Dame Ningen no Aishikata - Vol. 6 Ch. 30 - The Loser and His Girlfriend's “Happiness”

[Njin]

Much as the mom is absolutely horrible and a piece of shit who deserves the worst, she is right. That dude is just a massive loser with no value to provide whatsoever except emotional ig. (Didn't read the whole manga so I could be wrong though it doesn't seem that way) and she is GUARANTEED a life of struggle and strife with him, and it will always weigh down on him. And she wants to keep him that way, strangling him and it will also weigh down on her and potentially stifle him even more.

They just aren't fit for each other if we disregard emotional stuff, being a "kind" person doesn't really pay the bills in this economy. He will always feel inferior and insecure. Better off he leaves, becomes someone with actual worth then maybe pursue her again once he is actually worthy.

is this ragebait

 

[BackAlleyWeeb]

is this ragebait

 

[DeSNJeS]

Miyabi would not accept winning Shinba like this!
Time for her and Orochi to come in for the save!

 

[Weebius]

Saw some of The Discourse on xitter and realized I read a bit of the early chapters and like the first chapter and left it. Seems like it got a lot more interesting than just satisfying masochistic desires, so we will be peeping.

 

[magical_mashi]

Orochi’s gonna get Shinba straight and Miyabi gonna slap Hizumi back to reality, trust.

 

[raionhankei]

Even though the crowd is angry with her mother doing shit with their relationship. One thing is certain...

they will never be happy together because all the happy moments are purely forced by the script to continue being a romance, FL simply sinks the guy to the well every time (I know there is a reason) and that's what prevents them from being a real couple, she makes ML worse at every opportunity and that also hinders their relationship because of the colossal insecurity that he never stops having.

This is a point that her mother's bitch mentioned and it's true, they will never be happy like this and the author only has a few chapters to fix this infinite loop that he created for the story to attract attention.

 

[neetnf]

While the two seem similar, the mother only loved that he was to useless to leave her, but the daughter can see his other sides, his passion and love and lives that too, even when if it causes her conflict with the fact she loves his uselessness, and this allows her to move for her partner instead of just stopping their other from moving away from them until they escape their cage. One wants to freeze their love in place forever stagnant while the daughter adores how her love moves

 

[Rafalga]

Even though the crowd is angry with her mother doing shit with their relationship. One thing is certain...

they will never be happy together because all the happy moments are purely forced by the script to continue being a romance, FL simply sinks the guy to the well every time (I know there is a reason) and that's what prevents them from being a real couple, she makes ML worse at every opportunity and that also hinders their relationship because of the colossal insecurity that he never stops having.

This is a point that her mother's bitch mentioned and it's true, they will never be happy like this and the author only has a few chapters to fix this infinite loop that he created for the story to attract attention.

I think the biggest problem with the ML is that he is comically incompetent. Some traits might be exaggerated for narrative purposes but his is just out of this world. I can't see someone like him improving in an acceptable time frame unless manga magic (and since there are like 2 chapters left, it will be manga magic). FMC is equally fucked in the head due to childhood and while mom is WAY out of line with all the gaslighting shit, she is really not that wrong considering everything we've seen about them so far. So i don't know how a dramatic reunion suppose to fix any of their individual and pretty fundamental problems in 2 chapters.

 

[TNT261]

Jesus christ that mother is awful. There's not much else to say here. She would be very ashamed of herself and there's virtually no room for forgiveness. She's getting involved in her adult daughter's life to a degree that's not just unhealthy and toxic but very controlling and self serving. Not wanting Hizumi to repeat the same mistakes is complete bull. This is way past "monster in law" territory. If Hizumi didn't want to move overseas with her in the first place when she was still dependent on her parents and not building a life for herself, why would she now? The only possible reason would be if she got broken from her mother interfering with her happiness to the point she felt she not only couldn't be happen being in control of her own life, but actively hurting the happiness of the one she loved. Any half decent mother would've told her daughter, "No, it's not your fault. What happened between your dad and I were both of our faults completely. And I'm sorry." This bitch traumatizes her own daughter and guilts her into thinking she ruins the lives of those she loves (idk how she's supposed to find happiness and start a family with ANYONE if that's the mindset she needs to get trapped in just to go along with the mother), and the only real reason to do that is for someone to pass along their guilt and feel better about themsslves. Despite it all, Shinba and Hizumi managed to have something of a healthy relationship. She feared him improving, but still pushed him to improve and gradually accepted his own desires. He also was motivated by her to be better while still supporting her unconditionally like she needed and being honest about his strong feelings.

