Thanks for trying. If your translators do actually know both Japanese and English, you might want them to read the previous chapters so they can get a whole lot of context that they desperately need.
If this is mostly MTL and you do not know enough english or japanese to do any proofreading, that explains a hell of a lot. Forget problems with the dialog's flow. The story is conflicting with itself now, and often what you see and what they say do not seem to match up