Dame Ningen no Aishikata - Vol. 6 Ch. 29 - The Girl Before She Met the Loser

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Honestly, I don't think Hizumi not being a virgin is an chronic issue. Obviously, it would be better if both could share their first time with each other, as there's nothing more romantic than sharing that with the person you love and wants to stay till the end of your lives. Unfortunately, she had a bad upbringing. Her parents clearly didn't give her advice on how to handle a romantic relationship. Even so, she's only had one boyfriend, so it's not like she's a promiscuous slut. In a way, she did the best she could with her limited knowledge, but unfortunately, she was cheated on and had to move on.

My problem is, first, the slightly cuckolded way the author portrayed her on top of her ex in an ecchi pose while we, the readers, are rooting for the simp Shinba. Second, it's what she became after being NTRd and how she interacts with Shinba. She humiliates him constantly and then gives him crumbs of affection through this possessive relationship. Let's be honest and recap the context: At first, she used him as nothing more than a rebound to replace her ex or need for love. Shinba is just a copy she designed to substitute her ex, a version 2.0 where she learned the bugs and fixed them. He definitely doesn't deserve this treatment.

Look, I think Hizumi absolutely deserves to be happy, and her parents were horrible, but I don't think she deserves Shinba, mostly because of who he is. He's too good of a guy!
Man, even with the scarf, she knitted one by hand for her ex, but for Shinba, she just recycled the same idea lazily by buying one. Shinba deserves someone better without a doubt. Hizumi can move on and fix her mistakes, but I think Shinba would be a thousand times better off with his actress childhood friend. Hizumi doesn't need a man, she needs a therapist. After that stage, she can try a >>NEW<< relationship. But we all know that won't happen. Shinba will still be an idiot until the very end and will accept all her flaws like the simp he is, after all, this work is pure self-insert from the author.

Authors know you put yourself in the shoes of the protagonist (Shinba). All the provocative scenes where Hizumi humiliates herself for her ex are meant to make you uncomfortable, just like Berserk and the infamous Eclipse scene did for example. Here, it’s no different. The author >pseudo-cuckolded< this story by showing her intimate scene with her ex. I really miss when this manga was lighter. The drama has become WAAAAY too over-the-top, and the ending won't be satisfying in my opinion... it's actually pretty predictable.

I don't like reading romcoms with overly exaggerated dramas, mainly because of the abrupt shifts in tone between 'comedy' with chibi faces, and heavy 'dramatic' chapters like this one. The script structure becomes a Frankenstein's monster in my opinion...

That being said, I'll go back to my peak romcom BokuYaba now.
I don't really read comments, but this time I did and ooh boy what a FUCKING ride, but this, this one did something to me.

Overall talk about her not being a virgin, what are people are on about? WDYM PEOPLE FUCK? WDYM THAT A GIRL IN HER 20S CAN HAVE A BF BEFORE ME WHAT IS THIS/??/1?!?!
And then talking about some self-insert, does that mean that author want you to self-insert yourself as a guy who has a relationship with a girl that HAD SOMEONE BEFORE YOU? HOW COULD HE...

Anyway, to the more structured things.

the slightly cuckolded way, rebound to replace, doesn't deserve this treatment
Well, yeah, he doesn't deserve this treatment but, if you actually read the manga you would see from the start that this is a manga about two humans who are fucked up but one of them actually more noticeably fucked in the head, hence, this chapter
Also, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH NTR AND CUCKOLDRY. Like, author portrayed her in ecchi pose, well, okay? Personaly i was thinking of how disturbing her thoughts were at that moment, NOT THAT SOMEONE IS A CUCK OR LEARNING THAT YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING THROUGH THE DOOR IS NTR.

Too good of a guy, Doesn't deserve him, pure self-insert
I don't think you know what a real self-insert looks like. Usually it doesn't cover things that are covers in this and chapters before it.
Literally you as a reader understand that Shinba is TOO GOOD OF A GUY, but can you say why you think so?
You say she needs a therapist and Shinba will be an idiot like a simp - How can you make that conclusion after reading characters backstory and learning that Shinba still thrives somewhere in between her past experiences?
And yeah, she need therapy but it's a story, so you will read a story where people learn from their past and look at the present.
I wish this was a self-insert manga, where i can self-insert as a guy who helps someone find a place to belong and grow along with them.

What you do even mean by pseudo-cuckolded?
Some things are created for you to feel discomfort like the scene where she's clinging to her ex, but guess your peak of discomfort is being a cuck?

There is no over the top drama, literally just a dramatic past and a story of 2 people who find a place to belong while figuring out how to even live with each other. Espeacially one of them.
This was never a chibi comedy, like from when it wasn't even serialized you could sniff that something is wrong with her and that shit's deep.
You can't even digest a work that requiers you to not project yourself onto the MC of the story or else you'll feel cucked lmao.

That being said, calling BokuYaba a peak romcom is a, statement for sure.
Joking about Lindsay Clancy case after that, doesn't paint you as a sane person.
And then some people wonder about why no one talks with them. Damn.
 
