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Geez I could really go for some steamed buns and dim-sum.
Tonari no Seki no Yatsu ga Souiu Me de Mitekuru - Ch. 27
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Dex-chan lover
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Lol, cute that Eguchi is jealous so she won't let him eat the food because its from a girl childhood friend. The only way she wins in her mind is by making him eat it in private with her feeding it to him. Love these knuckleheads, can't wait for more of their antics.
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They are sooooo married! 
Thank you for the translation! Do you plan to translate the twitter Halloween special?
Thank you for the translation! Do you plan to translate the twitter Halloween special?
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The author’s also working on another series now
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Ohhhhh she jealous
So reverse situations? they even looks like the protagonist genderbended/silbings xd
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this manga really deserves so much better man. mylene scans aren't bad by any means, but they're rushed. and the way they translate is full of creative liberties that are a bit too rough and leave behind a bit too much through the language filter
listen i like the feminization of the western (eastern?) man as much as the next guy, but she did not say ikezawa chan. she said ikezawa jyan, as in "Oh, if it isn't Ikezawa!" or "Oh, (look,) it's Ikezawa!"
the original ends with "kano-(jo)", i.e. girl-(friend). the first text bubble in this screenshot should've ended a bit later and should be interrupted: "That person behind you... Could she be your girlf--"
probably a bit nitpicky here but ikezawa is being smug about it here. like "Heh heh heh. All part of the plan." he's so full of himself it's like almost he's chuuni. whereas in the mylene translation he sounds like a 5th grader filled with nothing but joy
eguchi here recoils, winces back in pain at how awful that name is. it's more of an "ugh", "woah", "urgh". meanwhile the "eh..." doesn't quite convey the same thing, and it almost sounds like she's more sad about it than disgusted, somehow? this might be a personal thing, just for me, though. you're probably okay to discard this paragraph
(putting aside the fact that this should be "ugh" or something similar, as said above) this is definitely very minor but notice how the original ends with a period and the mylene translated ver has both a ?! and a !. being honest here, he's not that enthusiastic about it. he's not rejecting eguchi's "ugh" with all of his heart and soul like his life depends on it, he's just bummed out that eguchi isn't as enthusiastic about it as he thought she'd be, and so he's trying to convince her of his genius. this'd be better translated as something more monotone. "'Ugh...' what? It's (a) genius (idea), admit it." or so
now THIS is what a good translation looks like. it's a liberal translation and yet it perfectly conveys the sort of chummy bickering tone that two long-time friends would have, which is present in the original too (lit: "Alright, don't come crying to me if you destroy your stomach."); that sense of backhanded insults that only two friends who've known each other for a long period would have. it's based on a previous panel, too... chef's kiss. if only the rest of the chapter(s) would be translated as well as this. most of the times mylene makes liberal changes to translation (which is very often), those changes are like coarse filters that don't let all of the nuance pass through the metaphorical language gap, but this remains perfect while still taking creative liberties
the previous panel has eguchi saying "friend...". and here, it would be reasonable to assume that, before she got interrupted, she was about to say "Am I your friend?" / "Am I not your friend?", so i think it should be "Am I..." and not "I...", since the latter really doesn't tell you anything in english. there's an argument to be made here that it might not be "am i (not) your friend" and could be literally anything else, and therefore "I..." would be the safe option here, what with it being generally preferable not to imply anything that isn't clearly delineated in the original. but i feel like the fact that someone really wouldn't just start a trailing sentence with "I..." in english, and i feel like the odds of it being "am i (not) your friend" are so high, that it's worth taking the gamble. if that makes sense
also, i feel like "Here you go!" would be a better option here than "There we go!". not that it's invalid or anything, but i feel like it improves the flow a bit considering the fact that she is handing a plate of food here; it's easier to make the mental connection considering that what she's referring to (the food) is very close to her physically, hence here > there. and it is a bit misleading that a waitress is saying "there we go", as the "we" implies that the two customers were also a part of preparing/setting the food (which they are not), and "there we go" is being said as a celebration for [the three of them] being done with the task. so "There you go!" would still kinda be better, but "Here you go!" is still ideal in my mind
(けぷ is closer to a "cough" than an "ahh...")
