Unconventional ways to survive a zombie apocalypse

[Teddy]

Ummmm so there isn't a zombie apocalypse right now, and the workplace I'm at is definitely not handling anything that may spark a zombie apocalypse but...
There always has been many smart breakdowns to survive a Z-word hostile revolution.
What are your dumbest tips that have a 1% chance of working?

Eg.

Wear a mascot costume: Thick padding, zombies might not even be able to detect you, and any survivors or military reconnaissance will definitely spot you especially if you paint the Mascot with SOS. Unfortunately you'll have to get used to soaring temperatures, waddling and a lack of opposable thumbs.

Wear bubble soccer suit: Enjoy zombie powered mobility; ride the waves as the zombie rush you through the clear plastic. Unfortunately you don't get to choose a direction and you'll probably feel like getting wrung with a clothes washer.

Loud Music: After scouring a building for supplies; turn on a loud speaker with timed socket adaptors or wifi controlled stereo. It'll help reduce the hive minded individuals from distracting your daily errands. Other survivors will also know a place has been ransacked and won't approach that building. If you don't have electricity or internet anymore; just get a bunch of wind chimes from the dollar shop for a lesser effect.

Go to Zoo: Strong bars, plentiful food, plenty of friends that you can let out when they are needed, extensive medical supplies, not a first choice place for survivors to ransack. Also good testing grounds for whether other animals can be zombified too/ do zombies care for infecting other animals.

Edit: I do confess, I just want some dumbass story about a cute zoo mascot; having no problems scavengering and chilling with his animals friends whilst keeping the place running. Til some randos find him and ask him for help for yada yada reason and the mascot guy just solves every problem (gardening, local gangs, birthday parties etc) with a goofy ass mascot face

 

[Richman]

In my case, I could go to a zoo. Thankfully it has a big ass landmark in the form of a giant stela that you can climb to the top, so any helicopters could come and save me.

 

[Teddy]

Imagine raising death flags by saying something cool then staying behind or acting as a decoy; only to escape from a horde of zombies by riding a wave of them in a bubble soccer suit til they all push you into a river and drown themselves as you roll yourself slowly to the other side of the river

 

[EOTFOFYL]

Blades can become dull,
bullets are not infinite,
better grab a big stick.

 

[YumGumYum]

just become a zombie (?)

 

[Richman]

@YumGumYum
Unfortunately I'm not a girl so I can't become a cute undead waifu.

 

[YumGumYum]

Unfortunately I'm not a girl so I can't become a cute undead waifu.

@Richman who knows, mb a virus (?) will turn you into one

 

[Halo]

I'm barely finding any motivation to live as it is.
Instead, I'd probably look for an interesting way to kill myself without getting infected, who knows if zombies are truly dead.

 

[EOTFOFYL]

who knows, mb a virus (?) will turn you into one

I once read such a
doujinshi with such a plot....
What am I doing?....

 

[IdanaHamz]

Halo that reminds me of that parasitic pulsating larva inside a certain species of snail

What if that happen to humans too? Parasitic larvae living inside our eyeballs, pulsating as they grow bigger and bigger. At maturity, they move towards the next host by bursting out of the eyeball. But not that simple. They try to pull the eyes out of their socket, so the host human would feel great pain if they don't agree to move towards the intended direction. If the human tries to go against, they will bring the eyeballs with them, walking down the face and shoulders still with the eyeball intact. The tissues extending from the eye to the socket is not going to break easily, as they have already excreted special chemicals to strengthen the cords and enable the cells' ability to multiply rapidly.

 

[Richman]

@YumGumYum
Yuri genderbender zombieland? Hmmm. I think I'll pass, I'd prefer to get reborn as a girl in my next life.

 

[EOTFOFYL]

@IdanaHamz

https://mangadex.org/chapter/57640/28

Edit:
Kinda funny how
your edit fits this picture
rather perfectly.

 

[YumGumYum]

@Richman Goblin Slayer's world ? (isekai-reincarnation)

 

[Richman]

@YumGumYum
Hmm, no I think I prefer the modern world.

 

[immortalartisan]

Walk out into the wild with a wood genrotaer a pick and a hatchet and start turning an entire state into a god damn hell scape of traps only navigable by those with a brain. It’s how I survived constant zombies in rim world. Fill the map with obvious traps that can only be passed by people and just wait as you research the tech to leave the planet

 

[KindaSmartguy]

Do it Chinese Manhua style, summon the peerless seven swords of the chaotic God

Then get bitten and die believing in stupid shit

 

[Ari2142]

Just do what mob supposed to, become a zombie.
It's not like you instantly become a main character anyway.

 

[Greenfrost]

Dress up like a zombie and make groaning noises, "Shaun of the Dead" style.

 

[YumGumYum]

I'd prefer to get reborn as a girl in my next life

@Richman why a girl ?

 

[wowfucktron]

How to survive a zombie apocalypse?

By marrying a zombiegirl obviously!

>imagine the smell