Imasara desu ga, Osananajimi wo Suki ni Natte Shimaimashita - Ch. 32 - She called me an idiot!

[story645]

Can speak this from personal experience, she doesn't want to drag him down with her, so in a kind of twisted way, she loves him so bad she wants him to get away from a ticking bomb which is herself.

The keyword here is twisted - I totally buy that ghosting is part of the self-destructive trauma influenced way she shows care. What I was trying to get at is how does ghosting fit if you think that the ways in which she showed care up til then were healthy? Like why ghost instead of breaking up? Why not respond to Yuu's "was it something I did" text with a "no, it's my stuff I have to figure out, please don't call me again"

Honestly what I'm trying to understand is how people see the Aya/Yuu relationship. Fundementally relationships don't suddenly become unhealthy, they just ignore the issues until they blow up. Like even if her family issues magically went away, the problems in their relationship were as much about how they dealt with problems as the problems themselves.

Which also just to be clear, I'm not trying to be a judgemental scold. Like they're teenagers, it's wildly unsurprising that they have poor communication skills and are immature. (Hell, I've had conflict avoidant bosses who have inevitably
caused things to blow up spectacularly). Like however my posts have been interpreted, I don't think that makes 'em terrible people.

 

[fflogschampion]

Yep exactly, this is a very good manga. The author have to set up Hikari that way as a red herring, so the twist could work. I feel sorry for those who read this and were expecting something else, and I honestly understand their hate. But for those who like you and me, this is a good meal.

If he needed a twist for this to work or to bring attention to it then it's because his original idea wouldn't stand on its own or gain momentum. If this story was really good as some say he could've skipped straight to it without needing to bait readers.

Now he's intentionally dragging this garbage for ages because he knows some people will read at least until we go back to the present before dropping it and he already got in the good graces of a publisher to print this slop by now.

Also, good for him that got Yom to draw his manga too, because otherwise nobody would be reading this. I know I wouldn't have even checked this if not for Yom.

 

[beThereShortly]

You know, I think this manga has completely won me back. I wait with fear in my heart for the time when we'll leave flashback-land.
It's going to hurt my little heart. And I'm here for it.

 

[Dingo777]

You know, I think this manga has completely won me back. I wait with fear in my heart for the time when we'll leave flashback-land.
It's going to hurt my little heart. And I'm here for it.

Stockholm Syndrome: The Manga

 

[ComNguoi]

If he needed a twist for this to work or to bring attention to it then it's because his original idea wouldn't stand on its own or gain momentum. If this story was really good as some say he could've skipped straight to it without needing to bait readers.

Now he's intentionally dragging this garbage for ages because he knows some people will read at least until we go back to the present before dropping it and he already got in the good graces of a publisher to print this slop by now.

Also, good for him that got Yom to draw his manga too, because otherwise nobody would be reading this. I know I wouldn't have even checked this if not for Yom.

Not necessary, a well done twist is always welcoming. I have to be honest with you, if this manga just stay being the fluffy manga like the Hikari chapters? Half of the people here won't even know about it, I personally have heard about this before but didn't fully engage in it until I heard people talking about the drama so much. The Yami arc can totally become a separate manga too, but by combining the two, we get this manga which I and a lot of people I know consider gold. I know and I understand people hate but meh, you can't please everyone. This manga will go to my top 10 fav manga if the author manages to get the ending right (please don't be a harem or a generic ending).

 

[ComNguoi]

The keyword here is twisted - I totally buy that ghosting is part of the self-destructive trauma influenced way she shows care. What I was trying to get at is how does ghosting fit if you think that the ways in which she showed care up til then were healthy? Like why ghost instead of breaking up? Why not respond to Yuu's "was it something I did" text with a "no, it's my stuff I have to figure out, please don't call me again"

Depression is one hell of a ride bro. Ghosting someone (running away from a problem) is easier than breaking up (facing a problem), which stays true to her character at that time. It would be way out of her character if she actually pulls of a normal break up lmao. Trust me one day she will regret it tho.

And that's why I told you it's hard for a normal person to understand her action, like if you don't point it out, I won't even know that normal people find it confusing. Small details like that make her feel so real.

 

[story645]

Depression is one hell of a ride bro.

Look I was a depressed teenage girl way back when, (hell, it's probably why I spend too much time here) so again I totally get why she ghosted.