anyway. so is there a reason this "fucking" is here besides just being haha funny swear? please remember that they are in a school setting; it is a bit of a cognitive dissonance to have children say swear words in school, possibly in earshot of a teacher, i.e. possibly in danger of being scolded about why swearing is bad and whatnot. not that i know what the global consensus is on swearing in school, nor do i know what the school culture is like for britons. but the fucking here adds literally nothing for the people who don't think it's a problem to swear in school, yet it WILL be a point of dissonance for those who think it is. all in all it's really not worth adding the fuck here, this really could've just been an "I told you so!" and there would've been no problem
valid liberty taken here! it's a bit too weird to say "How insatiable can you be!?", the word gluttony is a bit too far out of reach of the daily vocabulary in english and there aren't any good options in terms of its synonyms. it's another liberal translation that does its job.
(i could still argue that ikezawa here is actually mislead in the original; that ikezawa mistakenly thinks she has a voracious appetite when in reality she's just stubborn, and translating this literally drops the nuance of ikezawa's stupidity. but i feel like that's grasping at straws, this TL is more than good enough)
this is a very robotic response for a line that's very easily directly translatable as "Just give me a bit of time and I'll be able to eat it." or "I can eat/finish it, just give me a bit of time."
good translation, wonky typesetting. the problem is that the bigger speech bubble somehow has less text than the smaller one. it just looks odd to have the big bubble have less text that's enlarged, meanwhile the small bubble has more text that's shrunk down. the literal tl here is "If you're okay with letting me feed you... / then I'm okay with giving some to you.", and switching the ordering is a valid choice normally because sentence order is wacky in between japanese and english. but still, considering this typesetting crime, i feel like it would've been a valid option to brainstorm with the rest of the mylene team about this part. i feel like the original sentence order is also acceptable here, changing it to that would've been one option to solve the typesetting issue here, for example
amongst is an awfully fancy word for a high school kid. why not just keep this as "Of course I won't let you do something so embarrassing in front of all (of) these people!" or "As if I'd let you do something so embarrassing in front of all (of) these people!"? if you want to be fancy and take translation liberties you can say "with so many eyes around us" or "in a public place like this" or just the small change of "around all these people"; amongst feels a bit too far removed from the daily vocabulary of horny joe
something also doesn't sit right with me about eguchi's "...as long as we're not around anyone?". ikezawa puts the focus on the people around them, saying that they're the reason why he doesn't want to do it (be fed). therefore eguchi's sentence would follow and keep the focus on the people around them (e.g. "...as long as there's no one around?") and not on the two of them themselves ("...as long as we're not around anyone?"). for clarity this is a reading flow issue and not a translation one, the tl is fine. and reading flow is something that these few mylene chapters are desperately lacking. also not sure what those two commas in eguchi's bubble are doing? that first one in particular is making the sentence crawl to a halt for seemingly no reason, when they really could just be excluded. if you want to make her take pauses in between each of those parts of the sentences, maybe replacing the first comma with an ellipsis, showing that she's thinking deeply, and keeping the second comma, would seem a bit more natural? so "So... you're fine with it, as long as there's nobody around?" or "So you're fine with it as long as there's nobody around?"
separation is a bit weird in between these bubbles. it's very unnatural to put the separation in between "the" and the word it's attached to. would be better to separate it as "I'm sure there won't be anyone... / ...at the benches behind the school." would also rather there be an ellipsis at the beginning of the second bubble but that's definitely just grasping at straws at this point
dude... seriously. really?
