I've always thought the cliche of female frienships being toxic was hyperbole and I still do, but why is this such a common theme in media in general. It can't really be that bad can it?
I try to keep in mind Ursula K. Le Guin advice: “To learn which questions are unanswerable, and not to answer them: this skill is most needful in times of stress and darkness.”
Are female friendships toxic? I wonder. With 4.09 billion women around the world, I guess some of them will have toxic relationships, but does that translate to the whole population? I like to believe the answer is “no”.
There might be social circles where group dynamics reward such behaviour. I remember reading a paper stating that the strongest predictor for divorce was having a friend circle full of divorcees. The general idea is that if you are having trouble in your marriage and all your friends are divorced, your values will also be biased towards divorce. Does that account for strong personal belief and faith? No. It just suggests that if you immerse your mind into stories that goes in a given direction, sooner or later your mind will learn to wander in that same direction.
Now… You mentioned “media”, probably “corporate media”, which runs on two things: your attention and advertisement. Selling the story that friendships are failed (for women and men alike) opens venues for new services like private detectives, rental friends, etc.
So in this era of abundance of communication, of post-truth, and where social-media is some sort of communicational-casino (post stuff, you might go viral and get rich), it is hard to discern what is reality and is not, so… Take a deep breath and look inwards: is this questions answerable? I, myself, don't know the answer.