Haimiya-senpai wa Kowakute Kawaii - Ch. 42

[Scipo0419]

Wow. Would you look at that, the sudden trauma jumpscare last chapter was a setup that turned into a payoff backstory! Shocker! It's almost as if the author was using a literary technique called "setting the stage". We got the unexplained reaction, leading to the reader asking "what happened to him in the past," only for the author to say "let me show you... WITH A FLASHBACK~~~!"

Now we all know what's going to happen during the competition, which led Kurose to have a TRIGGERED TRAUMA RESPONSE WHEN EXPECTATIONS WERE PLACED ON HIM TO PERFORM THAT WOULDN'T HAVE TRIGGERED WHEN HE'S JUST PLAYING FOR FUN, which as many of us tried explaining last chapter: is exactly how a triggered trauma response works!

 

[Scipo0419]

I can't believe someone would go help a bunch of strangers with their music stuff when his trauma is related to that

The trauma isn't "playing music" the trauma is "having expectations to perform."

The triggering line was "we're so glad you're our guitarist, Kurose!" immediately after they just got done spilling their guts out about how they all wanted to perform before they graduate with their own tragic backstories. Which distorted into "We never should have expected anything from you." Because suddenly it's not "we're playing for fun!" It's "if you fuck up, our dream is ruined... no pressure."

Kurose volunteered himself forward, likely did well in practice, then royally fucked up in the crucial moment when everyone was depending on him. So him wanting to play in a band for funsies? Fine, he has no issues with that. When he's suddenly their last hope for having their dreams of performing in front of the whole school? #triggered.

I really don't understand why that's so hard to follow for people.

 

[Scipo0419]

You remember what chapter this was? i feel like I might have missed this...

So I went back too,

Ch 21.5 is the one where it notes Sora (eldest) can't play guitar. While we know Kurose and Umi (youngest) can.

Have we seen his mom & sister in previous chapters? I can't remember if we have.

If we did I certainly don't remember any drama or difficulties between them.

Mom? No. Sisters? Yes. Sora is 20, and Chapter 9 is when they're first introduced with Chapter 20 the first time Umi really talks to Kurose because Sora told Umi to talk to him while she watched over them. Which leads me to:

The most weird thing out of this is that his older sister whom he was always compered to is not even playing piano anymore or at least she didn't tie her professional life with it as she was said to be a student in the beauty school, so I assume she studies to be as stylist or something similar

This is even weirder because I refuse to believe that such obsessed mother would allow her such a choice when she definitely had talent in playing piano (knowing of how many rewards she won) and this was resolved without a scandal or the girl to move out of the house to live alone

Chapter 9 notes the "Kurose Household" is Sora, Umi, and Kurose and 9.5 notes that Sora is a Beauty School Student. So it's likely that she took Umi and Kurose to live with her away from their overly strict (to the point of emotional abuse, at the very least, possibly physical abuse given the slapping of his hand) mother. The dad is "traveling" so we don't know if the parents are divorced and the dad has custody but is leaving them with Sora, or if they're still together and the kids are just estranged from the parents.

 

[mug3n]

The trauma isn't "playing music" the trauma is "having expectations to perform."

I really don't understand why that's so hard to follow for people.

Because you REMEMBER the situation where your trauma happened and normally you avoid those situations that could trigger you. You don't reset yourself when you recover from trauma and say "oh well, maybe next time", it's messy. That's why it doesn't make sense to go help strangers out of the blue because you want to show off to your crush when your trauma is related to the activity with no signal that something is wrong, and that's why I said it we need to know what was his thinking.

 

[nnTsumiki]

Kurose will BOMB the piano and that made him shrivel up. gng its been 4 years and UNLIKE the piano incident you have people who ACTUALLY support you. Bland story line to have Haimiya come, clease your insecurities, and save the day. It isn't genuine since this is the ONLY reason why the guitar ark has been brought up, I bet MONEY that after this festival MC will stray away from instruments and we won't hear from the music club ever again

 

[Scipo0419]

Because you REMEMBER the situation where your trauma happened and normally you avoid those situations that could trigger you. You don't reset yourself when you recover from trauma and say "oh well, maybe next time", it's messy. That's why it doesn't make sense to go help strangers out of the blue because you want to show off to your crush when your trauma is related to the activity with no signal that something is wrong, and that's why I said it we need to know what was his thinking.