if (in japanese) eguchi said something closer to the way you talk to a baby to get them to open their mouth, this'd be a good translation. but she doesn't. she just says "Open your mouth." if you're feeling spicy, you can maybe say "Open wide." this is a translation liberty taken for seemingly no reason, doing nothing but grinding down the original nuance and adding new nuance that was not part of the original at all...? very on brand for mylene scans overall. (even then i feel like it'd be more natural to say "Here comes the plane!" since that's how the phrase goes)
tl;dr: Mylene scans take wayy too many creative liberties when translating, which, although they do land well every so often, most of the time they just digest the original meaning and nuance too much, either leaving it unrecognizable or adding completely new meaning/nuance that wasn't even there in the original. these would be acceptable changes to do every so often, but doing so on basically every page changes this manga so much that i feel like this qualifies less like a translation and more like a creative interpretation of the author's work. if you're gonna snipe a manga, please, at least do it well. that's very basic etiquette. these uploads are extremely rushed.
mylene, if you're actually reading this, please understand that i mean no ill will. i genuinely fell in love with this manga from day 1, it really is something special. and it genuinely hurts me to see you put it through this meat grinder, with all the readers who don't understand japanese being none the wiser of what's happening. please, please, PLEASE just delay your uploads by a few hours, preferably a day or two, and have your team rigorously quality check and reconsider every page. ideally get a few more opinions from outside, ask some more people from outside to PR/QC everything, maybe even hire them and have them be a part of the team. i know you have a patreon and you need consistent uploads to rake in that $$$, but i promise you that you will please more people by spending more time on your scanlations than the amount of people you will piss off because the releases are late a day or two
she put more food especially for him and she was uncomfortable being called a classmate while the other one was a friend
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also, a bit of an addendum. on the "pants" thing from the last few chapters.
this manga really deserves so much better man. mylene scans aren't bad by any means, but they're rushed. and the way they translate is full of creative liberties that are a bit too rough and leave behind a bit too much through the language filter...
i get that mylene scans are british and all, but please consider that at least a good chunk of the english speaking world does not know that "pants" means underwear in british. they are used to underwear being underwear, and panties also being underwear but primarily for women. they get confused, and they either have to google it to learn what it means, or remain confused. and having readers google anything for any reason besides "Search this to learn more about this wacky fact!" is generally a crime. keeping it as underwear would've kept it a lot more neutral. i'm not arguing for british erasure, mind you, i'm arguing for clarity considering the general knowledge of global english speakers
also, from what i can find, pants means specifically men's underwear? but... you also had eguchi use it to refer to her underwear, too. ...why? like. "panties" comes from pants, that's the entire deal, it's a more dainty feminine version of the rough male 𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐒. if you're dead set on using 'pants', at least have eguchi use the word 'panties' as well, instead of implying she wears manly boxers?
I think you should ask to join them to be their translator. Your Japanese seems to be very good. And everyone would love to see the correct translation too
this manga really deserves so much better man. mylene scans aren't bad by any means, but they're rushed. and the way they translate is full of creative liberties that are a bit too rough and leave behind a bit too much through the language filter
listen i like the feminization of the western (eastern?) man as much as the next guy, but she did not say ikezawa chan. she said ikezawa jyan, as in "Oh, if it isn't Ikezawa!" or "Oh, (look,) it's Ikezawa!"
