corrupt-a-wish

[Tamerlane]

Granted, but you nor anyone you know can never actually go in it or use it. It's covered in rats now worshiping a cheese god.

I wish my sudden resurrection gave me Jesus powers

 

[HahaFunnyMeme]

Granted. But you get killed again for being Jesus by cults. There is no chance of another resurrection

I wish i was not hated by that one silent kid in the class that nobody notices

 

[dabson]

Granted, you now get anally molested by that kid.

I wish the English monarchy was forever ended.

 

[Tamerlane]

Granted, but because of your clear ties to the IRA, you're arrested and due to be executed for treason. (Also the entirety of the British Empire is absorbed into the US afterwards.)

I wish I was a Necromancer

 

[zetsubouzanto]

Granted , by the authority of this thread i hereby give you the power of Necromancer ... of old threads in the forum . Hey still reviving a dead ... thread .

I wish i own an uninhabited island somewhere in this multiverse

 

[Greenfrost]

Granted. Congratulations! you own a beautiful island residing on a planet orbiting a pulsar! You get the joyful experience of having the iron in your blood literally being ripped out of your likely already dead body!

 

[HahaFunnyMeme]

Wish Granted!
You wished for nothing, you shall become nothing

I wish i had motivation to live

 

[EOTFOFYL]

Your wish is granted,
You're now stuck in a coma,
no suicide now.

My humble desire,
a dream of a simple life,
will you grant me that?

 

[zetsubouzanto]

Granted you have "a dream of a simple life" , i mean it's just a dream , meaning most likely your deepest inner wish . But since this is corrupt-a-wish thread let me go 1 step further : after you woke up from that "a dream of a simple life" you come back to despair your current life , and each sleep you're coming back to that exact same dream and wake up even more depressed than before .

I wish i can cook for myself .

 

[alipz]

Granted. You will prepare your meals as long as you live.
You won't be able to tolerate other people's cooking due to your severe phobia that the hands that they use to prepare food are the same hands they use for m*st*rb*t*ng.

I wish to have my integrity back.

 

[dabson]

Granted, you get your integrity back. But, you lose it again in an incident involving a spread asshole.


I wish I was more motivated.

 

[HahaFunnyMeme]

Granted. You become so motivated that whatever you need motivation for becomes an unhealthy obsession, causing your untimely demise due to overwork.

I wish to become 10 cm taller

 

[Tamerlane]

Granted. If you have a penis, it is 10cm shorter. If you do not, your future parent's penis will be 10cm shorter. If you a lesbian, you can not insert anything more than 10cm into yourself.

I wish for a cold glass of chocolate milk that is unpolluted and delicious that I can drink.

 

[zetsubouzanto]

Granted , but it will cost you 1000 gold bar , since ... well it's this thread XD

I wish that i can evade 100% of all attack

 

[Tamerlane]

Granted. You will evade, but there will always be a followup attack and so it will repeatedly send you into an endless, uncontrollable and automatic cycle of attacks until you die.

I wish I knew what I am fighting for.

 

[dabson]

Granted, you now know you're fighting for the high hopes that you'll ever receive affection. The truth is you will never receive sanctuary from all men and women.

I wish I could change the weather at will.

 

[Greenfrost]

Granted, you can change the weather at will, but only right above your head.

I wish the way I die will be getting sucked into a black hole, while giving the middle finger to earth. Hah, I say, to all of you pleabs! though I'll die, I'll still live longer then everyone I know.

 

[HahaFunnyMeme]

Granted. But your mass grows so much, the black hole collapses in on it self, creating a massive supernova, killing you in an instant, without you knowing what ever happened.

I wish all weather all over the world was synced up to be the exact same.

 

[hazzack]

Granted, sun is turned off and the world is only ocean

i wish i can go out safely

 

[RaeReadsManga]

Granted, but you can never go back inside

I wish cat girls were real.