Her ghosting did not surprise me b/c I thought she was being conflict averse throughout their relationship and the whole "come live with me" was a test that Yuu failed hard.

I'm just trying to understand the folks who thought everything was great until then.

 

[GennArc]

So been thinking in this more and that it's probably more supposed to be a contrast with Aya (not Yuu) anyway. Hikari is failing at doing Aya's "oh nevermind, it's not a big deal" act.

Err, if we are talking about resoluteness, Hikari has nothing on Yami. The latter managed to get rid of her stepdad despite being just a schoolgirl (almost dropout), despite her mother being fully on the stepdad's side and not giving a damn about her etc. Same thing with the breakup which she went through despite her strong feelings for Yuu. Hikari is not even close to that.

Yes? In chapter 17 she literally thinks that his confession about not feeling worthy is not what she was hoping to hear, but she thanks him for sharing w/ her.

So if he told her that he doesn't want to come to her school because his ex girlfriend, who also happens to be Hikari's best friend, is there, do you really think that would help pacify Hikari? I'm not so sure about that.

Yuu doesn't.

The difference is that Hikari thinks she actually has good chances and at several points she sounds confident that her confession is going to succeed. Yuu is confident he doesn't stand a chance.

ETA: let's accept the hypothetical of his feelings weren't romantic, or that he fell head over heels with Aya, even then the only thing we're told he tried to be on par with Hikari is the entrance exam. No trying to beat her quiz scores or get on the exam leaderboard with her or best her at a festival - none of the staples of a high school rivalry

You're mixing up different timelines, no? Otherwise I'm not sure why you mention his feelings not being romantic, it's clear that they at least used to be romantic, and he says as much to Yami.
In middle school he was in love with Hikari and he couldn't even think of a way to make her look at him as a boy, not as a childhood friend, so he wanted to at least enter the same high school as her which was out of his league. Of course he couldn't compete with her academically, because they weren't even close in terms of their scores.
They are now in different high schools, so even if he is in love with her now after breaking up with Yami, there's no way for them to compete.

 

[GennArc]

What I was trying to get at is how does ghosting fit if you think that the ways in which she showed care up til then were healthy? Like why ghost instead of breaking up? Why not respond to Yuu's "was it something I did" text with a "no, it's my stuff I have to figure out, please don't call me again"

Because she couldn't stand the pain of telling someone she loves so much that they are breaking up and seeing his reaction?
I'm not saying that was the right thing to do, and she definitely was egoistical in that decision (though in her mind she played that role of a carefree girl so that Yuu doesn't start blaming himself). But I don't see how this is even related to their prior relationship. The break up wasn't because it was going the wrong way, but because of her own circumstances.

 

[story645]

So if he told her that he doesn't want to come to her school because his ex girlfriend, who also happens to be Hikari's best friend, is there, do you really think that would help pacify Hikari?

I think she'd stop asking him to come.

You're mixing up different timelines, no?

I'm just so tired of arguing w/ you about Yuu only confessing once. So instead, shifting the argument to "attempts", Maruto only has Yuu attempt to get on her level all of once with the entrance exam rather than have Yuu make multiple attempts via quizzes, exams, all the usual school rivalry fare.

Err, if we are talking about resoluteness, Hikari has nothing on Yami.

I was saying it was a contrast to Aya's constant deflection.

Multiple people have already run through "does Aya bail?" across multiple threads so let's not do that again.

ough in her mind she played that role of a carefree girl so that Yuu doesn't start blaming himself

Aya's thoughts on why she plays pretend have nothing to do w/ Yuu blaming himself. The thought bubble was that the conversation was getting too close to real feelings so she switched persona. She's trying to avoid being the mess that Hikari is being - that's why Hikari's thoughts are parallel about wanting to show a cool facade.

Makes extra sense as parallels when you consider they're the lead up conversations to the big events: ghosting and school festival.

The break up wasn't because it was going the wrong way, but because of her own circumstances.

Most of the teasing girlfriend manga (Anjou, Akutsuki, etc) have an arc where the male lead calls out his girl for teasing/deflecting/pretending when there's something serious going on underneath to show that the guy knows his girl and can provide emotional support to her. There was no Yuu can provide Aya with emotional support episode & then she dumps him when she'd most need that support.

 

[GennArc]

Aya's thoughts on why she plays pretend have nothing to do w/ Yuu blaming himself. The thought bubble was that the conversation was getting too close to real feelings so she switched persona. She's trying to avoid being the mess that Hikari is being - that's why Hikari's thoughts are parallel about wanting to show a cool facade.

