What does "Happiness" feel like?

[Nick_Asano]

Is it just a blanket term that's used to sum up one or many feelings that we as a society view as positive? Like love? To you is it excitement? Pride? Comfort? To have offspring? Every time I finish a book or a manga that tries to answer this question I'm always left feeling emptier than when I began reading it. What if happiness is actually just a paper-thin difference away from being empty? Or depressed? Is it a concept that we should just blindly and unquestionably accept and tell ourselves that we feel until we've convinced ourselves that we feel it? In times when everyone else is feeling "Happy" like at church or at family reunions, I feel guilty for being the only one wishing they'd all disappear or get struck by a natural disaster. I want to get away from their questions, at least half of which look like traps set by the interrogator, triggered by me and meant to hurt if not myself then the one responsible for raising me or in some cases my brother. "Happiness" feels as cold and as flaky as the people pedaling it. Is it because I'm not a Christian that I find it so inaccessible? Is my skepticism getting in the way of true peace? I want to go back in time when we had neither time nor luxury to think about what it all meant.

 

[Phuocphuc46]

Idk man I just come here to read crap mangas and feel disappointed

 

[hazzack]

hush
you think too much

alright, let the great me, me, and myself tell you something helpful.
EVERYTHING IS HAPPINESS IF YOU DON'T THINK TOO MUCH ABOUT IT!

is it something positive or negative? HECK! i'd like to know, too!
why is someone happy over others' misfortune? why another person is happy when their friend win a lottery?
do you think people who finish reading Agatha Christie's ends up sad? or everyone who finishes Eragon feels completed?
let ME, the great myself, tell you what the answer is: YOU THINK TOO MUCH!

DON'T THINK TOO MUCH! YOUR SANITY IS ON YOUR LINE!
think something else, like algebra, or kalman filter.
or why can't insane person can't get their sanity back.
or cosmos and such.

living things are egoistic by nature, if you feel happy, then so be it.

just don't think too much about it.

 

[LowSanity]

@Nick_Asano
I was 'bout to type something but it will not be helpful, it would probably just make you confused.

The answer may be strange and simple but hazzack is right.

 

[zdarkbrz_816]

For me happiness is kinda of being okay with things around me? It is a good type of boringness that you suddenly realize you have...

A few days ago, with some tea and reading some random novel I kinda thought to myself "huh, things are kinda calm right now", and then I realized that "this is it, I wish things could continue like this, even if only for a little while longer"

That's happiness for me right now, not really excitement or something else... though maybe that's just me ;b

 

[421cookies]

Loli smile makes me happy

 

[Greenfrost]

Exercising your brain like this isn't bad. I do it too. However, judging by what you're thinking about, it sounds like you might have depression. And, if you haven't already, it may be a good idea to see a therapist; and possibly a psychiatrist if you'd want to try medication. Although, I could be totally wrong, just thought I'd give my two cents.

 

[TamieL]

Happiness is when u get back from work and start reading ur follows, here and on the other pages bro

 

[m520i]

I will give you a list, you can choose something that works best for you 😀 @Nick_Asano

- Happiness is about seeing your loved one have a better life. You are willing to do things for their sake unconditionally (your lover, your family, your brother, your cat, your dog...)

- Happiness is about enjoying life to the fullest. You actually do things that you want to do. (go sightseeing around the world, get a girlfriend, have baby, have your dream come true, ...)

- Happiness is about the small thing that you always want to do but did not have time for it. (eat your favorite food, have a relaxing evening, finish a workout routine, listening to your music...)

- Happiness is about doing the thing you actually like, not the thing you need to do. (too many things to list here...)

TL;DR
If you didn't feel happy about something, it is not your happiness. Don't bother when someone said that you need to do 'this' or 'that' to deserves happiness. To each their own. Your happiness is yours alone. Just do the thing you want to do.
That is my understanding of happiness. Hope this helps.

 

[Albwin]

I believe happiness is whatever you need to feel good or at least balanced in whichever moment. Whatever it is might change depending on your mood. It might even be being depressed when you have an acute need for that melancholy feeling of depression to feel good by feeling bad.

Well, I also believe happiness is when you look back on your moment of happiness and don't regret whatever it was, likely redoing the moment as such if you have the chance.

Happiness further can be but doesn't necessarily have to be manifested as an almost physical kind of feeling, like a sphere of warmth sitting right inside your stomach, even going as far as some feeling of happiness which is so strong that it makes you downright nauseous.

Ultimately, only you can know what happiness is for you in every single moment. It can be the same as happiness for others but doesn't have to be. And although it might sound naive, if you try to embrace whatever you experience and feel, even the most heartbreaking sadness, you can still find at least a glimpse of happiness in it, and if not in this very moment, then perhaps looking back. That might sound quite masochistic, and perhaps it indeed is, but in the end everything, unhappiness too, can be happiness. You only need to change your perspective.