Again, the trauma isn't related to the activity of playing music... the trauma is related to "we're expecting great things from you, Kurose, don't let us down." Which is why "Kurose, can you help us take out the trash" isn't triggering but "Kurose, we've dreamed of performing at the school festival for years and now we can finally do it before we graduate and it's all thanks to you!" is triggering.

When it was just "Hey, want to play in our band for the cultural festival? It'll be fun!" his response was "I'm nervous, but sure sounds fun." But when that turned into "You can now ruin everything like you did before in middle school because we expected you to do well instead of it just being 'for fun'" his trauma resurfaced.

I was caught in a rip current at 6 y/o and almost drowned, I still have (albeit rare now) nightmares about that day. I'm 33 y/o now and I've been to swim in the ocean many times since then with no issues, because "swimming in the ocean" isn't a trigger, "being dragged out to sea" is. I panicked when my older brothers grabbed and threw me further out at 14, my younger sister was loving it but the act of "you're involuntarily moving further from shore" freaked me out.

So no, people don't just avoid any possible association, no matter how small, with their trigger (if they're even aware it's a trigger). Especially when it's tied to something they love to do (swimming for me, music for Kurose).

 

[famburgler]

Wow. Would you look at that, the sudden trauma jumpscare last chapter was a setup that turned into a payoff backstory! Shocker! It's almost as if the author was using a literary technique called "setting the stage". We got the unexplained reaction, leading to the reader asking "what happened to him in the past," only for the author to say "let me show you... WITH A FLASHBACK~~~!"

Now we all know what's going to happen during the competition, which led Kurose to have a TRIGGERED TRAUMA RESPONSE WHEN EXPECTATIONS WERE PLACED ON HIM TO PERFORM THAT WOULDN'T HAVE TRIGGERED WHEN HE'S JUST PLAYING FOR FUN, which as many of us tried explaining last chapter: is exactly how a triggered trauma response works!

Except in Chaptrr 37 when he first goes to the club room Hazuki uses a lot of the same language when she initially recruits Kurose. She makes it clear the intention is that he play at the school festival, tha they need a guitar player for her to make the right music for it, that it's thr bassist's last year to play, and that the last guitarist quit because of the very same high expectations. Kurose should have been triggered then at least shown a ton more reluctance (with baby flashbacks) than he did in that moment instead of more or less agreeing by flexing his skills and agreeing to practice with them provisionally while they all arranged music around him assuming he'd be performing with them. The idea that he was only playing for fun is not seriously believable- they made it very clear they were pinning their hopes on him performing, and the first thing he thinks in his head thr next chapter is "the cultural festival is only a few weeks away...I gotta practice harder!" which sounds very much like someone expecting and motivated to perform and very much not thr thoughts of someone with past performance based trauma making them afraid.

 

[Kaito57]

"You won't win any prizes like that !"

Careful, Ma'am : them be "left to rot alone in an retirement home" words...

 

[Scipo0419]

Except in Chaptrr 37 when he first goes to the club room Hazuki uses a lot of the same language when she initially recruits Kurose. She makes it clear the intention is that he play at the school festival, tha they need a guitar player for her to make the right music for it, that it's thr bassist's last year to play, and that the last guitarist quit because of the very same high expectations. Kurose should have been triggered then at least shown a ton more reluctance (with baby flashbacks) than he did in that moment instead of more or less agreeing by flexing his skills and agreeing to practice with them provisionally while they all arranged music around him assuming he'd be performing with them. The idea that he was only playing for fun is not seriously believable- they made it very clear they were pinning their hopes on him performing, and the first thing he thinks in his head thr next chapter is "the cultural festival is only a few weeks away...I gotta practice harder!" which sounds very much like someone expecting and motivated to perform and very much not thr thoughts of someone with past performance based trauma making them afraid.

Screw it, I'll bite.
Ch. 37:
Kurino-senpai: "Even if you don't join officially, it'd help a ton if you supported us just for the school festival"
Kurose: "Is it okay if I just joined practice as a helper first? I've never been in a band before and I'm still not very confident."
Hazuki: "Of course! You've been keeping the fact you play guitar a secret, so what made you decide to do this?"
Kurose: "I just want to help someone when they're in trouble. That's all there is to it." (see ch. 21 for confirmation that Kurose is a busy-body who will sacrifice himself to help others.)