Which chapter and which thought bubble are we talking about?

There was no Yuu can provide Aya with emotional support episode & then she dumps him when she'd most need that support.

But that's not what caused the breakup. It was merely Yami's decision, not the lack of support or whatever from Yuu's side. She didn't blame him for that, she didn't dislike their relationship.

 

[story645]

Which chapter and which thought bubble are we talking about?

Hikari's thoughts when asking Yuu to the festival (19) vs. Aya's thoughts when asking him to live with her (28?)

She didn't blame him for that, she didn't dislike their relationship

Never said she disliked their relationship, just that it wasn't in a place where she could handle it and her family stuff.

ETA: Like she felt she had to play pretend, Yuu didn't really do anything to reassure her she didn't (no, I don't blame him for not being a mind reader), and it just wasn't gonna work w/ the new stress. Which, Aya's home life was always a dramatic wreck and that's why I think it was never just about home life.

There's this really classic stereotype on break ups where one partner thinks it came out of nowhere and the other would say it's been on the rocks for ages & I feel like we're playing out the meta version of that.

 

[GennArc]

Hikari's thoughts when asking Yuu to the festival (19) vs. Aya's thoughts when asking him to live with her (28?)

There is no thought bubble in the manga version of 28 about that.
There are her thoughts in the novel version but it's not about getting close to real feelings or anything like that.
I don't think there's anything resembling a parallel here.

Like she felt she had to play pretend, Yuu didn't really do anything to reassure her she didn't (no, I don't blame him for not being a mind reader), and it just wasn't gonna work w/ the new stress

It's not about a stress. It's about the guilt she feels towards her mother and the care she requires in her state. Yami needs to stay with her all the time.

There's this really classic stereotype on break ups where one partner thinks it came out of nowhere and the other would say it's been on the rocks for ages & I feel like we're playing out the meta version of that.

I don't see it. Was Yami happy in that relationship? Yes, she says several times that this is the happiest she's ever been. Was Yuu happy? No way to know, but both his last words to her in person and his questions via phone suggest that he treasured the relationship too. So even if it's a meta version of what you're talking about, which side is the unhappy one?

 

[story645]

but it's not about getting close to real feelings or anything like that.

" "Agh! You're lying again!"
So, I do what I always do -- I change course."

She changes course rather than letting him know that she's not lying, which yeah the truth is her real feelings.

So even if it's a meta version of what you're talking about, which side is the unhappy one?

Aya is quite explicitly compartmentalizing almost their entire relationship - being the carefree cool girl in front of Yuu and otherwise being the deeply tragic emo kid with family issues. She broke down crying before they slept together because of her family and then it never comes up again until she ghosted him because the things she was crying about that first time reached a cataclysmic event.

Aya never talks to Yuu about the most important thing in her life, the thing that's driving so many of her decisions, including the decision to dump him. Yeah that's a 🚩that for whatever reason she feels she can't be her whole self with him.

ETA2: but also honestly I think we've already done this loop like 4 times and are at a stalemate of "how open is Aya in this relationship and is that a problem"

 

[GennArc]

Aya is quite explicitly compartmentalizing almost their entire relationship - being the carefree cool girl in front of Yuu and otherwise being the deeply tragic emo kid with family issues. She broke down crying before they slept together because of her family and then it never comes up again until she ghosted him

I think that's a misconception. If you think she was spending time with Yuu happily and then went home to be depressed and sad, I'm pretty sure that's not what was happening. She was having the happiest time of her life, and that's why she decided on that plan to get rid of the asshole stepdad, "to reclaim her normal life". And finally having some motivation (thanks to Yuu) to put in effort helped her go through with the plan.
It's the consequences of that plan that broke her, not some sort of accumulated bitterness or sadness.

ETA2: but also honestly I think we've already done this loop like 4 times and are at a stalemate of "how open is Aya in this relationship and is that a problem"

Agreed, if this is tiring us both out, no need to continue.

 

[story645]

If you think she was spending time with Yuu happily and then went home to be depressed and sad, I'm pretty sure that's not what was happening.

We see her back to being a mopey mess when she meets Hikari and all she's thinking about is how annoying her mom is (Yuu is barely in her thoughts) but you think she completely turned that off for 3 months? I mean this in all sincerity, do you actually work that way? Do the other people in your life?

