corrupt-a-wish

[Greenfrost]

Granted, you are Steve Austin, astronaut: a man barely alive.
we can rebuild you.
We have the technology.
We have the capability to make the world's first bionic man.
you will be that man.
Better than you were before.
Better, Stronger, Faster.
You will be the 6 Million Dollar Man.

But only for ten minutes, then you become a vegetable, due to a complication arising from a botched surgery.

I wish I could stick my hand so far up my ass, I could pick spinach from the backs of my teeth.

 

[HahaFunnyMeme]

Granted. But the way your digestive system works makes it so that it wont come back if you do so

I wish i was the Pope

 

[hazzack]

granted, you are now the pope of canned bluefin tuna cult

i wish i'm not too anxious

 

[ejala]

Granted, you are just anxious enough. Which is still very anxious given the current state of the world, but you fit in.

I wish my little fingers didn't hurt so much when I'm making chainmaille.

 

[zetsubouzanto]

granted , now you have robotic arms , sure it doesn't feel as good as original-God-crafted-hands since you still need pain to learn but who cares ?

i wish after Re:Zero S2 finished there will be S3 following

 

[alipz]

Granted.
You will be numbed from the pain. You will make make so much chainemaille and then while you are not feeling anything, you will notice that your fingers will fall off one by one due to overwork.
Plus, as a side effect, you won't experience orgasm ever again.


omg @zetsubouzanto you've beaten me to it!


Granted. But it will be an ova with Rem as the heroine.

I wish I could go to Bermuda triangle, and travel through time and space.

 

[kenx]

Granted. Really.

I wish I could stop time to read manga.

 

[dabson]

Granted, but you only stop time to read when you're in a mortal battle with @alipz. A battle both of you must face for you have cheated the genie. Inevitable death awaits one of you for your lies.

I wish I had a flat cola and all the expendable movies on tv with no ads.

 

[HahaFunnyMeme]

Granted. but all the movies actors are replaced with Jim Carrey.

I wish i had more power over the genie

 

[MayorWhiskers]

Granted. You are now the genie. You live inside a lamp and can only come out when someone rubs it. Days past and the people around you start to wonder where you had disappeared to. Years past, you are assumed dead, and you haven’t been called out once. Decades later, you’ve gone insane and understood why the previous genie corrupted everyone’s wishes. You can only hope that some bumbling fool will come along and wish to “have more control over the genie” so you can be freed from your eternal suffering.

I wish to be a happy normie riajuu.

 

[zetsubouzanto]

granted , now explode riajuu !!! (walkie-talkie:tactical nuke incoming!!!!)

i wish i my male calico is fertile

 

[QuantumLeap215]

Granted, but he hates all other cats so you’ll never get kittens.

I wish I could complete my backlog of manga, anime, and games.

 

[Haikaka]

Granted. First we make you eternal and speed time 1000000x for you. Then, as you go through your backlog, you pile up more and more on it, until there is no anime, manga and games left outside of it.
Finally, you complete your backlog. All has been read, watched or played. You feel the emptiness. You have achieved the ultimate state of the weeb, allknowing, no waifus unknown, no cringe you haven't seen.
You only feel nothingness now. Nothing more to do. Time to suicide.

I wish I wouldn't feel so empty each time I finish a manga, anime or game.

 

[dabson]

Granted, go outside moron. You only lose that feeling of emptiness if you are outside. But since you never go outside, you will be doomed to a downward spiral of dopamine fueled addiction to manga.


I wish for a glass of water so devoid of chemicals that it turns me, a frog, not gay.

 

[Tamerlane]

Granted, but you were gay to begin with so it's just normal H2O.

I wish I had my dick back that @dabson, attached to me, working properly, and is an extra inch or two long. It's fully functional with no defects.

 

[EOTFOFYL]

Your wish is granted,
wiener now wedged up your butt,
two inches deeper!

I wish for no wish!
Sick and tired of my fate,
I want nothing now.

 

[zetsubouzanto]

Granted , your pp was so overly perfect that it drains your overly small vitality , the next thing you know you are a young grandpa with a pp so healthy that no one was willing to offer their p**sy and or ass

for real ? i missed my timing lol

Granted , you've returned to nothingness but with your mind intact thus perfectly fulfilled your "individual's wish of no wish" , you can't go to hell , you can't go to heaven , you can't escape , you can't run , you can't endure , you can't even granted repose by death , great now i made another immortal .

immortal creatures should've just learn their lesson that immortality is nothing but a curse and death is either blessing or condemnation determined by your action .

i wish my first love isn't over

 

[Anikiman]

Granted. You are now caught in a perpetual loop. Your love will never end even if your feelings of love are lost in the neverending vortex of infinity. Any attempt you to end the relationship will result in you returning to the moment you fell in love, be it by choice, chance or Force Majeure.

I wish to graduate from university

 

[Haikaka]

Granted. But you graduate in contemporarian anthropology, which isn't bad per se, but you have no other choice than try for a doctorate in some third rate university or choose a low-end low-pay job. Poverty awaits.

I wish for my computer science doctorate to be a success.

 

[dabson]

Granted, but after graduation you get labeled as a registered sex offender. Therefore, you can't get a job with that degree no matter how hard you try. Also, you lose penis privledge.

I wish seattle was a nice, warm beach city.