Dame Ningen no Aishikata - Vol. 5 Ch. 28 - The Loser and His Girlfriend Who Remembers

[LordTrollbias]

Honestly, my guess is the dad did succeed at becoming a successful novelist and a very successful one at that. So much so, that he had the money to make his dream a reality of supporting his wife and her spending more time at home instead of being away for so long. Yet she didn't want to do that. She is essentially too married to her work and as the dad pointed out earlier, having two successful people in the house caused a clash of ideals.

The mom wanted an emotionally dependent loser of a husband entirely reliant on her and once he realized that, he left. He realized that she didnt really want to be a happy family that lived together. She just wanted... control.

Yeah even the panels where he was still a "loser" you could tell her dad was getting frustrated at the situation and distance between him and the mom but swallowed it down by blaming himself since she was the breadwinner and convincing himself that he had to sacrifice his happiness to make things work, which led Hizumi into that warped state of thinking "I'm sorry" = I want to be with you.

It honestly wasn't until the mom was out of the picture mainly running the business in America that he actually started branching out and actually discovering his passions and what he's good at. Which for me is a key difference between Hizumi and her mom. Despite her disparaging comments when he tries to self-improve, Hizumi doesn't actually go out of her way to stifle Shinba's attempts probably because deep down she recognizes how important it is for him.

Ultimately the mom is projecting hard and trying to avoid truly acknowledging her own massive role in the marriage's failure.

But now Hizumi herself has some self-growth to do. She has to come to terms with her own trauma and fully accept Shinba's attempts to grow as a person or their relationship will be doomed to follow a similar pattern to her parents. I actually think her mom's gaslighting will get to her but it'll be Orochi and Miyabi (there's a reason the author had them talking about her past this chapter) who will help her get out of her head and confront herself

 

[DrarRV]

Long distance relationship tend to crumble at some point anyway. Bet she's cheating in america too and calling it just a physical relationship. While the husband have to wait by the end of the month just to get his due affection. Long story short that kind of marriage is a time bomb.

 

[Remissio]

Interesting coming accross that theory about "Him" possibly being Orochi. Cuz obvs there are some potential Trans themes that could be read into that, the comparison to Butterflies and Metamorphosis and the past version wearing a dysphoria sweater. But obvs that's a lot of projecting.

Like maybe Hizumi got to Know Orichi while she was Boymodding. And acted much more introverted and closed off but Hizumi helped her gain confidence and Orichi came out and that's what the mom sees as "abandoning" and maybe even Hizumi to a degree because their friendship shifted while for Orochi its still a friendship she fully treasures.

But I'm not expecting that tbh lmao. Just throwing it out there cuz why not. The mom deliberately misgendering would be another villain point towards her tho. But yeah, regardless surprisingly attached to this goofy mango.

 

[dcdfvr]

So the mom is blaming her daughter for loosing her husband, and thats why she act like that huh
Trauma at its finest

No she isnt. She's more than likely saying the same thing that happened to her with her own husband is going to happen to Hizumi so she should give up before it does. Its her own way of showing love to her daughter. Though in context we dont know what exactly happened and it there could have been more to the story outside of her husband simply wanting to be a better match.

 

[pslbslesl]

omg what a chapter 😢

thank you for translating!!!!

 

[quasar]

Although Hizumi's mom is supposed to be the antagonist for this arc, this chapter has me feeling more sympathetic towards her. She wanted to become "a place for someone else to belong," and that's why she worked so much on building her own company, yet the opposite has happened to her. Neither her husband nor daughter want anything to do with her. Not to say that it isn't her fault, but it is tragic.

From the mom's point of view, Hizumi is falling into the same trap she did. Both Hizumi's dad and Shinba are losers who are seemingly supportive and loving partners, until they grow their own wings and fly away. Hizumi's mom believes that her dad was unhappy because mom was holding him back, and her leaving for America was what allowed him to grow and realize he was unhappy in their marriage (likely what he had told her when he left). What likely happened is that "the place for them to belong" was not there with them, that's why the dad tells Hizumi that he wants her to be the place where they belong, since mom isn't there (and that's a lot of pressure to put on a middle school girl to try to hold up a failing marriage).

 

[Absent666]

Another discussion from discord that might be a much better analysis about "Him"
This suits Izami’s talk about change and abandonment much better.

Agree with violence.

Gotta guess Hizumipapa did the same. Once he socially climbed, he ended up ditching his daughter and wife.

Let's remember a thing: Iwaba said the next 2 chapters were gonna be darker, just like this. So don't get surprised if Hizumi isn't a virgin and her 1st boyfriend was her 1st time too.

So we finally got Hizumi's last name (Ashihara) too. The 3 main from the love triangle have their last names finally revealed (Ishikawa, Ashihara and Ameno).

 

[daylee]

Agree with violence.

Gotta guess Hizumipapa did the same. Once he socially climbed, he ended up ditching his daughter and wife.

Let's remember a thing: Iwaba said the next 2 chapters were gonna be darker, just like this. So don't get surprised if Hizumi isn't a virgin and her 1st boyfriend was her 1st time too.