It's the consequences of that plan that broke her, not some sort of accumulated bitterness or sadness.

The way you're writing here and earlier about other conflicts make me think you blame blow ups on external events - ghosting due to family matters, school climax due to fate, breaking due to a plan. It explains to me why you write as if being conflict averse is good, because that would be preventing the bad thing (conflict). Which the natural outcome of that world view is that the characters aren't responsible for the bad things because it's not their fault it's just how things happen.

The way I see it is that Maruto wrote these characters with agency and therefore most of these events are at least somewhat the consequences of the character's actions. So I see being conflict averse as bad b/c that conflict exists as long as these people are interacting. Like could Aya prevent her mom's suicide attempt? Probably not, but she also chose to go it alone on a highly risky plan w/o talking to anyone (including any adults) and then chose to martyr herself b/c of the outcome. Which like yes cut all the slack cause immature teenagers, but that doesn't remove their accountability.

 

[GennArc]

We see her back to being a mopey mess when she meets Hikari and all she's thinking about is how annoying her mom is (Yuu is barely in her thoughts) but you think she completely turned that off for 3 months? I mean this in all sincerity, do you actually work that way?

Most certainly. In those months (actually from late February to late July, so 5 months):
1. She had someone very dear in her life, something to always look forward to.
2. Her mother didn't bother her at all, she was still with the stepdad. Yami says as much in that extra chapter

Ever since she divorced her second husband last year after some... well, stuff, she's gotten (to put it nicely) overly involved in my life.
The same mom who used to not even bat an eye if I didn't come home for months now won't even let me stay out overnight.

And since now Yami had someone close to her, she was no longer in a situation where she is alone helpless.
3. She didn't even spend much time at home until the plan was set in motion and she had to stay there to calm her mother.

And after the break up she no longer had that someone who made her life brighter and had all of her mother's bitterness focused on her. So yes, of course it can work that way.

The way you're writing here and earlier about other conflicts make me think you blame blow ups on external events - ghosting due to family matters, school climax due to fate, breaking due to a plan. It explains to me why you write as if being conflict averse is good, because that would be preventing the bad thing (conflict). Which the natural outcome of that world view is that the characters aren't responsible for the bad things because it's not their fault it's just how things happen.

Wrong interpretation and oversimplification of my words. There's no general rule, as in "every conflict is caused by circumstances" or "every conflict is caused by a clash of personalities", every situation should be viewed individually.
If we take the school festival thing as an example - yes, this is caused by a series of decisions taken by characters, but it could easily not happen, had the circumstances been slightly different. "Fate" is not to blame, but fate definitely played a role in there.
And if we're talking about how responsibilities work, if you ever read The Magus by J. Fowles, the moral lesson of that book is close to how I view it (or it'd be better to say it influenced the way I view it).

therefore most of these events are at least somewhat the consequences of the character's actions

I agree with that.

So I see being conflict averse as bad b/c that conflict exists as long as these people are interacting. Like could Aya prevent her mom's suicide attempt?

Which is funny, because she definitely could've prevented her mom's suicide attempt if she actually was conflict averse. By just not going through with that plan, leaving her mother alone and letting her live with the stepdad.

 

[Firemorfox]

Who is this Hikari person you speak of? LMAO

a new random character I think. We should focus more on the main female lead Yami.

 

[story645]

ETA: yeah, thinking more on this, I'm out and edited my response out as such. We've treaded the same circles (is Aya/Yuu healthy or sustainable, is Aya the dream girl, Hikari/Aya/Yuu and resiliency, etc.) so many times that I'm pretty sure either of us could c&p our previous answers and anyone who's still reading this already either sides w/ one of us or thinks we're both dumb for going this hard on fictional characters (or both, I'm team both)

 

[ComNguoi]

I'm just trying to understand the folks who thought everything was great until then.

I mean she did more with Yuu in 1 chapter than Hikari did with Yuu in 22 chapters? And Hikari was supposed to be the childhood friend here. And did you forget the fireworks chapter, when Yami was thinking about how she hate the crowd, but saying that everything will be fine when Yuu is with her? If that's not love idk what is anymore man... Meanwhile, we have Hikari, she umm...sure views Yuu as something more than a brother now I guess? Why do I have a feeling like Hikari is that type of teenage girl who will fall for almost anyone just because she read too many Shoujo manga lol.