While the admiration of a fan is usually nice, I'm glad that the author recognizes that at certain points it becomes overbearing.
Seeing some folks adore something or someone to the point that they sort of elevate it to another realm is kinda sad. It's as if they don't see the other party as individuals anymore, just an idol or creator, above them on a pedestal.
Glad to see that she's doing some introspection, while I think she is genuine in her love for genjin, it's important to know what sort of love she has for them (hoping its the friendly sort, and not develop into something obsessive lol).