Ah yes, the good ol' zero tension cliffhanger that you read and just immediately know it doesn't really matter in the long run. Even if this is actually something "serious" and not just a cold or something stupid, I imagine it will be resolved pretty quick and easy. Honestly, I think it's that stupid narration that takes most of the wind out of its sails. It's kind of trying too hard to up the drama, vaguely referring to it as "the incident." If it had just not bothered with the narration and shown her passed out in the rain like that, you can at least get a first reaction of "Oh, no, what happened?" rather than "Okay, what now? Oh, I see." Maybe?