No Home - Ch. 249 - Eunyung Baek 2 (3)

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I can really relate to Euyung with how he is spending money. Yes he is suddenly making some, and also likely not saving enough. When you have been living with a bank account near zero for so long despite working hard for a very long time and cutting out all that can be cut, such as feeling guilty about buying nicer food, the fatigue of never having comforts or anything nice wears you out. So you spend a little when the money is there, because it's only going to disappear later.

For Euyeng in particular I am not surprised at the clothing and shoe splurge. His biggest shame and fear was that someone else would see how he lived with only owning one real outfit. What he is spending is not all that crazy given how he is basically starting from nothing. Encouraged in a negative way because he can literally show his mom how well he is doing through his own efforts without having to explain anything. Literally the desire to show your ex how much better off you are without them.

The payments are also an extention of this, but more so a show to sever all ties by leaving nothing for a parent to hold over their child. ("I'm paying for your school/allowance so you have to listen to me" seems to be a common affront in this manwa)

I don't believe his blasé line 'I'll just make more money later" is said earnestly, but the idea behind it is very strong. Whether he is fully aware of his feelings or not, I think he feels all his current actions are motivated behinf the idea that it's much better to pay a hefty sum to cut off his parents in the short term than deal with their burden long term.
 
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I mean nothing bad really just pointing out what i see, but anytime there's an argument in here it looks to me like you point flaws at people's interpretation of the story.
For sure it's always an interesting thing to have experience in whatever subject is getting brought into the story, that doesn't mean you're better at reading into the author's intentions and you should be aware of that. Especially about that parents showing remorse and saying sorry part. You can be inclined to think they do show remorse, some think they don't, but how come you're so confident about your perspective that you can say your interlocutor is outright lying to say the parents don't show remorse ? You don't know about that just as much as every other readers.. For every possible hint they show remorse, there's just as many elements of the story that could indicate the opposite. And if you don't believe me then I urge you to reread the chapters. Why is it so worth defending one reading of the story's events against an other one, to the point of getting rude..
This is the same person who wrote me an essay being nitpicky about my wording when I said Haejoon's dad was very obviously not a good guy (with examples), calling me "shallow" only to be spectacularly proven wrong a few chapters later. This behavior of theirs won't be changing anytime soon unfortunately :/
 
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Oh and I also wanted to add that Eunyung has been on a kick of social maturity. One of the last arcs was how he quietly cut out someone from his past who keeps trying to be with him when he's neither enjoyable and almost always puts Eunyung down, and tries to play off how he's doing so. That severence may have ended up being a trial to see how it would feel to go through with ending more difficult relationships.
 
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This is the same person who wrote me an essay being nitpicky about my wording when I said Haejoon's dad was very obviously not a good guy (with examples), calling me "shallow" only to be spectacularly proven wrong a few chapters later. This behavior of theirs won't be changing anytime soon unfortunately :/
Lol, you just proved yourself wrong.

Show me where I was wrong. Was it where I said it was too early to judge? Was it where I said we don't know yet? Was it where I said he might be an okay person, might be a bad person?

Please, demonstrate to me how you're not just being a hypocrite and nitpicking here.

You've been spectacularly proven wrong by your own words. You show how wrong you are.

It's honestly astounding how you criticize my behavior when you had to twist and lie about what happened. It's very clear that your behavior won't change anytime soon considering your willingness to lie to make yourself look better.
 
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As you said, I've done this twice. Before that, I had made normal conversation about the chapters. Sometimes I made jokes about the characters or writing. Sometimes I just made observations.

...this very much sounds like a pot calling the kettle black situation, but in a weird way. Okay, yes, I'm saying people should have more nuanced opinions, as you said. And you're... Lightly criticizing me for that. But then you try to make your own nuanced position. My response is that nuanced positions are good. It's good to have discussions that bring out depth and thought. And yes, sometimes I am crap.

But your writing seems so self-contradictory. You even have to twist certain things to justify what you say. Here's a clear example.


I agree! That means there's evidence for both, which is what I had indicated. And that directly goes against a person who says they showed zero hints of remorse. But then you...ignore what I wrote.

Because I'm having a conversation. I just pointed out how I've made other comments in other chapters. I've made jokes. I've made mundane observations. I've made stupid comments elsewhere.

---

This series looks like it's trying to be serious. I'm being serious in response to it. You may disagree with me. Okay, fine. I understand. But apparently some people have an issue that I'm taking this seriously and giving thought to it? And that I'm making comments?

Do you just want me to fall in line with some majority opinion even when there are clear issues, issues that I directly point out? I can do that. I can just ignore the issues I find. I've been silent on other chapters before.

