Choose Your Own Adventure: Professional Hitwoman

[PantsMan]

A) "Sure! I love kids!"

Spoiler

The office lady's demeanor brightens a little, despite your professed enthusiasm for minors. "In that case, you should receive all the necessary documents and information on the girl and next job tonight, through your middle man." Bowing curtly, the woman wordlessly returns to her table. Your cue to leave.

Ten minutes later, you and your newly acquired ward are walking down the street from the restaurant. It took a bit of effort to get the girl to leave on her own without arousing too much suspicion, but you somehow managed to slip out without much notice during the lunch hour rush. Even now she still occasionally totters under the effects of the sleeping drug, gripping onto the bottom hem of your shirt for support.

Finally, just as she seems to be on the verge of collapsing, she weakly speaks up for the first time. "Excuse me... Where are we going?" A soft, unexpectedly gentle voice, despite the fact she can barely stand upright now. Nothing like what you heard on the phone yesterday. Deep down, you can't help but wonder if you would have gone ahead with the job and killed her, had she spoken in the restaurant. Then again, perhaps she might have been aware of that herself.

As to where you were planning on going, you were honestly just thinking of heading straight home...

A) "You know those big houses you see in samurai movies? I live in somewhere like that."
B) "I have a pretty decent apartment downtown, not far from here. It's bigger than you might think."
C) Point at the large, windowless van parked at the end of the street.
D) Does it matter? You're renting enough disposable one-room flats across town as safehouses that you could pick any direction and probably end up in front of one.
E) "The safest place I know: my parents' house."

 

[krossite]

...I REALLY want to take the little girl to the van, follow closely by parent's house, but let's be a professional like this CYOA's name and pick something more Hitwoman & Hitlittlegirl like:

D) Does it matter? You're renting enough disposable one-room flats across town as safehouses that you could pick any direction and probably end up in front of one.

 

[pseudosmug]

I'm just gonna agree with krossite:
D) Does it matter? You're renting enough disposable one-room flats across town as safehouses that you could pick any direction and probably end up in front of one.

 

[BlackGeneral]

D. We don't want her to know how messy our house is.
We have to maintain the illusion of the perfect hitwoman.

 

[Teddy]

D)

But can we do an extra side story for E?

 

[PantsMan]

Hey, if you wanted to be an assassin who still gets her mom to cook her meals for her so badly, you should have committed to it!

 

[PantsMan]

D) Does it matter? You're renting enough disposable one-room flats across town as safehouses that you could pick any direction and probably end up in front of one.

Spoiler

********

You stop at the top of the stairs to the second floor of the run-down rental apartment block, waiting for your smaller companion to not-so-figuratively drag herself up to the landing. The landlord, an old woman whose face alone does a severe disservice to her fashionable, blonde-tinted hair, glares at you suspiciously from her office window, across the tiny parking lot that has been alloted to tenants. You barely remember when you first started renting this place out, or for how long. All these safehouses of yours tend to look identical in your mind, and the landlords are no exception. You could say the only things that change between them are the keyholes and locations.

You approach the furthest door, pulling out one of several, thick sets of keyrings. After a bit of flicking through the various, cryptically numbered keys, you eventually manage to unlock the door. The little girl, still bravely powering through as best as she can, lurches a few steps in, only to collapse in the entryway. The cloud of dust lifted from the impact makes you cough: not many jobs Downtown recently, by the looks of it. Stepping over the unconscious body, you make your way into the main room to unroll the cheap futon stored within, more out of regard for the expensive-looking yukata than the girl herself.

Once the "drugged child in your doorway" issue has been appropriately resolved, you proceed to go through your apartment's inventory, or whatever might be left of it: the resupply stash of smoke bombs and sleep drug vials you squirelled away behind the washing machine is still untouched, as is the handgun and small collection of poisons tucked under the loose floorboard. The trolley containing the suit, dress and a thought-out variety of casual clothes made to fit any number of roles is right where you first set it. Same as any other safehouse, in that regard. Food-wise, there's little more than an unopened 10 kg bag of rice, but what's the point of having a city with three convenience stores at every street corner if you don't use them, huh?

Your phones are still quiet, meaning you probably have some time before your new patrons send any hit details down your way.

A) [Write-in]
B) Fuck it. It might be noon, but you're still gonna try and get some well-earned sleep until those messages get through

 

[krossite]

A) Shopping time : foods, clothes that doesn't obivously looks expensive for drugged girl on futon, and some more of those sleep drugs/components if we can.

