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Yukiechi
I completely agree with your point about proofreading difficulty. I can't claim I have done proofreading, but it's not hard to get a kind stranger/person to help make corrections to a written piece. As evidenced by things like schoolwork.
As said by others, people would even willingly just do the proofreading/typesetting if the translator okayed it. Which... I'd personally want to hear about myself. I have some time available, and I wouldn't mind having an excuse to try proofreading/typesetting.
With that said, I'm going to play devil's advocate a bit...
Not everyone has the same levels of standards. Not everyone has to have a similar mentality/ thought process. It's nice when people do care and have similar or higher standards, but it's not something everyone needs to have for anything, hobbies inclusive.
It's through these different mentalities and levels of standards that you can determine what is good and bad. 20-30 years back in gaming, localized japanese games had translation quality that would be outright unacceptable now. At that time though, that was perhaps okay... and if the player/consumer is only exposed to that, it might feel to be "the norm".
Now again, I personally don't mind the hideous English. Particularly here for this story, since its enjoyment level is not highly determined by how well the translation is done. But I agree it is an objectively bad translation, and should be proofread.
As a random addition, I've noticed people who know/speak more than one language fluently tend to lose the subtleties of languages. It's why proofreading "might" be hard... not defending the poor English though. There's also the emotional aspect of multiple languages (English in this case) too; again, I agree with your main point, but I disagree with how you wrote it out with excessive cursing. With how you wrote that out, it might just create more argument with no progress on what you desire. English (possibly other languages) is weird like that. Genuine no offense intended, just something I felt I should say based on my own experiences.