Ch 41:
Hazuki: "And now with you helping us out...I'm so happy we get to play together as 'Watmelo'!! I'm so glad we got you to be our guitarist, Kurose!"
Kurose's Trauma: "We never should have left it to you in the first place, JUST STAY OUT OF IT!"

Ch. 37: "You can join as a helper! That's fine!"
Ch. 37: "You like to help people? Then we're counting on you [as a helper]!"
Ch. 41: "You are our guitarist and the reason we can finally play together!"
~~One of these things is not like the others~~
~~One of these things doesn't belong~~
~~Can you tell which thing is not like the others~~
~~By the time I finish my song?~~

 

[itzpeq]

Your Lie In April?

 

[LeaguePlyrhere69]

Pretty short but okay, past trauma is finally being revealed.
I will guess that something bad will happen in the choral competition which would either be fully or partially caused by Kurose and his entire class would blame him for everything, causing him to be afraid of failing to meet other people's expectations.

And the angel herself, Mio would snap him out of it. Be the first to truly and genuinely compliment him for his skills, no matter if he'll fail or not (and hopefully a kiss on the cheek ). Will always see Kurose as himself, no matter if he can play the piano or a guitar, she would always appreciate who he truly is, her beloved kouhai (and hopefully a big hug where he would cry on Mio's shoulders ).

Can't wait, thanks for the TL!!


Oh, btw. How the hell do you pronounce "choral"?? 'cho'-ral like in "choir", or 'co'-ral like in "corral"????

 

[Scipo0419]

Oh, btw. How the hell do you pronounce "choral"?? 'cho'-ral like in "choir", or 'co'-ral like in "corral"????

The second one, also "choir" is not "cho-ir" it's "kwire"

 

[ezzhead]

I do agree that this arc and trauma and stuff seems to come kind of out of nowhere, and honestly even mid arc it came out of left field, like I don't get what could have spooked Kurose about that specific moment in the band room that reminded him of his trauma.... I guess he did always think his guitar skills were mediocre, and so that lines up better with him having an inferiority complex about his skills. But that honestly came across more as him just not playing in front of anyone and so not ever being told how good he is. But backstory ain't even finished yet, so I'll hold off on judgement until then, and even if it is written poorly I'll probably still enjoy reading this. It's not too big of a deal honestly

 

[Scipo0419]

I do agree that this arc and trauma and stuff seems to come kind of out of nowhere, and honestly even mid arc it came out of left field, like I don't get what could have spooked Kurose about that specific moment in the band room that reminded him of his trauma.... I guess he did always think his guitar skills were mediocre, and so that lines up better with him having an inferiority complex about his skills. But that honestly came across more as him just not playing in front of anyone and so not ever being told how good he is. But backstory ain't even finished yet, so I'll hold off on judgement until then, and even if it is written poorly I'll probably still enjoy reading this. It's not too big of a deal honestly

It has nothing to do with his skill with a guitar. It has everything to do with the expectations placed on him to perform and not ruin the performance for everyone else. When he was just a "helper" it was fine, but as soon as she said "We're glad you're our guitarist!" it became a problem due to the past situation where he volunteered to play piano at the competition, got the part over someone else (who was probably just as good as he was but might not have choked during the competition), and then choked during the competition and let everyone down.

So it's all "we're trusting you to be our X, don't let us down" causing the issue, where "we're glad you're helping us" likely would have been fine.

Edit: I'm just speaking on how it was presented and why it makes sense narratively. As for "is this a good arc?" or "was this handled well?" that's subjective and "remains to be seen" respectively

 

[Visualizee]

Pretty cliche backstory, I could count on my fingers and toes the number of manga that have used this same trope to explain childhood trauma.

does it matter that much if something is tropey or uses cliches, its just a vehicle to deliver a broader story

 

[ezzhead]

It has nothing to do with his skill with a guitar. It has everything to do with the expectations placed on him to perform and not ruin the performance for everyone else. When he was just a "helper" it was fine, but as soon as she said "We're glad you're our guitarist!" it became a problem due to the past situation where he volunteered to play piano at the competition, got the part over someone else (who was probably just as good as he was but might not have choked during the competition), and then choked during the competition and let everyone down.

So it's all "we're trusting you to be our X, don't let us down" causing the issue, where "we're glad you're helping us" likely would have been fine.