 

[Orio]

A) You know what the loli needs? A kid-friendly assassination kit at kills R us. Or, barring that, through whatever channel you get your weapons through. Or maybe even something silly like one of those prank flowers that spray water at a 99 cent store- could be useful for poisons. Probably better than handing her the pistol and telling her "knock yourself out kiddo".
You could test our her craftiness by just giving her some seemingly useless toys/tools to work with (or take her to the store when she's awake) and have her figure out herself how to use them to kill. (teddy bear, jump rope, marbles etc.) That way you could simultaneously teach her and test her while hardly needing to put in work yourself. Easiest job ever!

 

[Teddy]

A) Heavy work clothes, so you can slip a listening bug/gps tracker between the fibers. (Cause apparently cuffing sleeping girls with a gps/bug collar or injecting a tracker into them is a big no no in some countries of the world). Jokes aside, daily necessities aside (blanket, floss, ice cream); buy her an accessory: 1. For good will, 2. That object will be item she'll suspect to have the bug.

Food wise; Remember to buy almond sweets and chilli infused curry.

You will probs also need to call "Dad" to find an extra hand. Money's good paying this time around; you can afford to spare some. A good talker will probs be good at taking care of kids (extracting some info in the process) or know how to infiltrate with one, besides its a good way to increase street credibility among the community.

 

[BlackGeneral]

Don't forget to buy a Bear Pajamas for the girl.

 

[PantsMan]

Spoiler

You don't like the idea of leaving the kid alone inside the house, but she's not going to be waking up anytime soon and there's no getting around it: you're due a good round of shopping.

******

A few hours later, you are at the check-out counter of the nearest department store. In your hand, a shopping basket with a few boxes of curry powder, meat, vegs and sweets, as well as a few cheap, kid-sized t-shirts, 100¥ underwear, a baseball cap and a thick set of pants. Slung over your shoulder is a small bag with enough prescription medicine to run a small clinic, collected from various pharmacies on the way here. If a normal person were to see them all in one place, they'd probably raise an eyebrow or two. As far as your medical documents are concerned, though, you are approximately 70 old ladies and housewives, each with their own set of severe physical and mental illnesses, so all perfectly in order as far as that's concerned. While these will do for now, it's a lot harder to get your hands on anything less "clean", though, and your alternative suppliers can take quite a while (and a fat paycheck) to procure some of your more exceptional tools.

As you consider whether it might be time to get in touch with the latter for a resupply, you notice the family in line in front of you. The husband, a man approaching his wit's end, is trying to keep the three excitable boys around him from scurrying off back into the store's aisles. The wife, a tall and mature, bespectacled woman, seems to instead be taking an unhealthy amount of interest in you. After a while, she gives you a small wink, and a mischievous smile befitting a far younger girl.

"Oh, dad, do you and the kids mind going on ahead without me? There's an old Uni friend here I'd like to catch up with! 'Kaythanksbye!" Grabbing your arm, the woman leads you away from the queue and back into the aisles, leaving the befuddled father and little devils behind.

"Kyaaa!" squeals the woman excitably, pressing herself against your arm. "He must think you're my lover or something, with how fast we ran off! What if he mans up and comes after us?"
"Yeah, 'what if'. I hope this kind of running off isn't something that happens often, or you're likely due a divorce soon." you reply, unamused.
"Oh, I doubt it." she chirps, oozing smug self-satisfaction. "Takashi is a good man who knows not to step in what doesn't concern him. Part of why I fell for him, after all."
"How much do they know?" you cut short, still serious as ever.
"Only as much as they need to, Eiko dear. I got clients and a reputation to protect, you know?" 'Dad', one of the most famous and talented middle-men in your business, housewife, wannabe schoolgirl and now apparently mother of three, flashes you another mischievous grin.

"Anyway, that's enough about my family, so why don't you tell me about yours?" 'Dad' pulls out one of the small shirts from your basket, giving you a sly look, before mockingly placing the back of her hand on her forehead. "Oh, when I think of that poor child, no doubt raised in some horrible, factory-line conditions by whatever big shot is now your boss, my heart breaks! Snapitty-snap!  And to think that, now that she's finally outside their clutches, she's already being forced to wear nothing more than these cheap rags? For shame, for shame!"
"What are you planning? And for how much longer is it going to take?" You feel your eyes narrow; you were hoping to be back home before the girl woke up, but you're getting the feeling you're about to be roped into something for a lot more time-consuming.
"Oh, cut that gruff act out. Consider it a gift to comemmorate our new little golden goose!"

********

A bear-looking onesie is quickly dropped into what has now become your third shopping basket. "Oh my goooosh! Don't you think that's just the most precious thing!" squeals your trusted broker, clearly having more fun at this than you are. It hasn't been too long, all things considered, but the cute clothes and toys have been steadily accumulating.

