gender and masculinity. But from how I see it, pinning it down to only his libido might be missing the bigger picture.It's more about his distorting self-image that he doesn't like.

He mentioned in volume 4's afterword that his self image was turning sour after his first ejaculation, and gets worse since. Puberty made him overly conscious of his own image, and his masturbating habit with all his physical changes makes him feel very uncomfortable in his own skin.

This "boat of femininity" and "The girl inside him" might just be his idol of purity, in a sense. It's his idea of what his clean self would be, and somehow femininity fits his selfish idea of clean. It's clear that turning into a girl was never his goal, but means to an end.

Also I just wanna say that even though I'm glad that he kinda found an answer for it, his answer is still revolving around denying himself and that's just fucked up and really unhealthy lmao.
Right i forgot that thing he had with the birthmark on his penis that he never came to like
 
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another dude who think girls are pure unicorns, always perfect and flawless, never uses make up, never shave bodyhair, smell like cottoncandy and never ever ever never have a thought about sex
Hold on, this guy absolutely knows women shave body hair. He wrote Sweet Poolside. I don't get how you came to this conclusion unless you've never read anything by Oshimi Shuzo. Every woman he draws is hairy, stinky, and consistently forward in how much they think about sex.
 
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Poor guy, glad to see that he's found some peace.
 

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