This reasoning is why victims of sexual abuse and harrassment are scared to come out with their stories, worried they will be called "girly" "gay" or "weird"! Hope you can educate yourself on this subject before posting insensitive comments <3
I wouldn’t say for guys it’s that they’re afraid of being called girly or weird. Rather just being judged, diminished, or emasculated in general. It doesn’t need to be a specific phrase. There’s no support groups for male SA victims. No one has sympathy for you, they just laugh. A good example is men’s prisons. As a society we literally laugh and tell ourselves that men locked in jail deserve that kind of treatment or worse. It’s pretty fucked up, I’d rather be in solitary with some books.
I honestly have gotten more support from men than from women though. Dudes generally are a bit more sympathetic on average, women fucking laugh at you or try and victim blame. Like what did you do to them to cause them to do that to you. While men are more likely to say, you fucking moron how could you not like getting some. The reactions are distinct, but women tend to display similar reactions to guys victim blaming girls for that kind of thing.
I did invite the first girl over that assaulted me in my home, but when she hopped on top of me and held me down trying to force me to fuck her and push my rope into her because of how uncomfortable and drunk I was. That was not consensual.
The 2nd girl snapped photos and set up video cameras in her college dorm documenting most of the encounter and spread that around. I thought I’d be mostly safe since typically guys do that sort of thing and I was proven wrong. I should clarify I had no knowledge of the cameras.
The touch thing is so true though. I had a minor problem with my gf the other day and she said something that basically made me relive all of my trauma. Then while I was processing that, she berated me for sitting alone thinking after a shower with a “murderous look on my face”. I had to explain to her how that made me feel, for days I cringed at her slightest touch. She became one of my untrusted people instantly. But it took me sitting alone and realizing I was punishing her for the actions of others to be able to open myself back up to her.
Source: my experiences having told others of one lady sexually assaulting me, and another of someone spreading revenge porn of me.
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk. Sorry for the long read