"Hey, 'Dad'...

A) ... I'm only keeping her for a short while, and we're definitely not going to need all this stuff!"
B) ... Since you're a mother and all, do you think you could get that little girl to talk about what's REALLY going on here?"
C) ... I've never raised a kid before. Do you think you could help me take care of her?"
D) ... [Write-in]

 

[BlackGeneral]

Every night I put my pants on my head and thank PantsMan for everything he does for us.

D. So about us being lover ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).
C. I've never raised a kid before. Do you think you could help me take care of her?"

 

[krossite]

C) Come help me raised this kid, "dad"

 

[Teddy]

D) Did you actually give birth and take care of them? You seem too cheerful whilst your husband is half dead.

By the way can I borrow your husband for a few weeks? *Wink wink* You seem like you need a lesson in feeling jealous "Dad". Don't worry I'm make he feels more rested than at home; I can also check how faithful Takashi is whilst I'm at it.

 

[PantsMan]

C) ... I've never raised a kid before. Do you think you could help me take care of her?"

Spoiler

Another long chapter. Apologies.

For a second, 'Dad' stares at you in stunned silence. "You know," she says, reaching down and taking most of the junk she threw into the basket and putting it back in its place. You notice the bear pijamas however remain firmly were she left them. "I was mostly just getting this stuff to tease you. But if you're gonna be that earnest with me about this kid..." she pauses, readjusting her glasses. "Well, I guess I have no choice but to step it up!"

*****

Half an hour later, the two of you are returning together back to your apartment in your broker's car. 'Dad' wasn't kidding about getting serious: on top getting many items you'd neglected, such as basic toiletries, clothes, extra mattresses and even a few textbooks, she's still managed to keep the expenses remarkably low by focusing solely on the strict necessary for a child. The sole exceptions to the latter rule were a few toys you personally picked out and, of course, the pijamas. 'Dad' insisted especially on paying for the latter in the end, as "a housewarming gift". Better that way; it's no good to be excessively in debt with someone with any degree of control over your job.

When you enter the house, you find the girl slowly sitting up from the bed to greet you. "Hello sweetie!" instantly chimes in 'Dad', already making herself comfortable inside the apartment. "Your mommy asked this 'Onee-san' to help look after you!"

The child looks past 'Dad' (or maybe that makes her 'Big Sis' now?) and straight at you, a quizzical look on her face. You give a simple shrug and a nod in reply. 'Onee-san' in the meantime is already busy fussing over her. "Oh my, you're even cuter than I imagined! It's a shame, but let's get you out of that yukata and into something more comfortable".

As the broker helps Nana, the child, undress, a gory spectacle is revealed to you: a patchwork of scars, some natural, the most severe surgical, mark the child's body. A particularly long stitch starts from beneath the left breast, curving around her side just above the kidney; far too dangerous a surgery to be easily practiced on a girl this size or age. Her elbow pits are dotted with the entry points of countless needles. More telling still, none of these marks have been left on either the forearms, face, or anywhere they might easily arouse suspicion. To add to this, her unexpectedly greasy dark hair, when undone, easily reaches her calves, having presumably not been washed in at least weeks. Neither of you make sure to let it show on your faces, but the whole sight is enough to make you wince. Just what the hell is going on with this kid, or the people that saddled you with her?

Without lingering too long on the spectacle, 'Onee-san' quickly changes her into a regular set of clothes. "Well then," she says, giving you a subtle glance before looking back at the girl. "How about the two of us play a game and let your mom rest for a while?"

******

For the rest of the afternoon, 'Dad' keeps the girl busy, leaving you a precious few hours of solitude to carefully unpack and prepare your newly-purchased "medicine" for use in any future job. You even manage to get a dinner that takes more than three minutes ready for once, while you're at it! Your mother would surely be proud.

Leaving the girl to the new textbooks you just purchased, 'Dad' / 'Onee-san' moves out of the latter's earshot and towards you. "Well, she can read and do some basic counting, but she can barely even write properly. Teaching those must have been an afterthought to whoever was in charge here." She scribbles a few notes on a napkin, before handing it to you. "Here. These are some girls you can call for help if you go out and need someone to look after her in the future. I use them to look after my little beasts and I've yet to have any complaints, so you know they're good".

Putting her coat back on and heading for the door, she turns around to look back at you one more time, a sympathetic look in her eye. "Don't let it get to you. It's only natural, in this business."