I apologize if my rambling sounds half crazy but happiness is, after all, a feeling so diverse and complex that no words can ever do it justice. This is and can only be an approximation, nothing more.

 

[LonelyPerson]

Well I don’t know but to me I think it’s the time you spend, your enjoyment of life overall. For me that’s spending time with friends or just chatting. I don’t know why but afterwards after every little chat I have, I always find myself smiling. Maybe that’s the feeling of happiness, honestly I have no idea.

But I also think that Happiness could be the distractions from mundane life such as shows or music. I sometime spend hours listening to music just relaxing doing nothing else or watching a show getting invested in the lives of fictional people. I sometimes get sucked in and forget the world around me, it’s kinda peaceful when that happens. It could be called a type of happiness I think.

Basically just enjoy your life man, I don’t know what the hell am doing but still I can find something in my life. You seem way better put together than me so am sure you can find your own happiness in life.

Edit: Sorry if my thoughts are a little bit disjointed here

 

[Nick_Asano]

@m520i Interesting. We've been told our whole lives by our peers and mainstream media through subliminal messaging and in ways less subtle that we "cannot" and "should not" be happy if we don't have a large circle of friends, a wife, kids, a 6 figure income, a big house, an unnecessarily fast car, a belief in God, published art, a 5 star legacy, and 10/10 looks. Without realizing it we've raised our standards to ridiculous heights, not of others but of ourselves, and when we fail to meet them we become miserable. We reject happiness both because we feel as if we don't deserve it and because we're afraid that we'll begin to atrophy if we allow ourselves contact with it. When I allow myself to be content for even a minute I feel guilty. Shouldn't I be studying? Shouldn't I be working? Shouldn't I be creating art? Shouldn't I be helping people? Oh... I am? Shouldn't I be doing it better? Faster? We have 7.5 billion people to stack up to and an ego that hurts us more often than it heals us. I sometimes wonder if the mainstream idea of happiness directly contradicts most people's personal happiness...

But you guys are right. Happiness is something that only we can decide for ourselves, and even then only in the moment, as past us, present us and future us are so often at odds with one another. To tell someone that they cannot or should not be happy is like telling someone that they cannot or should not be depressed, and yet most of us don't see it that way.

 

[EOTFOFYL]

Interesting question,
and my answer is "who cares?"
Just do what you like.

 

[DANDAN_THE_DANDAN]

I don't think religion is a huge factor in happiness. Happiness is an emotion that depends on each person, if you feel content going to church then you should go to church. If you feel satisfied to trip someone you hate then you will trip that person. If you love procrastinating then you will procrastinate. If you feel good when someone thanks you for your help then you should help people.

Happiness just an emotion, not necessarily good, not necessarily bad.

I stopped bothering with trying to be happy and focus more on finishing what I like and avoiding stress because the two latter things complete the prior by proxy.

 

[Alraisen]

For me, happiness is an incomplete feeling. Dunno if it's like that for everyone, but I seem to long for a wholeness in it that it just doesn't exist, thus makes me feel disappointed. Happiness is born and then dies, and conscious as we are, it would seem we cannot experience the belief of its permanence.
What is very important for me, is that very desire for the wholeness. To act and create towards the impossible, is the closest we can get to it, maybe. It probably is the only reason we try to achieve things.
But that's all according to my narrow and uninformed point of view. What do you think?

 

[Nick_Asano]

@Alraisen Your theory is likely. In my case happiness has never stuck around for long. It's dull and it's fleeting, and is just as easily found in nothing as it is in it's cliched causes. It's never a strong or long lasting emotion, but can be a strong and long lasting desire.

 

[Garakuta]

Doing what you like to do is my way to go. Happiness is nice and all, but I see it more as a byproduct for doing things I want to do.
In the first place, if you just want to be happy, you could just take some drugs and thats the end of the problem. But just being happy without reason doesnt really sit right with me, it lacks satisfaction. Maybe I am wrong, but it feels like most people are seeking satisfaction over happiness anyways. Being happy, because someone made me happy, reading an interesting manga, playing a good game. These are all satisfying things to me and I think having activities like these is a also good step to getting happy.
Also, if you are worrying this much, maybe try getting in a mindset, that allows you to just enjoy things. When I am stressed and worry that I am wasting my time, I meditate, or really just concentrate for some moments, and tell myself, that what I am doing is right, that it is ok to just enjoy this moment. That naturally also goes to when interacting with others. Letting somebody else tell you, what “should“ make you happy doesnt make any sense.

 

[justforthelulz]

@EOTFOFYL

Nibba, did you just
write your response in haiku?
But I do agree.

 

[Teddy]

@Nick_Asano

First thing first: You Don't Matter

Now what I mean to say is that not everyone is out to get you but not everyones cares about you either.