But...people are complaining that I'm taking this seriously. To quote kirantine, Jesus.
I agree! That means there's evidence for both, which is what I had indicated

Well I'm not so sure about that, but feel free to tell me where. For my part this statement I made is based on your first comment in here, it was in response to someone saying the parents have no remorse, to which you stated "It's that you directly said they showed no remorse when they clearly do.". I'm pretty sure you're set on the question here from that phrasing.

this very much sounds like a pot calling the kettle black situation
I am not sure what you mean in that paragraph. What is my nuanced position that you talk about, me agreeing that a nuanced discussion is good ? Have you read anything else off of my comment? The parts where I said you could pull off a nuanced discussions if you want, just not with that kind of mean-ish demeanor ?
People are not mad that you're taking this seriously. Believe me. It's just very tiring to converse in a mean-spirited fashion. Don't you feel tired from arguing ?

Well don't need to answer I'm getting busy anyway and probably won't have time to read*. Bottom word is, just talk respectfully and don't take the comment section like an opinion contest and I'm sure there's gonna be much more pleasant exchanges coming your way. For sure people's takes don't have to take every single possibility into account, they're reading the story we will literally get more info in the coming weeks. Nuance is good when you want to debate but you just reply to some person and say they're wrong for not being nuanced. Not only is that* not the way to engage in a two way debate, that's also not how a reading impression goes. It's not something to be right or wrong about it's just what it is, an impression.
 
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Well I'm not so sure about that, but feel free to tell me where. For my part this statement I made is based on your first comment in here, it was in response to someone saying the parents have no remorse, to which you stated "It's that you directly said they showed no remorse when they clearly do.". I'm pretty sure you're set on the question here from that phrasing.


I am not sure what you mean in that paragraph. What is my nuanced position that you talk about, me agreeing that a nuanced discussion is good ? Have you read anything else off of my comment? The parts where I said you could pull off a nuanced discussions if you want, just not with that kind of mean-ish demeanor ?
People are not mad that you're taking this seriously. Believe me. It's just very tiring to converse in a mean-spirited fashion. Don't you feel tired from arguing ?

Well don't need to answer I'm getting busy anyway and probably won't have time to read*. Bottom word is, just talk respectfully and don't take the comment section like an opinion contest and I'm sure there's gonna be much more pleasant exchanges coming your way. For sure people's takes don't have to take every single possibility into account, they're reading the story we will literally get more info in the coming weeks. Nuance is good when you want to debate but you just reply to some person and say they're wrong for not being nuanced. Not only is that* not the way to engage in a two way debate, that's also not how a reading impression goes. It's not something to be right or wrong about it's just what it is, an impression.
Yes, I had read your full post. I was trying to condense it because I sometimes can't type a lot.

Some people actually did get upset that I was taking my particular nuanced approach. That did happen.

Could I be nicer? I fully admit yes, you are right. I would disagree that I was mean, though. Sometimes I use particular language like saying someone is lying to carry my point. For example, with that "no hint of remorse" comment, that is already an extreme position. The only way for me to address is I'd being straightforward and head on. I want to emphasize that I actually don't disagree with people of there's room for reasonable doubt. That one didn't have any, for example. That one was extreme.
dont you guys ever get tired of arguing in the comments
Hello. Thank you for the translations. No, not really. The series is engaging and fun to talk about, even if I disagree with people.

I'll stop if you want me to, out of respect for you and your translation work, though.
 
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I don't even know what to say about this chapter, but I'll try anyway.

What grinds my gears about the ancestors is that neither, not even the egg donor, shows the slightest hint of remorse. She's obviously not as bad as the sperm donor, but she's got some nerve trying to give him motherly advice when that train has long left the station and is not coming back.

However, while she's the wrong person to be spewing advice to him, she's objectively right, and I think what she's right about is the tune of this arc: Eunyung's transition into adulthood is going to be hard.

And that's also why Eunyung arcs are more common than Haejoon arcs: Haejoon has some serious mental issues related to guilt, but he's a rather well-rounded young man, with sense to spare. But due to a total lack of adult guidance for so many years, Eunyung only has his good temperament and the wish to be better to go by. He's still a teen, still inclined to instant gratification, and he wants to enjoy his financial freedom now.

Yes, he needs to learn to save for a rainy day. Yes, his looks won't last forever. But he will never "get it" if the ones trying to reason with him about these things are sorry excuses for human beings who failed him at every turn.

The good omen is that Haejoon (and maybe even Juwan) has noticed the signs of recklessness in Eunyung's money management. I think now's the time for Haejoon to be the big brother again.

But first, we need to get rid of the nuisances. I hope Eunyung has realised that hiding his "family" mess from school and friends creates more problems than it solves, and decides to come clean and tell everyone who needs to know, "I'm not in good terms with these two, and they don't speak for me."
You get a like for the great 1st paragraph. Kudos. I hope you let me use it in future.
 
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... The hell?

You just... Either have a narrow reading (which is fine), or you actually didn't read.

Neither showed the slightest bit of remorse? Did the text messages not evidence that explicitly? Did the mother saying the father really regrets it not explicitly say that he shows remorse?

You fundamentally ignored that.

Let me be clear. Eunyung doesn't have to forgive them. He doesn't have to accept them. They might not be deserving of any of that. But you are outright lying when you say neither of them showed any remorse. They literally say it to his face as well as evidenced it through actions.