the original ends with "kano-(jo)", i.e. girl-(friend). the first text bubble in this screenshot should've ended a bit later and should be interrupted: "That person behind you... Could she be your girlf--"
probably a bit nitpicky here but ikezawa is being smug about it here. like "Heh heh heh. All part of the plan." he's so full of himself it's like almost he's chuuni. whereas in the mylene translation he sounds like a 5th grader filled with nothing but joy
eguchi here recoils, winces back in pain at how awful that name is. it's more of an "ugh", "woah", "urgh". meanwhile the "eh..." doesn't quite convey the same thing, and it almost sounds like she's more sad about it than disgusted, somehow? this might be a personal thing, just for me, though. you're probably okay to discard this paragraph
(putting aside the fact that this should be "ugh" or something similar, as said above) this is definitely very minor but notice how the original ends with a period and the mylene translated ver has both a ?! and a !. being honest here, he's not that enthusiastic about it. he's not rejecting eguchi's "ugh" with all of his heart and soul like his life depends on it, he's just bummed out that eguchi isn't as enthusiastic about it as he thought she'd be, and so he's trying to convince her of his genius. this'd be better translated as something more monotone. "'Ugh...' what? It's (a) genius (idea), admit it." or so
now THIS is what a good translation looks like. it's a liberal translation and yet it perfectly conveys the sort of chummy bickering tone that two long-time friends would have, which is present in the original too (lit: "Alright, don't come crying to me if you destroy your stomach."); that sense of backhanded insults that only two friends who've known each other for a long period would have. it's based on a previous panel, too... chef's kiss. if only the rest of the chapter(s) would be translated as well as this. most of the times mylene makes liberal changes to translation (which is very often), those changes are like coarse filters that don't let all of the nuance pass through the metaphorical language gap, but this remains perfect while still taking creative liberties
the previous panel has eguchi saying "friend...". and here, it would be reasonable to assume that, before she got interrupted, she was about to say "Am I your friend?" / "Am I not your friend?", so i think it should be "Am I..." and not "I...", since the latter really doesn't tell you anything in english. there's an argument to be made here that it might not be "am i (not) your friend" and could be literally anything else, and therefore "I..." would be the safe option here, what with it being generally preferable not to imply anything that isn't clearly delineated in the original. but i feel like the fact that someone really wouldn't just start a trailing sentence with "I..." in english, and i feel like the odds of it being "am i (not) your friend" are so high, that it's worth taking the gamble. if that makes sense
also, i feel like "Here you go!" would be a better option here than "There we go!". not that it's invalid or anything, but i feel like it improves the flow a bit considering the fact that she is handing a plate of food here; it's easier to make the mental connection considering that what she's referring to (the food) is very close to her physically, hence here > there. and it is a bit misleading that a waitress is saying "there we go", as the "we" implies that the two customers were also a part of preparing/setting the food (which they are not), and "there we go" is being said as a celebration for [the three of them] being done with the task. so "There you go!" would still kinda be better, but "Here you go!" is still ideal in my mind
(けぷ is closer to a "cough" than an "ahh...")
anyway. so is there a reason this "fucking" is here besides just being haha funny swear? please remember that they are in a school setting; it is a bit of a cognitive dissonance to have children say swear words in school, possibly in earshot of a teacher, i.e. possibly in danger of being scolded about why swearing is bad and whatnot. not that i know what the global consensus is on swearing in school, nor do i know what the school culture is like for britons. but the fucking here adds literally nothing for the people who don't think it's a problem to swear in school, yet it WILL be a point of dissonance for those who think it is. all in all it's really not worth adding the fuck here, this really could've just been an "I told you so!" and there would've been no problem
valid liberty taken here! it's a bit too weird to say "How insatiable can you be!?", the word gluttony is a bit too far out of reach of the daily vocabulary in english and there aren't any good options in terms of its synonyms. it's another liberal translation that does its job.
(i could still argue that ikezawa here is actually mislead in the original; that ikezawa mistakenly thinks she has a voracious appetite when in reality she's just stubborn, and translating this literally drops the nuance of ikezawa's stupidity. but i feel like that's grasping at straws, this TL is more than good enough)
this is a very robotic response for a line that's very easily directly translatable as "Just give me a bit of time and I'll be able to eat it." or "I can eat/finish it, just give me a bit of time."