Once the door clicks shut, you turn back to the girl. You'd intended to assess her actual "skills", as you're going to have to rely on them if she is to accompany you on the job.

A) Hand her your unloaded revolver and see how well she handles herself around guns.
B) Test her craftiness by having her turn the toys you bought into a makeshift weapon.
C) Maybe speed and agility are more her thing. To the local park!
D) You'll see if her information is as good as the Office lady claimed when the directives come through.
E) [Write-in]

 

[krossite]

Hmm...surgeries and resistances to poisons, seems like we got an experimental super soldier modification of some sort here, let's see how well she moves:

C) Maybe speed and agility are more her thing. To the local park!

 

[Teddy]

E) por qué no tener todo? Except for B, cause toys should be toys.

 

[PantsMan]

Spoiler

Pulling out the revolver from its hiding place and unloading it, you casually place the gun in front of the kid. "Show me what you got." you say, sitting opposite of her. The girl nods, and proceeds to quietly take the gun apart. Once done, she proceeds to put it back again. "Snubnose, .38, easily concealable. Worn down, although it doesn't seem to have been fired often; a bit of an old gun, but should still work fine. The sights are near-worthless, but it could still hit a target even at a fair distance if the shooter's good enough. Should I demonstrate?" she concludes, looking up at you expectantly. You shake your head, a look of approval on your face. On the inside, you can't help but chuckle: Snubnose. How do kids even come up with those nonsense words?

Needless to say, you and guns have never really gotten along well. To begin with, if a situation on the job ever requires you to have a gun at hand, it probably means things have gone to shit enough that the only way out is to wave a weapon in someone's face and start taking hostages. Secondly, and perhaps most tellingly, your shooting skills have often been compared by a so-called friend to those of a handicapped child

While testing the girl's aim will probably have to wait, you're a lot more interested in her physical condition, especially given all those surgical scars. No point keeping her close if she can't keep up.

******

Hours later, you find yourself wheezing for breath on a small swingset in a nearby park. Forget keeping up with you, the girl's outright faster, can run for a lot longer, and just kicked you square in the solar plexus when you tried a brief spar. Damn youth, getting fitter with each passing generation. You have only been spared being further one-upped by the timely buzzing of your phone, signalling the arrival of information on the new job. The message is particularly cryptic, to say the least:

Whistling bird -Three days. Show 7. xoxxxoxxoxoooxoxoxoooxoooxoooxooxxxoooxxoooooooooxoxoxoxoooxoxxxxoooooooxxxoxox.

Scratching your head at the generous amount of hugs and kisses, you obediently do as told and hand the phone over to the kid. She looks over it carefully, then hands it back. "Do you wish to hear the details now?" she softly asks, looking around at the nearly empty playground. You merely reply by giving a few pats at the swing next to yours. Sitting on it and gently swaying herself back and forth, Nana starts to recite, as if from a script:

"Background: Tottori construction group. A front for a small but influential yakuza organization. Rumors have lately been spreading that their boss, Souichiro Tanaka (67), has been considering a potential collaboration with the police in return for a lighter sentence. As a result, the entire Tottori group has holed up in their headquarters, fearing retribution from larger rival yakuza groups.

Targets: All key group members and veterans, estimated to be around 20. I can personally provide information on every one of these people, if necessary. Any documents or records found within Tottori group's headquarters are to be destroyed. If unable to kill all group members, elimination of the group's head, second-in-command and document destruction are required to qualify for a half payment.
Time: The job is to take place within the next three days, as the boss and key group members are expected to hand themselves over to police custody after that."

You let out an impressed whistle. "And you got all of that from just those X's and O's?" you ask. The girl shakes her head, her brief moment of talkativeness now gone.

Kid notwithstanding, as an adorable, professional hitwoman you like to take jobs in a nice and neat order. First of all, where exactly is the hit going to take place?

A) If you're gonna get rid of the whole group and documents in one fell swoop, you'll have to take their headquarters by storm.
B) The boss is going to be at his most vulnerable when he's being transported to the police station. You can pick off the remaining group members one by one from there.
C) They're not gonna expect getting taken out inside the police station itself, which is exactly why that's where you're going to do it.
D) Ask Nana for any advice she might have (or, more likely, has already been told ahead of time).
E) Forget it. 20 dangerous criminals dead is a high order for a single job, especially for someone of your specialty.

 

[Teddy]

Ofcourse D)

But honestly just get rival groups to surround the building. Start a fire or, gas leak or slip some bye-bye gas into building. They either die inside or get shot outside. Either way you'll be able to access the documents and probs give kiddo a vantage point as a contingency plan in case something foul hits the fan(which it always does)