So we finally got Hizumi's last name (Ashihara) too. The 3 main from the love triangle have their last names finally revealed (Ishikawa, Ashihara and Ameno).

After reading the theories and speculations I think this explains a lot. In my perspective, the author might have the two persons in Hizumis past kind of symbolized the two key aspects of a normal person to properly function in a society which is the Profession and Relationship.
The Father touches the aspect of being a loser in terms of "profession" while the "Him" is the aspect of being a loser in terms of "relationship".
This might be a tough pill to swallow but knowing the author past works and is also a big fan of Minanemi Ryo, we might see the author going this path since this really explains a lot why Hizumi has problems coping up with her past.

 

[draco0305]

No she isnt. She's more than likely saying the same thing that happened to her with her own husband is going to happen to Hizumi so she should give up before it does. Its her own way of showing love to her daughter. Though in context we dont know what exactly happened and it there could have been more to the story outside of her husband simply wanting to be a better match.

She definitely see herself in her daughter, and the fact she talk about her father, and specially mention that she is responsible for him growing out of this dependence (page 15) mean that she is blaming her. It's a pretty typical story, that happen multiple times, both IRL and in fiction, tho this time the gender are reversed from the common trope

Oh and btw, there was no fucking love in that chapter (present time), emotional abuse and manipulation isnt love, its pure domination. You could call that a twisted form of love, but the real name is torture.
She purposely baited her own daughter and put seed of distrust and pain in her daughter's relationship out of pure possessiveness.
(ofc I know it's a manga, so this kind of love can be "acceptable", so dont take my second paragraph too seriously, it was mostly me transposing this situation IRL)

 

[nihaoma11]

Thanks for the chapter

 

[TNT261]

Okay her mom is straight evil - like unforgivable evil - for even TRYING to bring back the trauma and blaming it on Hizumi when it was very obviously the mom's fault for never being around. At least with the dad. Who knows about the other person.

Umm, at least for now I really enjoyed this chapter. I like her dad and boy we really do marry our parents. And hey, despite watching it alone it sounds like it DID get turned into a movie, bravo. Like that's cool. He not only ended up writing a novel, but got it turned into a movie playing in theaters in less than 10 years. Good for him. Don't make me hate you next chapter dad.

 

[BackAlleyWeeb]

Damn, this manga must be a huge hit for people with no dignity or self-worth at all. This is just chockfull of disgusting people and people with no dignity.

 

[Rafalga]

And here, we can see what the lack of proper father figure at early age does to a motherfucker. I have zero sympathy for anyone in this story.

 

[neozeed]

It's kinda stupid how literally every woman in this is the same personality. I could buy it when it was just two, but even the mom now?

 

[kaiisthatguy6675]

Agree with violence.

Gotta guess Hizumipapa did the same. Once he socially climbed, he ended up ditching his daughter and wife.

Let's remember a thing: Iwaba said the next 2 chapters were gonna be darker, just like this. So don't get surprised if Hizumi isn't a virgin and her 1st boyfriend was her 1st time too.

So we finally got Hizumi's last name (Ashihara) too. The 3 main from the love triangle have their last names finally revealed (Ishikawa, Ashihara and Ameno).

The chapter where shinba

 

[kaiisthatguy6675]

Agree with violence.

Gotta guess Hizumipapa did the same. Once he socially climbed, he ended up ditching his daughter and wife.

Let's remember a thing: Iwaba said the next 2 chapters were gonna be darker, just like this. So don't get surprised if Hizumi isn't a virgin and her 1st boyfriend was her 1st time too.

So we finally got Hizumi's last name (Ashihara) too. The 3 main from the love triangle have their last names finally revealed (Ishikawa, Ashihara and Ameno).

The chapter where shinba proposed essentially confirmed hizumi is a virgin

 

[Hardkorr]

So the father had low self-esteem, experimented with new things, and is now nowhere to be seen? I guess you could say he went through a real METAMORPHOSIS

 

[henman]

That little detail about laughing in katakana...how interesting.

Oh, I see you included author's colored version in the chapter. Neat. I like that their eyes are of slightly different colors

so, Hizumi inherited her aesthetics from both her mom and dad. That's somehow scary. To the point of blood freezing in veins. What a woman

about Hizumi's dad meeting Shinba's mom after divorce is the wildest theory, although non-impossible one.

so, Hizumi's boyfriend most probably gave up on trying to change and decided to stay loser by will in the end. That's brutal. Poor Hizumi.

Thank you very much for the translation. Both this manga's art and story are beautiful, I can't help but crave for more.

P.S. kid Hizumi is the cutest must protect. I mean both parents kinda protected her but not like that. Not like that!

 

[henman]

Damn, this manga must be a huge hit for people with no dignity or self-worth at all. This is just chockfull of disgusting people and people with no dignity.

would you prioritise your dignity over your happiness?

 

[BackAlleyWeeb]

would you prioritise your dignity over your happiness?

Yes. I cannot even fathom an existence like that. Being happy by being a useless little shit casually insulted and kept like a pet. I would rather die honestly.