good translation, wonky typesetting. the problem is that the bigger speech bubble somehow has less text than the smaller one. it just looks odd to have the big bubble have less text that's enlarged, meanwhile the small bubble has more text that's shrunk down. the literal tl here is "If you're okay with letting me feed you... / then I'm okay with giving some to you.", and switching the ordering is a valid choice normally because sentence order is wacky in between japanese and english. but still, considering this typesetting crime, i feel like it would've been a valid option to brainstorm with the rest of the mylene team about this part. i feel like the original sentence order is also acceptable here, changing it to that would've been one option to solve the typesetting issue here, for example
amongst is an awfully fancy word for a high school kid. why not just keep this as "Of course I won't let you do something so embarrassing in front of all (of) these people!" or "As if I'd let you do something so embarrassing in front of all (of) these people!"? if you want to be fancy and take translation liberties you can say "with so many eyes around us" or "in a public place like this" or just the small change of "around all these people"; amongst feels a bit too far removed from the daily vocabulary of horny joe
something also doesn't sit right with me about eguchi's "...as long as we're not around anyone?". ikezawa puts the focus on the people around them, saying that they're the reason why he doesn't want to do it (be fed). therefore eguchi's sentence would follow and keep the focus on the people around them (e.g. "...as long as there's no one around?") and not on the two of them themselves ("...as long as we're not around anyone?"). for clarity this is a reading flow issue and not a translation one, the tl is fine. and reading flow is something that these few mylene chapters are desperately lacking. also not sure what those two commas in eguchi's bubble are doing? that first one in particular is making the sentence crawl to a halt for seemingly no reason, when they really could just be excluded. if you want to make her take pauses in between each of those parts of the sentences, maybe replacing the first comma with an ellipsis, showing that she's thinking deeply, and keeping the second comma, would seem a bit more natural? so "So... you're fine with it, as long as there's nobody around?" or "So you're fine with it as long as there's nobody around?"
separation is a bit weird in between these bubbles. it's very unnatural to put the separation in between "the" and the word it's attached to. would be better to separate it as "I'm sure there won't be anyone... / ...at the benches behind the school." would also rather there be an ellipsis at the beginning of the second bubble but that's definitely just grasping at straws at this point
dude... seriously. really?
if (in japanese) eguchi said something closer to the way you talk to a baby to get them to open their mouth, this'd be a good translation. but she doesn't. she just says "Open your mouth." if you're feeling spicy, you can maybe say "Open wide." this is a translation liberty taken for seemingly no reason, doing nothing but grinding down the original nuance and adding new nuance that was not part of the original at all...? very on brand for mylene scans overall. (even then i feel like it'd be more natural to say "Here comes the plane!" since that's how the phrase goes)
tl;dr: Mylene scans take wayy too many creative liberties when translating, which, although they do land well every so often, most of the time they just digest the original meaning and nuance too much, either leaving it unrecognizable or adding completely new meaning/nuance that wasn't even there in the original. these would be acceptable changes to do every so often, but doing so on basically every page changes this manga so much that i feel like this qualifies less like a translation and more like a creative interpretation of the author's work. if you're gonna snipe a manga, please, at least do it well. that's very basic etiquette. these uploads are extremely rushed.
mylene, if you're actually reading this, please understand that i mean no ill will. i genuinely fell in love with this manga from day 1, it really is something special. and it genuinely hurts me to see you put it through this meat grinder, with all the readers who don't understand japanese being none the wiser of what's happening. please, please, PLEASE just delay your uploads by a few hours, preferably a day or two, and have your team rigorously quality check and reconsider every page. ideally get a few more opinions from outside, ask some more people from outside to PR/QC everything, maybe even hire them and have them be a part of the team. i know you have a patreon and you need consistent uploads to rake in that $$$, but i promise you that you will please more people by spending more time on your scanlations than the amount of people you will piss off because the releases are late a day or two
Dex-chan lover
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- Apr 13, 2019
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LEWD!
I stopped primovic from putting in a sherlock holmes reference so you should be glad
Honestly about the whole british translation - we held our ground on this one because it's just how we wanted to go with it, but going forwards taking into consideration what people can and cannot understand is currently in my best interest
this manga really deserves so much better man. mylene scans aren't bad by any means, but they're rushed. and the way they translate is full of creative liberties that are a bit too rough and leave behind a bit too much through the language filter
listen i like the feminization of the western (eastern?) man as much as the next guy, but she did not say ikezawa chan. she said ikezawa jyan, as in "Oh, if it isn't Ikezawa!" or "Oh, (look,) it's Ikezawa!"
