Member
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2018
- Messages
- 94
@Liquidxlax
the problem is that it references things from her childhood that we never get to see. huge gamechanging things, that it glosses over. apparently she's rich, due to her childhood/ what came before (this does influence her life). Apparently she's hailed as a genius inventor (this is a magor change in how everyone treats her).
unlike this version it doesn't take the time to walk us through it, to have her earn these abilities, to get the training. so it comes off as an author power fantasy instead of the great story it could be (and is in this version)
I would also argue that this version does a much better job with the relationships. it very cutely highlights her caring and mentor father. it shows off her slow wearing down and acceptance of her A-hole ex-fiance. And the minor but influential ways in which she compromised her individuality.
I saw nothing even remotely like that in the other telling.
I will grant that this one is not as far along as the other story wise, but I will bet that it will go just as in depth and detailed in the current teased relationship as it did in previous ones
the problem is that it references things from her childhood that we never get to see. huge gamechanging things, that it glosses over. apparently she's rich, due to her childhood/ what came before (this does influence her life). Apparently she's hailed as a genius inventor (this is a magor change in how everyone treats her).
unlike this version it doesn't take the time to walk us through it, to have her earn these abilities, to get the training. so it comes off as an author power fantasy instead of the great story it could be (and is in this version)
I would also argue that this version does a much better job with the relationships. it very cutely highlights her caring and mentor father. it shows off her slow wearing down and acceptance of her A-hole ex-fiance. And the minor but influential ways in which she compromised her individuality.
I saw nothing even remotely like that in the other telling.
I will grant that this one is not as far along as the other story wise, but I will bet that it will go just as in depth and detailed in the current teased relationship as it did in previous ones