You're probably going to say that it doesn't go far enough, that it's too late now and that they don't deserve a second chance. Okay. Whatever. That's NOT my issue. It's that you directly said they showed no remorse when they clearly do.

---

This whole arc is a parallel to Haejoon's own arc with his father. And maybe it'll be that the parents want to try to be better. Maybe it'll be that they don't and are just being crap. I don't know. But the parallel to Haejoon is there.
Remorse is acknowledging you did bad things and feeling guilty because of that. Wanting to be a parent suddenly just because he’s sending money isn’t remorse and the only thing that is implied here is that the really don’t realize they did something wrong. That’s is not how you approach someone when you feel remorseful. Normally, people say sorry and try to explain themselves about the issue, not acting like it never happened.
 
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omg the comments... I'm just glad its not me this time
please tell them to stop, our liege
 
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Remorse is acknowledging you did bad things and feeling guilty because of that. Wanting to be a parent suddenly just because he’s sending money isn’t remorse and the only thing that is implied here is that the really don’t realize they did something wrong. That’s is not how you approach someone when you feel remorseful. Normally, people say sorry and try to explain themselves about the issue, not acting like it never happened.
"Normally"

I'm fine with most of the rest of your post because those are generally your feelings and valuations. That's fine. I'm not going to tell you how to feel.

But "normally" is where you are...okay, not wrong, but you're not right. When you say "normally", you are not talking about your opinion. You are talking about the real world. And you are not right.

I say this as someone who literally dealt with hundreds of cases of abusive and neglectful parents. Maybe thousands. I didn't keep track.

It is actually quite common to have a parent not apologize and to still actually do better. It is also common for them to apologize. Yes, that does happen.

But you are ignoring reality when you say what you said.
 
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I love these babies so much I just want to protect them from all the harm T-T
 
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"Normally"

I'm fine with most of the rest of your post because those are generally your feelings and valuations. That's fine. I'm not going to tell you how to feel.

But "normally" is where you are...okay, not wrong, but you're not right. When you say "normally", you are not talking about your opinion. You are talking about the real world. And you are not right.

I say this as someone who literally dealt with hundreds of cases of abusive and neglectful parents. Maybe thousands. I didn't keep track.

It is actually quite common to have a parent not apologize and to still actually do better. It is also common for them to apologize. Yes, that does happen.

But you are ignoring reality when you say what you said.
Sorry but I disagree. The rest of my post is based on actual knowledge. The Cambridge dictionary states, that the word remorseful means “feeling sad and guilty”. Additionally, remorse is explained as “a feeling of sadness and being sorry for something you have done” or “a feeling of guilt and sadness for sth bad you did”. Nothing in my definition of remorseful is based on “feelings” or “valuations”. You may be a social worker but I am literally learning the language academically, so I know better than talking about language and definitions based on “feelings”.

Now, the world normally is described like this: “If something happens normally, it happens in the usual or expected way”. I don’t know how you interpreted the word, but I hope this definition helps you understand that normally is not synonym of always.

I’m not ignoring reality, not at all. Is because I’ve acknowledged the full extent of reality that I’m able to comprehend that their actions do not follow the definition that this language has given to us. Failing to address the issue and not taking responsibility for your actions are not really an indication of remorse. I agree with the idea of having to see the whole situation before judging, but it is not far-fetched to assume that they’ve not been showing that.

This phrase of mine is the only thing you can judge, because it is an opinion: “That’s is not how you approach someone when you feel remorseful.”
 
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Sorry but I disagree. The rest of my post is based on actual knowledge. The Cambridge dictionary states, that the word remorseful means “feeling sad and guilty”. Additionally, remorse is explained as “a feeling of sadness and being sorry for something you have done” or “a feeling of guilt and sadness for sth bad you did”. Nothing in my definition of remorseful is based on “feelings” or “valuations”. You may be a social worker but I am literally learning the language academically, so I know better than talking about language and definitions based on “feelings”.

Now, the world normally is described like this: “If something happens normally, it happens in the usual or expected way”. I don’t know how you interpreted the word, but I hope this definition helps you understand that normally is not synonym of always.

I’m not ignoring reality, not at all. Is because I’ve acknowledged the full extent of reality that I’m able to comprehend that their actions do not follow the definition that this language has given to us. Failing to address the issue and not taking responsibility for your actions are not really an indication of remorse. I agree with the idea of having to see the whole situation before judging, but it is not far-fetched to assume that they’ve not been showing that.

This phrase of mine is the only thing you can judge, because it is an opinion: “That’s is not how you approach someone when you feel remorseful.”
I'm sorry, but you're still not correct.

I have no issue with the definitions of remorseful. I am only talking about normally.

Yes, it is very common and typical for a parent to not actually apologize and to nevertheless still do better. For the type of work that I've done, that is actually the MOST common thing, to explicitly deny an apology yet still do better.

If you said it is not normal to jaywalk on this street and I replied by showing you evidence that it happens 75% of the time, then that would mean you are not correct. It would mean that it is normal to jaywalk.

Here, you have said "normally", an apology is given. I'm telling you that's it is actually very normal, expected, usual for an apology to not be given.
 

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