365 Days to the Wedding - Vol. 4 Ch. 33 - Are You Really Confessing Your Love? (Part 4)

[dudelookatree]

gambare gon chan

 

[domunobu]

How come manga characters never comfort people that are crying? Who the fuck just stands there awkwardly while your homie is bawling? Is it like a Japanese thing?

 

[CKing257]

...all of these harsh words in the comments...?
The best stories are the ones that touch our hearts. They depict people we can identify with and can care about. This manga is one of those stories. It’s so easy to get caught up in the emotions and sometimes all-too-real situations we’re shown here!
Keep in mind though that it IS a story. The author is behind it all, crafting the drawings and dialogue, skillfully guiding us through the characters’ lives. We’ve only been shown Gonda’s side of this current story. We’re shown that he knows that his stunned reaction has hurt Kaori. His tears are not selfish ones for his failure to confess his feelings, they are of regret for the pain he’s caused her.
Until we see Kaori’s own feelings about what happened (and I don’t doubt that we will), hoping that any harsh judgements about the thorny issues involved can be put aside.

 

[sawamuroT]

What's with these comments, I think this is one of the best show of side character in this manga, it's just one of those lesson and experience in life for Gonda, it could build him to be a better husband once he got married.

 

[U235]

@laudy Except, your judgment of her being immature is subjective really. I would argue that he is the immature one for wanting to marry her and asking her to be his GF without knowing anything about her. This is how little children react when they see someone they admire (the "I'm going to marry my daddy when i'm older"), not how a mature adult should act. And it's even more absurd in today's culture for exactly the reason that was shown. A lot of women nowadays are single mothers, they could be already in an open relationship, they could want only casual sex or even just a hookup, they could even just come to a date for a free meal (not saying it's ok but that's the reality of things), and those are things you have to know before you even consider a relationship today. Going on a date today is not a big deal anymore. Like I said to someone else here, the dating dynamics have changed a lot and your traditional "prince on a white horse come to conquer the heart of the princess" kind of view is dead. So, by today's dating standards, it's his behavior that is out of line for asking her to be his GF in those circumstances, and she just showed him why. She didn't set him up, he set himself up by thinking he was the prince.

Why I would say she is even nice? she gave him a chance when she showed him the kid and he just couldn't handle it and froze (Difficult to have a more immature reaction than that). How could she as a single mother not think he is a joke? Imagine wanting a partner to help you raise your kid and the guy is not even able to handle a stressful situation. So she left, thinking it was already over. Him contacting her later was already to late as he showed her that he is not ready. Like I sad, one date today doesn't really mean anything and certainly doesn't tie you to anything, so why should she do anything more than just leaving. The fact that he says the kid doesn't bothers him is bullshit because he has absolutely no idea what it means to raise a kid, he just wants to be with her. Him checking his saving is also bullshit since today, you don't jump into marriage anymore like he thinks it works. He doesn't even know if he really loves her, he is just acting desperate. Maybe after 3 months with her and the kid he would have hated it, and regretted his choice.

Anyways, enjoy the read.

 

[U235]

@FredFriendly

Who says the last time I dated was last century? You think old people don't date?

You said. Are you becoming senile?

Her behavior is totally acceptable? So you're the absolute authority? Then why are there some many other people here who disagree with you?

The objective morality isn't really relevant. As times change, society's morality changes as well. A few centuries ago it was acceptable to have slaves and marry your sister. Does it make it morally right? no. But it doesn't make everyone bitches for doing that because people acted based on those days morality. You have a very traditional way of seeing relationships and it doesn't corresponds to today's standards anymore. I come from a traditional family, I understand where you come from, but at the end of the day, you either adapt to how the world works today or you're left behind living in own little world (I'm not talking about you in particular, don't get insulted).
Anyways, read the other comment i wrote for laudy about that, maybe you will understand better. Was nice debating with you, cheers.

 

[zokoi19]

@FredFriendly ok wow that's just wrong, did you inject yourself into the character or something?