the original ends with "kano-(jo)", i.e. girl-(friend). the first text bubble in this screenshot should've ended a bit later and should be interrupted: "That person behind you... Could she be your girlf--"
probably a bit nitpicky here but ikezawa is being smug about it here. like "Heh heh heh. All part of the plan." he's so full of himself it's like almost he's chuuni. whereas in the mylene translation he sounds like a 5th grader filled with nothing but joy
eguchi here recoils, winces back in pain at how awful that name is. it's more of an "ugh", "woah", "urgh". meanwhile the "eh..." doesn't quite convey the same thing, and it almost sounds like she's more sad about it than disgusted, somehow? this might be a personal thing, just for me, though. you're probably okay to discard this paragraph
(putting aside the fact that this should be "ugh" or something similar, as said above) this is definitely very minor but notice how the original ends with a period and the mylene translated ver has both a ?! and a !. being honest here, he's not that enthusiastic about it. he's not rejecting eguchi's "ugh" with all of his heart and soul like his life depends on it, he's just bummed out that eguchi isn't as enthusiastic about it as he thought she'd be, and so he's trying to convince her of his genius. this'd be better translated as something more monotone. "'Ugh...' what? It's (a) genius (idea), admit it." or so
now THIS is what a good translation looks like. it's a liberal translation and yet it perfectly conveys the sort of chummy bickering tone that two long-time friends would have, which is present in the original too (lit: "Alright, don't come crying to me if you destroy your stomach."); that sense of backhanded insults that only two friends who've known each other for a long period would have. it's based on a previous panel, too... chef's kiss. if only the rest of the chapter(s) would be translated as well as this. most of the times mylene makes liberal changes to translation (which is very often), those changes are like coarse filters that don't let all of the nuance pass through the metaphorical language gap, but this remains perfect while still taking creative liberties
the previous panel has eguchi saying "friend...". and here, it would be reasonable to assume that, before she got interrupted, she was about to say "Am I your friend?" / "Am I not your friend?", so i think it should be "Am I..." and not "I...", since the latter really doesn't tell you anything in english. there's an argument to be made here that it might not be "am i (not) your friend" and could be literally anything else, and therefore "I..." would be the safe option here, what with it being generally preferable not to imply anything that isn't clearly delineated in the original. but i feel like the fact that someone really wouldn't just start a trailing sentence with "I..." in english, and i feel like the odds of it being "am i (not) your friend" are so high, that it's worth taking the gamble. if that makes sense
also, i feel like "Here you go!" would be a better option here than "There we go!". not that it's invalid or anything, but i feel like it improves the flow a bit considering the fact that she is handing a plate of food here; it's easier to make the mental connection considering that what she's referring to (the food) is very close to her physically, hence here > there. and it is a bit misleading that a waitress is saying "there we go", as the "we" implies that the two customers were also a part of preparing/setting the food (which they are not), and "there we go" is being said as a celebration for [the three of them] being done with the task. so "There you go!" would still kinda be better, but "Here you go!" is still ideal in my mind
(けぷ is closer to a "cough" than an "ahh...")
anyway. so is there a reason this "fucking" is here besides just being haha funny swear? please remember that they are in a school setting; it is a bit of a cognitive dissonance to have children say swear words in school, possibly in earshot of a teacher, i.e. possibly in danger of being scolded about why swearing is bad and whatnot. not that i know what the global consensus is on swearing in school, nor do i know what the school culture is like for britons. but the fucking here adds literally nothing for the people who don't think it's a problem to swear in school, yet it WILL be a point of dissonance for those who think it is. all in all it's really not worth adding the fuck here, this really could've just been an "I told you so!" and there would've been no problem
valid liberty taken here! it's a bit too weird to say "How insatiable can you be!?", the word gluttony is a bit too far out of reach of the daily vocabulary in english and there aren't any good options in terms of its synonyms. it's another liberal translation that does its job.
