Exactly. This defeatist mindset is so retarded.
You know you're not the protagonist, and since you know the story I can understand thinking: the protagonist is going to be the hero.
But at least try to be a supporter, a friend, an ally. All those things are fine. Be the protagonist of YOUR life while trying to help the good guys.
But no, it's always "I want to be the mob character in the shadows".
personally i dont want to be the hero looks wise i want to look like a thug shark teeth,evil looking eyes, etc
personality i want to give off the the false impression im just worst kind of person while not actually doing anything evil.
while secretly doing good and aiding the hero.
honestly the only way id even join the heroes party is if he or she is totally oblivious to obvious evil vibes and comically evil way of talking and thinks im a nice guy (which i am but they shouldnt know that)
and just thinks there aliies are overreacting about me being evil.
so essentially id join the party to mess with the heros friends and or harem thinking iv got some nefarious plan for the hero but im actually an ally.
maybe do a big reveal at the end of journey hopefully not in a big self sacrifice scenario but if necessary i will commit becausew if im going out im going out my way.