@bouken Like you said, a kid is a big deal. His worry about finance showed that he cared enough about her to try and marry her. But that doesn't mean he is ready. Gon is still young as heck, a marriage with a single parent may be too much responsibilities for him right now. Sure, maybe he will be a good father, they will live as a happy family. But honestly the chances of the responsibilities crushing him and them divorcing is a lot higher. I am speaking from personal experience here, so yes I'm biased about this.

Honestly though why don't they just date? Why marriage? Dating, getting to know more about the other person and slowly integrating into their life seem much more doable than just jumping straight into marriage.

 

[shiburu]

i want this path to be explored further. both gonda and kaori's dynamic is realistic and i cant help to feel very attracted with them

 

[HakuChute]

imagine actually whipping yourself into wanting to get with a single mother and raise another man’s child lmao what a failure of judgment.

 

[waldo220]

Damn, this was real.

 

[geistchevalier]

I hope for the best for Gonda

 

[Guest6052]

@domunobu Yes. Asian thing

 

[laudy]

@U235 I'm subjective about the mother

Except, your judgment of her being immature is subjective really

Then you whatabout the other character, rationalize morals, and subjectively apply the needs of the child.

Why I would say she is even nice? she gave him a chance when she showed him the kid and he just couldn't handle it and froze (Difficult to have a more immature reaction than that). How could she as a single mother not think he is a joke? Imagine wanting a partner to help you raise your kid

You're stating the the mental process of the female character; quickchanging the male character's evaluation of the nature of the relationship with the conviction to follow through on whatever he decides. Doing this mental gymnastic means she doesn't have to admit that its an evaluation of her -its just his lack of conviction; It must be quick -dump him while making him believe that its all about his lack of conviction- in order for her to save face to herself. This is where it pretty much becomes a set up, you need to pitch the question at the same time that you reveal the child to manufacture the switch of evaluation-with-conviction. It is impossible in linear time to give someone a novel piece of information twice, so there's only one opportunity to get an evaluation. Meanwhile it takes time to search resolve, so pressing for an immediate answer while the evaluation is occuring is the only time there is a vaccum in his self awareness of his resolve where she can assert that the evaluation is his resolve! That isn't an honest interaction, its a manipulation tactic: catch the enemy off their feet, get your desired outcome, and assert the desirable face on it all. If you're lucky you won't just win, the opponent will even accept your interpretation of events as the truth, it certainly worked on this adult! Now just imagine this person turning this ability on the child in the future! Look at how Its worked on you, so well that you've taken the deception a step farther; pretending as if this is an equivalency to someone freezing up during a fire when there's someone they need to protect in danger -a matter of courage, rather than a matter of resolve -should this person become the sort of person they would jump into a fire for?

 

[YamiryuuZero]

Can't really say anyone is in the wrong here. She has her past with the guy she had her kid with, and Gonda isn't ready for what a relationship with so much baggage entails.
This is heartbreaking, but sometimes some romances just can't work.

 

[gobletoffire]

@domunobu actually let them cry first then comfort them is what I often do, just let them cry out loud and throw away all the bad things because crying is one of the best methods to make you feel relieved if you have a problem.

 

[dowiet]

Gonda is alright

 

[zool714]

Reading some of these comments on both extreme ends is wild. One saying instant dealbreaker, calling the child a "mistake". wow. Then on the other end, if you love her should just go for it. Umm no, you forgot there's a child there to consider as well. Not to mention a guy like Gonda, who seems to never even have gf before, would suddenly be a father to a child. Even if he is enthusiastic, it doesn't mean he'll be a great dad and that'll hurt the kid too. I do think they both need to have a deep conversation about it if they wish to carry on.

 

[puckluck]

That's shitty of her. If someone walls up after something so small, then its not meant to be.

---

@zool714 one saying instant deal breaker

It is for me. If I wanted to raise someone else's kid I would've went into teaching.