Jimi de Medatanai Watashi wa, Kyou de Owari ni shimasu. - Ch. 8

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may be a bit callus, but the parents dying im 100% ok with, eff em
the kids... im about 50/50 as they caused the fire themselves, granted all we see here is black hair dealing with parents and then 2 hyperactive little brothers... I would probably have let them come out but let the parents burn.
 
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I don’t like her, but what I do like is that she’s was actually a NORMAL person. Like pre evil her wasn’t some poor girl who had the personality of a saint and turned evil due to...I dunno...shitty parents and i guess bullying...? While at school she contemplated stealing things and (while I absolutely loathe her for it) she basically showed no remorse for ‘ruining’ another persons life, it was more like a “oh poor you but now I get....”.

TLDR: she wasn’t absolute saint turned evil and I like it.
 
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I kinda wish she started the fire herself. In my opinion It would have better cemented how far she's willing to go for her life of luxury. But her leaving her innocent brothers to die is pretty good too.
 
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uhh, so..... the author want us to feel a pity for her? nah fam not me
 
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Oh wow, an antagonist with a solid backstory!! I don't condone what she did, but I can see how she became this way and why she did the things she did.

Crown Prince is quite awful though. I can't believe he was such a bully. Hope he gets his just desserts soon.
 
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From the looks of it, the fire was already pretty uncontrollable. There was no way she's saving everyone and I kinda have to applaud her for thinking of herself instead of dying with them.
 
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@Fui-nee Rather than make us feel for her, I think the author wanted to show what led her to do the things she did. Not in a way that excuses her actions, just a "She's a bad person, here's why:" sort of way. I mean, she realized that crying and clinging to men allowed her to get what she wanted, and the prince is hooked on her now, so she decided to just keep doing it since it was the first time she actually had any control over her life. And even though she didn't start the fire she simply saw it as an opportunity to separate herself from her family. The fake tears and the lying were bad enough, but the moment she abandoned her family, specifically her brothers, was the turning point for her as a person and the author wanted to show us that.
 
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This background story is pretty solid. Better than that Evan at least. Her actions can be understood although not justified.
 
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😒🥱 at this reveal

It's not bad to make your antagonist sympathetic. It's not bad to have characters who seem cruel until you're given their perspective. It's not even bad to have a character happily accept a bully doing a 180 because they're suddenly receiving gifts and positive attention. All of those things are good.

It's bad and eyerolling when you do it this way. Oh that girl you thought was a BITCH? Actually, she was being abused this whole time, her mom died, her new moms an alcoholic and stealing money, she's expected to be daughter-mom to new moms kids, dad is weak wimp, and, of course, she's being bullied. All in one chapter. Wow queen.

I can tell this author is trying. I can SEE the effort they're putting into this. I can see the shell of a tale about abuse and abusers, the cycle of cruelty, the difficulty in remaining a good person when in a hellish environment. I can see what they want to do, but they're just not hitting it. The bad guys are still one dimensional and dumb and every time we get backstory for anyone, it's jarring, with little to no setup - The saintess' pov of the ink scene could have been a natural expansion on this theme of "you never really know what someone's going through, so maybe you should ask" but it feels like a gotcha instead. The smug and evil girl was just a scared lil girl this whole time, aw 😢

But they're
 
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hmm i wouldnt say she killed her siblings.
it would be the parents that should have protected them

but i would argue that she has forsaken them, more an indirect murderer

also could it be her mother by blood died of the curse that also the cooks brother had?
could it be that hr own powers are running wild without her noticing?
 
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@Lemongrassv
Oh mate, you have no idea how close I got to losing my mind due to my abusive mother.

Eventually I was dancing on razors edge of just letting my values go completely. If I didn't have iron rules that I would and will never break I either would be in an asylum by now, or in jail.

Trust me, when you have reached a certain level of pressure, abuse and just sheer mental exhaustion/torture, there comes a point where you will make a choice that will radically alter the way you think and behave... or your mind will break and the choice will be made for you.

Thankfully I am a bit more resilient than I initially thought and came out still with still decent moral values, but even then, that mental exhaustion has never gone away.

I can see a bit of me in her. Not the lying to gain favours and painting someone's else as the culprit, I hate seeing someone else in pain, but in the part of her family life and the pressure she lived under, and the crossroads.

I have faced more than fair share of those. Thankfully not to that level she had at the end, but safe to say, it is the kind of crossroads that someone that hasn't gone through these kind of conditions would likely not even see as crossroads.

Yeah yeah, I know it sounds like I am being some sort of edge lord, fuck, I wish I was. But life is pretty good at making almost everyone at the very least slightly fucked up.

I write as a hobby and one thing you realise after a while, you always put a bit of yourself into the characters you write. Be it bad or good aspects.

"Write what you know" line is pretty good in that department. And no one knows the most fucked up aspects of your own mind but yourself, so i wouldn't be surprised that the black haired villaines is one of the writer's worst aspect (in their own eyes), magnified a bit no doubt.
 
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Thank you for 3 chapters update! ❤
I kinda understand in her perspective if she just want to leave her dad and stepmom be, but what about the lives of your siblings? They are innocent and you hold no grudge against them. I don't feel sympathetic with her for one bit.
 
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@Elmithian bro I do appreciate the attempt to teach me that the world is cruel, but that's not what I'm criticizing here. I am sorry you're mother was so vile and I promise you I'm fairly familiar with the way parents can hammer your brain into a shape until you don't which way is up.

I edit as a hobby (and rl). I edit stuff involving abuse. I edit edgy stuff. I have had conversations with writers like yourself, conversations that went along the lines of:
Me: I like this part where the mother suddenly attacks her son for simply not hiding his anger enough and despite that, the son rationalizes she was right to do so. But having her break a bottle and dig the shards into his cheek reads a little cartoonish.
Writer: well originally I based this off my mother and what she actually did was dig her fingernails into the skin under my eyes to rip at it, but I thought readers would think that was unrealistic. Should I change it back?
Me: ...Yeah. That...that would fit the tone better. More, uh, visceral.

I'm not criticizing this story for having a tragic backstory, abusive parents, children who are fucked up due to fucked up parents, etc. That is why I specifically said
It's not bad to make your antagonist sympathetic. It's not bad to have characters who seem cruel until you're given their perspective. It's not even bad to have a character happily accept a bully doing a 180 because they're suddenly receiving gifts and positive attention. All of those things are good.


I'm annoyed by this story because the writer isn't doing the legwork. I'm not incredulous that someone would have a dead mom, a new alcoholic mom, a wimp dad, two kids she's expected to be mom to, AND be bullied - I'm irritated that that all of this info was dumped in a single chapter. It's just boom, boom, boom, boom, are you sad yet?

Let me reiterate - I can see what the writer is TRYING to do. A subplot where the "evil" character is shown to be simply trying to survive in a hellish world, that the "trying to survive at all costs" mindset does not create kind people? That abuse leads to fucked up mentalities? That you can grow callous to the screams of a child with enough prodding? That can be great. But this story doesn't have the skill and it's clunky as hell. They're not giving characters enough room to breathe, the pacing is all over the place, and the backstories deserve a lot more foreshadowing than they're receiving.
 

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