Spoiler

Some people ask you questions not because they care but communication conventions to keep any awkward silences from forming so they want you to join in the chat groups. Others ask you questions because they actually do care:

Asians/British are particularly bad at showing they care from my experience. Asians force you to drink hot water, interrogate you about the last meal you had and force you a curfew /inform them when going out. British people just ignore any emotions or expressing concerns and tough it out but make tea and chatter alot.

Keep the disgust from rising up to your throat and chat to them a bit more; maybe you'll find they don't really care so you don't have worry about giving a lengthy reply, just dismissive enough to change the subject.
If they actually do care about you, be glad be secured that someone actually cares about you. A blessing rather than a curse.

Regarding mainstream success and happiness:

Spoiler

I know alot of young people struggle against the older values.

A big house, nice cars, 6 figure salary. They wanna push you to be wealthy so you don't have to suffer being poor or live in cramp or damp environments.

Friends, wife, Kids, A legacy, looks. They want to make sure you have company to enjoy and support. To not be looked down upon and be discriminated against.

But yes, its way more difficult nowadays to achieve those things.

House prices rates don't match the inflation rates, good cars are expensive with all their new tech, 6 figure salary lmao sure if you can get the super prestigious or little known jobs that rarely recruit.

Mainstream Media forces most people to like certain hobbies, shows or fashion making it difficult for those who don't like those particular items find it hard to have common interests with everyone else or potential partners. Similarly makeup and bodybuilding media also makes it difficult for the vast majority to be content with what they have.

But the good thing is that the worst modern buildings are much better than the olden buildings. Laws force landowners to have livable and healthy environments for their tenants. Even second-hand cars can run fine with proper service. Most jobs can still allow you to eat, sleep and be entertained moderately right now...(most, although this is increasingly not the case and the future is bleak but for now...)

Although mainstream media has specific messages, there is also non mainstream media and people still enjoy different interests, your physical acquaintances may not read manga and go on forums but you know for sure that there others out there that enjoy manga and forums, you have to make an effort to search them out in the real world, the more acquaintances you make the more likely you'll find a friend that have common interest that you will enjoy the company of.

Definition of happiness of young people today is different from the older generation. And by many accounts a more humble/crap version of the previous generation because they are ridiculous burden/difficult for people today. You don't need to worry about what the elders happiness is because it doesn't necessarily have to be your definition of happiness. Just know that they want you to avoid sadness instead and best way to avoid it, is being happy or having things that make you happy.

My personal definition might be a little bit extreme."Anything that makes me say, I don't want to die today." if it makes me look forward to the future I'm content enough and call that happiness.

Finally on family reunions and Christians:

Spoiler

If you've taken the time to read through rest I'm certain you can guess, where I want to go towards.

Family reunions are a way for your parents to enjoy the company of their family, your enjoyment is less important. Although maybe they also think that your cousins will be good friends for you. If they enjoy it, let them have it and chat with your extended family a bit more, see who cares see who doesn't.

It may also just be a facade so they don't seem anti social and be thought badly of by their family members and friends.

Now onto Christianity:

Devout Christians and nominal Christians have different happiness and values.

Nominals just want the reputation and status that goes with good old Christians. Again belief of the older generation thats trickled down. Maybe a sense of proudness of being better than others. They might go to church twice a year, tangle a few accessories and biblebash others knowing a few common verses taken out of context.

Devouts

Will sacrifice time out of their free time or make free time from their schedules to pursue Christ and fellowships, they might volunteer around to lead some growth groups, help welcome others or go around making conversations with other people they don't know well to make them feel more comfortable. They have a hope that they will have a second life thus they would like to please their saviour not because they are scared of losing their second life but from the joy they have already and want to let others to also gain that second life by being an image of their saviour. But well nothing goes to plan of course so its easy for them to make mistakes and counter productive things. Again chat bit more with them and see if they actually care or not.

But remember just because they call themselves Christians doesn't make them good hearted or neutral. Some are evil and just want power over others with malicious intent.

Happy hunting.

Tl;Dr

Other's happiness have no bearing on your happiness but keep in mind that others may have your happiness in mind so be glad if they do

P.s

Spoiler

Honestly, the above will only make chatting to others more objective so it'll be less boring and anxious to perform as you have a goal/benefit from it

 

[Thank]

Authentic happiness is more akin to life satisfaction or contentment. Happiness is often misattributed to joy, or a state of elation. I personally find this version of "happiness" to be impractical, especially when considering the hedonic treadmill (people eventually adjust to fortunate circumstances and take them for granted). The only way to move forward towards happiness - as far as I know - is to make the changes that you know to be essential for your well being. Gaining knowledge and attempting to understand the inefficient coping mechanisms that you use is a big part of the equation as well, but starting with the simple stuff is usually the way to go. Humility will go a long way in this regard.