Edit: I'm just speaking on how it was presented and why it makes sense narratively. As for "is this a good arc?" or "was this handled well?" that's subjective and "remains to be seen" respectively

Well I didn't say thinking he was mediocre with guitar was the cause of anything, just that it lines up with his trauma to me. You are probably right about the distinction between helping and being part of the band and being trusted and all that. But that still feels like a big jump to go from him being completely fine to freaking out and ghosting them cause they said they were counting on him, especially since I'm pretty sure he was aware going to be playing with the band at the festival. ACTUALLY going back and rereading she didn't even say they were counting on him, she just said "We're glad to have you as our guitarist" And before that his reaction to playing at the festival and being an integral part of the band was apprehensiveness at most, not a full blown fight or flight response. I don't think your interpretation makes much sense when he hasn't had expectations placed on him by the band, he's just been recognized by them and told that they're glad to have him around. It's not impossible that that's what the author was going for here, but if it was then they messed up presenting it cause it really doesn't make much sense. I'm gonna enjoy the story regardless of if it makes sense honestly, but it really doesn't seem like it's making sense

 

[Scipo0419]

Well I didn't say thinking he was mediocre with guitar was the cause of anything, just that it lines up with his trauma to me. You are probably right about the distinction between helping and being part of the band and being trusted and all that. But that still feels like a big jump to go from him being completely fine to freaking out and ghosting them cause they said they were counting on him, especially since I'm pretty sure he was aware going to be playing with the band at the festival. ACTUALLY going back and rereading she didn't even say they were counting on him, she just said "We're glad to have you as our guitarist" And before that his reaction to playing at the festival and being an integral part of the band was apprehensiveness at most, not a full blown fight or flight response. I don't think your interpretation makes much sense when he hasn't had expectations placed on him by the band, he's just been recognized by them and told that they're glad to have him around. It's not impossible that that's what the author was going for here, but if it was then they messed up presenting it cause it really doesn't make much sense. I'm gonna enjoy the story regardless of if it makes sense honestly, but it really doesn't seem like it's making sense

Just because they haven't explicitly said "we're counting on you" doesn't mean that's not what his brain inteprets. Clearly he didn't connect "I'm a helper" to his trauma but did connect "I'm their guitarist" to his trauma. That's directly shown in the manga and with a tiny bit of inferrence you can connect the dots.

 

[ezzhead]

Just because they haven't explicitly said "we're counting on you" doesn't mean that's not what his brain inteprets. Clearly he didn't connect "I'm a helper" to his trauma but did connect "I'm their guitarist" to his trauma. That's directly shown in the manga and with a tiny bit of inferrence you can connect the dots.

Obviously he connected what they said to his trauma, I never said he didn't. It just doesn't seem to make sense that he made that connection. New chapter doesn't really make it make any more sense especially since playing guitar was a comfort to him after what happened. He seems to just have a general fear of applying himself in music, which begs the question why he was so much more ok with joining in the first place, and why being recognized and appreciated triggered that trauma. Unless it made him think back to how everyone loved his playing leading up to the performance? I guess that could be it but it feels like there's much better ways to connect current events to his trauma in a way that makes it believable for him to react like this.

 

[Scipo0419]

Obviously he connected what they said to his trauma, I never said he didn't. It just doesn't seem to make sense that he made that connection. New chapter doesn't really make it make any more sense especially since playing guitar was a comfort to him after what happened. He seems to just have a general fear of applying himself in music, which begs the question why he was so much more ok with joining in the first place, and why being recognized and appreciated triggered that trauma. Unless it made him think back to how everyone loved his playing leading up to the performance? I guess that could be it but it feels like there's much better ways to connect current events to his trauma in a way that makes it believable for him to react like this.

Music isn't the issue. That's what you're missing.

Hypothetically, let's say he got into baking after the choral failure. Then the Home Economics club asked him to be a helper so they could make their cupcake quota for the school festival. Then, the club leader goes "We're so happy we have you to be our froster, Kurose!"
He would have had the exact same reaction.

 

[ezzhead]

Music isn't the issue. That's what you're missing.

Hypothetically, let's say he got into baking after the choral failure. Then the Home Economics club asked him to be a helper so they could make their cupcake quota for the school festival. Then, the club leader goes "We're so happy we have you to be our froster, Kurose!"
He would have had the exact same reaction.

Yeah I'm not sure about that exactly but his response does make sense to me now cause that line was exactly what Sato and the band leader both said