Kono Koi wo Hoshi ni wa Negawanai - Vol. 5 Ch. 23
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23 chapters certainly isn't a bad pace but it sure felt like a long time.
What I can't exactly figure out is it that she is trending more towards asexual or has she always just ignored that she liked her. Probably will see more in the future chapters but I'm interested.
What I can't exactly figure out is it that she is trending more towards asexual or has she always just ignored that she liked her. Probably will see more in the future chapters but I'm interested.
Why not? It seemed pretty clear from earlier chapters that as long as they were together, they were happy. Calling it exclusive now and maybe something a little more doesn't seem like that far of a stretch from what they had.
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The way she's describing it make it look like she might be on the aromantic spectrum. Not sure though whether these specific circumstances are supposed to represent something that exists irl or just an idea that the author had
Dex-chan lover
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As expected and I mentioned long ago, Eri definitely always felt asexual or demisexual or something in that she never really had any strong romantic feelings towards anyone or anything, she just kind of "went with things" and I absolutely LOVE that this angsty ass series didn't just discount it for a "happy ending" and embraced it narratively (as in good writing, she didn't just come to the conclusion she was actually a lesbian the whole time or something silly). Big fan of this series.
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Geez, why does their relationship feel so forced and disgusting? I just want Fuyuki to move on and leave Eri alone🙄
I find this rather cruel from Eri. She knows Fuyuki has been in love with her romantically forever. If she has never thought of Fuyuki that way, a "let's see what happens, maybe I'll fall for you as well" is just gonna have Fuyuki second guessing Eri all the time. I'd rather have had a clean cut and Fuyuki having coming to terms with her heartbreak to eventually spread out and see who else is there but Eri.
To be honest I was thinking more on on the demisexual end but from what she said, but from what we've seen it seems more asexual to me.
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Why should she stay with someone she doesn't like just so that you and a feel others would be happy?
If she didn't end up with Eri, she would've ended up alone. Also this is not the ending
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Shinoa manga with a happy ending doesn't hit the same
Loved the series overall though! Great work for their first full serialization
Loved the series overall though! Great work for their first full serialization
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I knew it was significant that Eri never seemed to be the one to proactively pursue a relationship in all the moments we've seen.
This would mark the first time she was, though - and it being for Fuyuki, makes perfect sense.
I don't know if there's "an orientation" that can be easily ascribed to Eri; it feels like some sort of mix of aro/ace and demi-for-Fuyuki, but she's clearly never been one to recognize romantic or sexual attraction of her own accord.
Which, as cruel and selfish as she admits to being in expressing her desire to keep Fuyuki in her life, I see the logic in what she's saying: if she has fallen for others in the past upon learning their own desires for her, then fully knowing that Fuyuki loves her, romantically in addition to as a friend, then the more Eri is made to focus on Fuyuki, the more that feeling will build up within her.
I do think it was significant when she said "I've never thought about kissing you, but I've never thought that about anyone before" for the same reason. She's obviously done things with partners in the past, but she's never instigated it, never felt that impulse without the other person initiating. And when they break up, she never seems....I guess "broken up" about it, insofar as she's devastated; she's always just moved forward.
Fuyuki is the outlier. Eri fully fell apart when Fuyuki left her side. We see it start slowly with Senpai's existence being revealed, we see her crumble completely after their big fight and Fuyuki walked out. She might have always thought "friend" when it came to Fuyuki, but I'm of the opinion that she only used "friend" because there didn't exist a word to describe the full immensity of what Fuyuki means to her.
It might not be "romantic love", at least not yet, but Eri considers Fuyuki the most important thing in the world to her, and she's decided that she'll try to shift her entire personality and sense of attraction and proximity if it means Fuyuki will stay by her side. It's incredibly selfish, because Fuyuki can only imagine that it might fall apart down the line, if their mutual desires never align, but I think Eri's asking that Fuyuki not focus on that, and simply give them both the chance, because Fuyuki is important enough to try.
And I think that's the key point. Whatever Eri's sexuality, or her romantic tendencies, or whether she truly believes it would work out between them in the long run - all of that is secondary to the fact that for her, Fuyuki is everything. Her most precious treasure, and I expect that she'd do anything to not lose that, including "faking it until she makes it", as it were.
It's very much not a "nice and tidy happy conclusion" to this buildup thus far, but it feels very appropriate for them both. Life isn't always sunshine and daisies, and even those most important to us can cause us immeasurable pain, even with the best of intentions.
They have been so close, and are so important to one another, that simply disregarding all tha we've seen up to this point to just say "and they lived happily ever after" would be a disservice to the effort that they've both sought to put into this relationship, both before and especially going forward.
What a fantastic chapter, and story. I very much look forward to where these two go from here.
Thanks for the translation and continued efforts in putting this together for us.
-
EDIT
Thinking about it a bit more - I will say that I don't know if it will ultimately work out between them; Fuyuki clearly wants more than Eri might ever end up being able to give, but I also kind of think that Eri considers Fuyuki so important that, even if they don't end up on the same romantic wavelength, Fuyuki would effectively have Eri monopolized, all the same.
If their label is "girlfriends" or "partners" or "wives" or whatever, Eri's committed to keeping Fuyuki in her life, and that might just take the form of them being, if not explicitly intimate, then like "best friends who live together and maybe sometimes kiss and have sex or something". And even "best friends" feels insufficient for what Eri actually feels for Fuyuki.
Like, I'm not even sure if a label can be put to them, much less whether it's even necessary. Fuyuki is Eri's whole world, just like Eri is Fuyuki's. Even if the exact timbre of their feelings for one another don't align, the immensity of their feelings seems very much mutual, and that feels significant enough that Fuyuki might be able to find happiness with Eri after all.