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This was never a chibi comedy, like from when it wasn't even serialized you could sniff that something is wrong with her and that shit's deep.

And with Shinba. Knot in the throat when Shinba's backstory was shown. No wonder he is like that. Seeing that tragedy and going "this makes me feel slightly cucked" is peak.... I can't even...
 
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Re-reading the first chapters hits so differently... This is really a Tragedy, not a RomCom.
 
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It’s just one panel that doesn’t confirm anything per se. Hizumi has also been sexually propositioned to Shinba sometimes as a form of manipulation, knowing he will reject her.
It’s strongly likely. For someone as traumatized as her, willing to do “anything” to ensure they won’t act beyond their role is a sadly understandable yet compromising move. It’s like the quote “everything is about sex, except sex, sex is about power”. Sadly she sacrificed something that was only a temporary cover to the real problem, people change and you can only adapt to it not control it. Don’t want to say it was in vain but it was considering the real issue was her trying everything to not repeat her trauma but instead ensured it by not learning to let go early on.
 
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Chapter 30 is out.


Hizumi's mom forces Shinba to break up with Hizumi. Chapter ends with Shinba and Hizumi facing each other. Welp that settles it...
 
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Chapter 30 is out.


Hizumi's mom forces Shinba to break up with Hizumi. Chapter ends with Shinba and Hizumi facing each other. Welp that settles it...

Two chapters left, surely happy ending is still coming
 
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It’s strongly likely. For someone as traumatized as her, willing to do “anything” to ensure they won’t act beyond their role is a sadly understandable yet compromising move. It’s like the quote “everything is about sex, except sex, sex is about power”. Sadly she sacrificed something that was only a temporary cover to the real problem, people change and you can only adapt to it not control it. Don’t want to say it was in vain but it was considering the real issue was her trying everything to not repeat her trauma but instead ensured it by not learning to let go early on.
It’s actually ambiguous, to be honest. If you look at Chapter 16.5, we see an EXACTLY SIMILAR situation but with Shinba, where they just kiss passionately while she’s in lingerie.
 
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It’s actually ambiguous, to be honest. If you look at Chapter 16.5, we see an EXACTLY SIMILAR situation but with Shinba, where they just kiss passionately while she’s in lingerie.
It’s a fair assessment and I would suffice to hope that is the case, I’m just under the impression that her experience would make sense more as much more of a painful sense of betrayal if she gave her everything and still left her. I think that would make her current one more meaningful because Shinba didn’t take advantage or want more other then pure affection.
 
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Two things 1, so sad the series is ending in 3 chapters apparently, 2nd THE DUDE DID THE HANKY PANKY WITH HIZUMI AND THEN SAID "naww pussy wasn't good enough, give me some random hoe" crazy shit bro wild shit man, dude really raw dogged then left LMAOO
 
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I genuinely don't know who i disliked the most between Hizumi's parents

Both of them just letting their marriage desintegrate because their "I don't want to be a bother" attitude, mixed with them committing to their work because they couldn't reach an understanding about "who needs to sacrify their careers once in a while to actually spend time with their family"
His father genuinely thinking "I deserve better" and eventually falling out of love with BOTH his wife and daughter and leaving them (dude, at least try to stay in touch with your daughter)
While her mother Izami had this kinda toxic attitude of wanting him to just be a "stay-at-home" husband while she build life for all of them, taking her family for granted; and by the time her husband left she had the nerv of blaming her own daughter for pushing her husband away

Funny enough, Izami went though the typical "1990s - 2000s sitcom / movie father" character arc. Usually there the hardworking head of a family husband spending so much time building a future for him and his family that, by the time he is ready to pay attention to his wife and children (when he has a successful business, and is basically retired with all the money and time in the world to spare); they already left him (either the wife took the kids, or the children grew up without a father and left and the wife left on her own)

And hizumi's first boyfriend was really an ungrateful scum. She loved him unconditionally and gave him more than he deserved and he has the nerve cheating on her?
 
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I mean, both of them are wrong... But his wife really did neglect the shit out of him, so I can understand why he started getting more involved with people who actually seemed interested in what he had to say, especially when his own wife clearly didn't care much about those things.

But at the same time... he became a fucking horrible person. Both of them are awful for neglecting their daughter and for what they did later. Both. But her father, dude... I wanted to punch the shit out of that asshole. Like, she was nothing to him? SERIOUSLY? I can somewhat understand him being bitter toward his wife, but his own daughter? Nah. I really hope he got fucked over.

And her mother projecting the shit out of her own failures onto her own daughter is also absurd. She has absolutely no right to act like she's somehow above all this and in the right. Control narcisistic freak.