(i could still argue that ikezawa here is actually mislead in the original; that ikezawa mistakenly thinks she has a voracious appetite when in reality she's just stubborn, and translating this literally drops the nuance of ikezawa's stupidity. but i feel like that's grasping at straws, this TL is more than good enough)
this is a very robotic response for a line that's very easily directly translatable as "Just give me a bit of time and I'll be able to eat it." or "I can eat/finish it, just give me a bit of time."
good translation, wonky typesetting. the problem is that the bigger speech bubble somehow has less text than the smaller one. it just looks odd to have the big bubble have less text that's enlarged, meanwhile the small bubble has more text that's shrunk down. the literal tl here is "If you're okay with letting me feed you... / then I'm okay with giving some to you.", and switching the ordering is a valid choice normally because sentence order is wacky in between japanese and english. but still, considering this typesetting crime, i feel like it would've been a valid option to brainstorm with the rest of the mylene team about this part. i feel like the original sentence order is also acceptable here, changing it to that would've been one option to solve the typesetting issue here, for example
amongst is an awfully fancy word for a high school kid. why not just keep this as "Of course I won't let you do something so embarrassing in front of all (of) these people!" or "As if I'd let you do something so embarrassing in front of all (of) these people!"? if you want to be fancy and take translation liberties you can say "with so many eyes around us" or "in a public place like this" or just the small change of "around all these people"; amongst feels a bit too far removed from the daily vocabulary of horny joe
something also doesn't sit right with me about eguchi's "...as long as we're not around anyone?". ikezawa puts the focus on the people around them, saying that they're the reason why he doesn't want to do it (be fed). therefore eguchi's sentence would follow and keep the focus on the people around them (e.g. "...as long as there's no one around?") and not on the two of them themselves ("...as long as we're not around anyone?"). for clarity this is a reading flow issue and not a translation one, the tl is fine. and reading flow is something that these few mylene chapters are desperately lacking. also not sure what those two commas in eguchi's bubble are doing? that first one in particular is making the sentence crawl to a halt for seemingly no reason, when they really could just be excluded. if you want to make her take pauses in between each of those parts of the sentences, maybe replacing the first comma with an ellipsis, showing that she's thinking deeply, and keeping the second comma, would seem a bit more natural? so "So... you're fine with it, as long as there's nobody around?" or "So you're fine with it as long as there's nobody around?"
separation is a bit weird in between these bubbles. it's very unnatural to put the separation in between "the" and the word it's attached to. would be better to separate it as "I'm sure there won't be anyone... / ...at the benches behind the school." would also rather there be an ellipsis at the beginning of the second bubble but that's definitely just grasping at straws at this point
dude... seriously. really?
if (in japanese) eguchi said something closer to the way you talk to a baby to get them to open their mouth, this'd be a good translation. but she doesn't. she just says "Open your mouth." if you're feeling spicy, you can maybe say "Open wide." this is a translation liberty taken for seemingly no reason, doing nothing but grinding down the original nuance and adding new nuance that was not part of the original at all...? very on brand for mylene scans overall. (even then i feel like it'd be more natural to say "Here comes the plane!" since that's how the phrase goes)
tl;dr: Mylene scans take wayy too many creative liberties when translating, which, although they do land well every so often, most of the time they just digest the original meaning and nuance too much, either leaving it unrecognizable or adding completely new meaning/nuance that wasn't even there in the original. these would be acceptable changes to do every so often, but doing so on basically every page changes this manga so much that i feel like this qualifies less like a translation and more like a creative interpretation of the author's work. if you're gonna snipe a manga, please, at least do it well. that's very basic etiquette. these uploads are extremely rushed.
mylene, if you're actually reading this, please understand that i mean no ill will. i genuinely fell in love with this manga from day 1, it really is something special. and it genuinely hurts me to see you put it through this meat grinder, with all the readers who don't understand japanese being none the wiser of what's happening. please, please, PLEASE just delay your uploads by a few hours, preferably a day or two, and have your team rigorously quality check and reconsider every page. ideally get a few more opinions from outside, ask some more people from outside to PR/QC everything, maybe even hire them and have them be a part of the team. i know you have a patreon and you need consistent uploads to rake in that $$$, but i promise you that you will please more people by spending more time on your scanlations than the amount of people you will piss off because the releases are late a day or two
I don't do any of the actual translation so I'm not going to put out an actual response to anything alhtough I have read it. However, and most importantly, THANK YOU for providing your take on where mylene scans is actually going wrong and I greatly appreiciate the constructive criticism for a change
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