I'm not concerned with the author resolving this and the main couple living happy ever after. I'd love it if it happened immediately, but then there'd be no more manga. And it's already ending soon. I'm concerned because the only acceptable consequence to this is Hizumi's mother being cut out of her and Shinba's lives entirely for at least the next 20 years. Like she doesn't get to meet her grandkids until they're full grown adults that can't be ruined by her "cut out". Not out of revenge but genuine concern for the mental wellbeing of their family. And I don't think this Manga has the balls to do that. Frankly the mother has been written as too bad of a person. The other obstacles in their relationship have all been people that are actually had to hate. Tsundere childhood friend that's more like a puppy than anything, doting older sister with weird fetishes that shouldn't be allowed near playgrounds, personal issues, etc. This mother is literally a devil in their ears actively manipulating them to make the decisions she wants so she can feel better about her past mistakes & failures as a mother at the cost of her daughter's basic mental wellbeing.

 

[TNT261]

I think the biggest problem with the ML is that he is comically incompetent. Some traits might be exaggerated for narrative purposes but his is just out of this world. I can't see someone like him improving in an acceptable time frame unless manga magic (and since there are like 2 chapters left, it will be manga magic). FMC is equally fucked in the head due to childhood and while mom is WAY out of line with all the gaslighting shit, she is really not that wrong considering everything we've seen about them so far. So i don't know how a dramatic reunion suppose to fix any of their individual and pretty fundamental problems in 2 chapters.

They don't have to fix anything. Opinions on either character aside, you don't have to fix yourself before being in a relationship. You just get in a relationship and see where it goes. If you find someone that accepts you are including your flaws, who you accept including their flaws well that's great. Better if you both start to improve each other (not one sidedly (and Shinba was gaining self confidence, but we also saw Hizumi start to trust herself & others more; she hung out with friends again (her old friend/Shinba's boss made clear that she hadn't in a long time) and was making new ones)). But none of that is even a prerequisite. All either person in a relationship has to do is be happy. Not forever just in the moment. If that stops or things break down, okay. Relationships end all the time. Happily married couples get divorced after 10, 20, 30+ years of being happy.

I agree that it'd be impossible and just downright a bad ending if Shin a and Hizumi magically became different people, not better people, different people. Because their character flaws aren't things that can be fixed and go away completely without them swapping bodies. That's going to be a lifelong journey for both of them with both having started in childhood (it takes a LOT of work to change mindsets and feelings we develop through childhood especially because our brains are just trying to avoid pain we felt during development). But they really don't need to. They aren't breaking up because of their problem or any character flaw causing their relationship to fall apart (they're kinda perfect for each other in the same way they're terrible for other people; Hizumi really lucked out because she just wanted a actual scum of the Earth moocher and her previous dating experience was the type of men that'd cheat on her). They're breaking up because someone else told them they'd be making the other person happy by doing so, played to each person's insecurities while doing so, and then created (manipulated) a situation where they'd break up without either person even actually saying they want to or should.

In writing you don't want to resolve a character's flaws, but to leave a reader knowing that they've been confronted and that we can trust the characters to continue to work on them past whatever point we end on. We have that for Shinba actually. He's pretty much good. If this Manga ended right now we'd leave knowing he's going to keep trying his best to improve himself, doing so at whatever pace he can, and all while making Hizumi happy and feeling like she's his number 1. Money isn't an issue (if she had it her way Hizumi would handle all of it) and Hizumi doesn't want a partner that's completely independent. Shinba also doesn't even need to buy a ring or be the one to propose. That can just as easily be the woman in a relationship. The one who still needs to confront her flaws and take a more active role in improving herself is actually Hizumi. She's entirely dependent on feeling like Shinba is dependent on her, and she struggles too much anytime we see him even try to improve himself. She's gotten better, but we need to see more active and conscious effort.

The mother is an opportunity for the author to showcase that Hizumi is ready for that and there's a future for her. When the MC's childhood friend entered the fray he very strongly refused to leave Hizumi for her, and when his sister came in he strongly pushed for living away from her with Hizumi. And while Hizumi had to help the sister become independent, it was still Shinba that made it clear he didn't want to stop moving forward with his life or relationship for his sister. Those were people from the MC's life that came in trying to drag him back to be the person he was, so that he'd stay in their lives & not in Hizumi's (who they thought would take him away). This is the first time someone from Hizumi's past is doing the same and she needs to properly stand up to her mother. When that happens they can move forward with their relationship and we can even be kinda confident in it, but more importantly she can move forward with her life. She doesn't have to stay with Shinba and Shinba doesn't have to stay with Hizumi. There may come a point when they aren't happy together or their flaws don't mesh anymore. Who knows. A good ending is just feeling confident the main characters will keep moving forward.