Thanks for the translation and for the final notes! <3
I get the husband wanting to spend more time with people who appreciated him while his wife just ignored and and (at best) had this mentality of "i will make a succesful business for my family so by the time i am done, hizumi can take charge and me and my husband can spend our retirement together";
BUT BOY he really neglected Hizumi once he became famous
You would think he would try to involve her more in his life, after all she was the one who gave him the push to pursue his dream but BOY he really didn't even try

And yeah, those final notes were so good. it helps refresh stuff
 
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Yeah, this confirms what we were all thinking; the mom is an absolute piece of shit for trying to put the blame on Hizumi. Both the parents were ass in the end, and left Hizumi with a shit sandwich called trauma that's clearly damaged all her relationships (with her friend and future romances). Living alone was unfortunately the best choice the end. Dear God. The days of one page Twitter girlfriend posts are so far away. The author has really made such a great romance Manga. One of the greats that START with them dating and has a lot of conflict and growth through overcoming conflict as well as existing layers and meanings. It's been clear from the start that Hizumi is carrying her own pain. This chapter sucked, but being able to see that was great. I had assumed it was an ex (and it kinda was), but the fact that the breakdown of her family caused her to be a kinda toxic overbearing & apologetic girlfriend is a lot more impactful. It's honestly not that unreasonable to want to break up with someone like that. People don't want to be with someone overly controlling and who actively tells them to not grow as a person. Even as of this Manga, IRL it wouldn't be unexpected to break up with someone that constantly called you a loser and struggled with your success. But Shinba has continued to remain by Hizumi's side, noticed her feelings for him, and tried to improve in a way that focuses on her in his life. And to her credit Hizumi hasn't made the mistakes her mother did and completely pushed him away or worse. Though of course it also helps that Shinba's boss is her bestie and Hizumi has now successfully tamed the actress Shinba might've had an affair with. So that's good.

On to the parents, yeah, I knew where that was going instantly. Granted it was a flashback so we all knew how it ended. It really reminded me of something that has been added to the Fantastic Four (main universe Marvel comics) origin: Sue told Ben & Johnny they had to go with Reed after the other pilots dropped out because she thought if Reed went alone then he wouldn't come back (to his friends & family). Izami let the dad step into a whole new world by himself, and that world in particular was one that eats men with insecurities alive and spit them back out as mustache twirling monocle wearing Disney villians. Again when push comes to shove, no one wants to be with someone that openly calls them a loser and wants them NOT to succeed in life and to always be at a lower stature than them waiting at home. That's not a romantic partner. And when someone in that situation steps into another world where they feel like they're a success then no they aren't coming back home where they feel like a failure. Actually the FF isn't that great of ah example because Reed was loved and respected by his family from their start. Izami was objectively a horrible partner. Maybe she did love him in her own way, but she didn't support or even really communicate with him. She certainly didn't act like respect was in the relationship. That said the father is objectively a horrible person as well for not acknowledging that Hizumi 100% did love & respect him. He left her on the side of the road like roadkill. It was only because of Hizumi's support that the dad was even able to find success. She shouldn't have been punished for that. Divorce doesn't mean abandoning your children. It means ending a bad relationship in the hopes that both parties can move forward. The dad could have left Izami, felt bitter toward Izami for not supporting him, and still been present in Hizumi's life and loving toward her. Could isn't the word there. Should. Even having an affair doesn't mean you have to abandon your daughter. Really that's not how you handle being an adult. It sounds like he took the first chance to be an irresponsible asshole that psychologically abuses others. The turnaround is almost comical.

Anyway, the unexpected victor of this chapter for me is Miyabi. It makes her relationship with Hizumi and Shinba the cutest. Hizumi tamed the actress Shinba could've had an affair with. That's awesome. I also can't help but wonder how angry Miyabi would get if Hizumi told her her story. Miyabi probably has a way to contact & meet the Dad too. Oh man, three chapters. No matter what I'm going to be so sad it's over and have to re read the whole series.
A better example for the fantastic four comparison would be in jonathan hickman's fantastic four run
where in the first story arc, reed richardS / mr. fantastic meets the council of reeds, alternate veersions of him who ended up improving their worlds after their pursed science and discovery, BUT at the expense of cutitng their friends, families and loved ones entirely.
Reed choosing his family over "his career" at the end, and deciding to be a better friend (to johnny storm/the human torch and ben grimm / the thing), husband (to susan storm/invisible woman) and father (to franklin and valeria), actually trying to be with them

one stand out issue would be issue 605, where reed sees that ben will die of old age, VERY slowly, and only die THOUSANDS of years into the future WAY long after he, sue and johnny and valeria die of old age (his only family present being franklin). After seeing that and returning home, he decides to just hang out with him, and sit next to him and watch football (ben of course has no idea of what reed saw, and while he insist he won't change the channel, he, with eyes glued to the game, just says he is glad reed is back)
 
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wait, it is nearly ended?
but other comments said we had like 10 chapters more before the ending
Did you even read the last page made by the translator? It's literally there with a ss from the authors tweet about it ending...
 
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And with Shinba. Knot in the throat when Shinba's backstory was shown. No wonder he is like that. Seeing that tragedy and going "this makes me feel slightly cucked" is peak.... I can't even...
the original X-Twitter single images now feel like an alternate universe
sure we don't see shinba's and hizumi's backstories there (and miyabi and orochi and suseri don't exist there) but it kinda feels like something like that happened there

That their relationship there kinda works despite the extra baggage
 

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