This would mark the first time she was, though - and it being for Fuyuki, makes perfect sense.
I don't know if there's "an orientation" that can be easily ascribed to Eri; it feels like some sort of mix of aro/ace and demi-for-Fuyuki, but she's clearly never been one to recognize romantic or sexual attraction of her own accord.
Which, as cruel and selfish as she admits to being in expressing her desire to keep Fuyuki in her life, I see the logic in what she's saying: if she has fallen for others in the past upon learning their own desires for her, then fully knowing that Fuyuki loves her, romantically in addition to as a friend, then the more Eri is made to focus on Fuyuki, the more that feeling will build up within her.
I do think it was significant when she said "I've never thought about kissing you, but I've never thought that about anyone before" for the same reason. She's obviously done things with partners in the past, but she's never instigated it, never felt that impulse without the other person initiating. And when they break up, she never seems....I guess "broken up" about it, insofar as she's devastated; she's always just moved forward.
Fuyuki is the outlier. Eri fully fell apart when Fuyuki left her side. We see it start slowly with Senpai's existence being revealed, we see her crumble completely after their big fight and Fuyuki walked out. She might have always thought "friend" when it came to Fuyuki, but I'm of the opinion that she only used "friend" because there didn't exist a word to describe the full immensity of what Fuyuki means to her.
It might not be "romantic love", at least not yet, but Eri considers Fuyuki the most important thing in the world to her, and she's decided that she'll try to shift her entire personality and sense of attraction and proximity if it means Fuyuki will stay by her side. It's incredibly selfish, because Fuyuki can only imagine that it might fall apart down the line, if their mutual desires never align, but I think Eri's asking that Fuyuki not focus on that, and simply give them both the chance, because Fuyuki is important enough to try.
And I think that's the key point. Whatever Eri's sexuality, or her romantic tendencies, or whether she truly believes it would work out between them in the long run - all of that is secondary to the fact that for her, Fuyuki is everything. Her most precious treasure, and I expect that she'd do anything to not lose that, including "faking it until she makes it", as it were.
It's very much not a "nice and tidy happy conclusion" to this buildup thus far, but it feels very appropriate for them both. Life isn't always sunshine and daisies, and even those most important to us can cause us immeasurable pain, even with the best of intentions.
They have been so close, and are so important to one another, that simply disregarding all tha we've seen up to this point to just say "and they lived happily ever after" would be a disservice to the effort that they've both sought to put into this relationship, both before and especially going forward.
What a fantastic chapter, and story. I very much look forward to where these two go from here.
Thanks for the translation and continued efforts in putting this together for us.
-
EDIT
Thinking about it a bit more - I will say that I don't know if it will ultimately work out between them; Fuyuki clearly wants more than Eri might ever end up being able to give, but I also kind of think that Eri considers Fuyuki so important that, even if they don't end up on the same romantic wavelength, Fuyuki would effectively have Eri monopolized, all the same.
If their label is "girlfriends" or "partners" or "wives" or whatever, Eri's committed to keeping Fuyuki in her life, and that might just take the form of them being, if not explicitly intimate, then like "best friends who live together and maybe sometimes kiss and have sex or something". And even "best friends" feels insufficient for what Eri actually feels for Fuyuki.
Like, I'm not even sure if a label can be put to them, much less whether it's even necessary. Fuyuki is Eri's whole world, just like Eri is Fuyuki's. Even if the exact timbre of their feelings for one another don't align, the immensity of their feelings seems very much mutual, and that feels significant enough that Fuyuki might be able to find happiness with Eri after all.
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Because its an ending tailored towards Eri and Eri alone and Fuyuki folding on the spot. She comes across pretty much as an aromantic/asexual person (she gave the exact same talk to Fuyuki this chapter that she gave to Kyou in chapter 4 about falling in love eventually) and unless you completely understand what is to be like with someone like that, Fuyuki is just going in with a HIGH chance of getting absolutely obliterated emotionally in the end. So its all comes down to, are you here to read a dreamland happily ever after or a realistic story about human condition?
Problem is, though most young romance manga stories tend to ignore it, characters don't really HAVE to end up with their first love. That is a very very rare thing to happen in reality. It can still be a good story even without two leads ending up together. Specially in this situation. One side is completely out of the equation, emotionally. Eri, quite literally, doesn't understand romantic love and there is a massive in-balance. We can see it, she can see it and i think even Fuyuki can see it but for some reason, she is ok with it now.
"Just keep loving me and give attention to me. Even if it kills you inside. I might turn gay someday and return your feelings, you never know" <- this is what Eri essentially said.
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I actually really like these endings. Of course I love when two girls get together and start dating, but yuri isn't just standard romance, it's about just "close relationships between women", which allows for these kinds of relationships to be made as well. I like when different types of romance, love, and affection get explored in manga like this.
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As someone who personally fits more on the demi side of the spectrum of attraction, I enjoyed this ending a lot. It's not a perfect solution, it's messy, it risks so much more possible future emotional stress and pain, BUT:
If you don't like it, you don't have to. I just know that I really do like it.
- Relationships in real life are messy, imperfect, complicated works of finding compromises between the parties involved. They're not simple solutions of just saying "I love you!" and everything working out perfectly. They just aren't.
- Eri's being honest about what kind of person she is and, frankly, how poorly she operates at taking care of the things and people she treasures, and her poorness in handling that has contributed to a lot of pain for the characters in this story. And even with that, she's honest again about her selfish wish to have Fuyuki in her life anyways. Again, it's messy. It's imperfect. It's human.
- Us as the reader can thus interpret how this relationship will grow and change in the future we come up with in our own heads. I know this is a total cop-out point to make, but like...at the end of the day, how we choose to carry on with these stories is the most important part of how we process them.
If you don't like it, you don't have to. I just know that I really do like it.
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