My mind keeps flipping to Mahoro putting a GPS tracker on her husband is absolute toxic manipulator behavior.
Then I remember for her the relationship is over; Rei could be completely faithful and she'd still want a divorce so the relationship is already over.
And I just want to reiterate:
(even when we forget that Rei is definitely cheating because that's how these go)
The relationship is technically salvageable, but it is no slight on Mahoro is she doesn't want to put in the time. and gd, anyone who thinks she needs to save the marriage after this toxic shit needs Jesus.
This is very, very common. It is not comical or unrealistic at all. If you ever met narcissists like Rei in real life you'd know.
You're correct and it should be noted that this isn't gender-specific, and isn't related to romantic relationships, this is just the actions of abusive narcissists of all types trying to control people around them.
This can be work, family, and even friends.
Even in this chapter he noticed his wife is overwhelmed because of work but instead of helping her, he asks for a filter coffee so that he could say "ohh you are busy maybe you should quit work". This is not something one does unwittingly. (Like some people are trying to portray)
Exactly. This chapter Rei going from just "dense and inept" to "shithead". He doesn't even offer sympathy and only offers a solution that get him what he wants.
I'd also say: Its not just that he doesn't offer Mahoro no assistance, he
actively makes life harder for her. Wanting his special coffee, not telling her ate with coworkers (even if it was on a whim, "Hey I'm going to get dinner with the guys" at the last minute at least lets her package up left overs and know she doesn't need to wait to eat)
Rei can tell his wife is definitely different from before and is probably not gonna revert anytime soon if ever. I fully expect him to go total "You wanna make my life harder instead of telling me what's bothering you? Two can play at that game" mode.
Now im wanting Rei to get divorced from Mahoro at this point. Imagine if he was able to show all this evidence of "She invaded my phone, she stalked me from home when I went out, she put a gps tracker on me!"
Violations of trust/privacy are categorically worse than laziness anyday of the week imo
Yeah Mahoro is not squeaky clean but she is playing the hand she's dealt by the legal system. Remember she's wanting a divorce no matter what; I have had coworkers/friends start down this sort of thing and I just tell them "If you're to that point, the relationship is over". Mahoro is to that point, she's just gathering proof so she can get a divorce.
Also. don't think Rei wants to be told what's bothering Mahoro. He just wants his fuckmaid-minus-the-fuck to continue to do the chores.
Another worrying thing is lots of people in this forum look at Rei and think he's the good guy.
Its less he's a good guy and more he hasn't been shown to have done anything
wrong up to this point (
to reiterate: we know he's cheating but we haven't seen any proof just the vaguest insinuations, and for Josei that's supposed to be enough because its wish fulfillment for the audience in the same way Isekai protagonists just get a status screen. But that doesn't change it hasn't been SHOWN). He's just self centered and dense, and his wife hasn't said anything to him about his behavior irritating her, and even when she suspicions are shown false she continues to be convinced of Rei's guilt.
Additionally he's not being shown to have any financially destructive behavior: he doesn't gamble, he doesn't put them in the poor house, he brings home a paycheck and supports his wife (
becasue he pushed her into working part time to control her) and finances their lifestyle.
@superlucci covers a lot of the issues with Mahoro's behavior.
What the minority of people reading have noticed however, is how Mahoro has a really bad habit of bottling up her frustration with certain actions that Rei has engaged in for months if not years, without any serious indication from Mahoro that is upset from Rei's PoV until recently, and instead of seriously trying to talk to Rei about these things, she instead gives up if the slightest delay of the conversation happens. Which results in her having incredibly warped perceptions on what is actually going on to such a degree that she will:
1. Defend friends who betrayed her via cheating, over a husband that rejected said cheater.
2. Be so assured that husband is cheating with someone in particular, then when proven wrong, will go back to being assured that husband is cheating with next suspect in her mind, all while having zero legit evidence of anyone, including trusting the words/evidence of an attempted cheater as legit justification.
3. Engage in such severe violations of privacy that if the roles were reversed, would easily see the majority of commenters talking about how controlling and possessive Rei is as a result.
So on the one hand we have a lazy,spoiled,manchild who's greatest sins seem to be not doing kitchen stuff (which he has no reason to think is an issue due to Mahoro doing it all the time), not in the mood for sex(until he is and is denied) for affection and child making purposes, voluntarily convincing Mahoro to not go full time(which she agreed to, under the assumption she will have a baby, which has not been fulfilled, which is indeed a serious negative if Rei turns out to have been lying about)
These things on the surface, are not inherently malicious/manipulative and could be explained by laziness/inattentiveness, but certainly has the possibility to be, and if so, will definitely make Rei the absolute worse in comparison to any negative Mahoro has done (so far)
Versus Mahoro, who doesn't have any negative social graces like Rei does. But has, on panel with no room for interpretation since we see her thoughts, a malicious/manipulating personality when she is certain somebody is doing wrong to her, that she has no problem violating privacy and stalking a loved one, that would absolutely get her shredded in the court of public opinion
So basically Rei certainly has the potential for what's he's done so far, and what he may do in the future, turn out to be motivated by malicious/manipulating purpose, but currently it's not guaranteed at all. Versus Mahoro who is undeniably engaging in malicious/manipulating activity, due to us seeing her thoughts, all because she is absolutely certain that Rei is cheating, which she hasnt proved in the slightest.
Exactly this. We know she's right because that's how the genre goes, but some of this shit is pretty fucked up from Mahoro if you assume Rei is innocent.
She doesn't actually talk to her husband, just builds resentment. And this isn't new behavior, she presumably knew he was like this while they were dating and earlier in the marriage. Plus the way she responded to Kyouko vs how she treats Rei is pretty fucked up if you think about it; Kyouko gets a free pass and sympathy for actually trying to seduce her friends husband. Rei gets shit on because he was too harsh in rejecting her.
The only thing I'd point out is I'd add a lot of
until this chapter to mitigating Rei's blame. The thing with the coffee was straight up asshole behavior. AS
@Nosebleed points out he doesn't just ask her for coffee, he wants special high-effort coffee, then barely touches it. Doesn't put it in a thermos or a to-go cup, he dumps it in the sink and doesn't even rinse out the mug. Doesn't even dump it on the drain, its at the edge of the sink. That's going from just "dense and inconsiderate" to "deliberately malicious". The shampoo earlier thing could be a simple mistake but now has a different light as more likely being an active choice of "fuck you" instead of a "I don't know what I should buy!"
There are guys like Rei, sure. And there are even more women who think they have/had a Rei, but they've fallen into a cognitive trap of ignoring/rationalizing their own failings without extending the same charity to their partner, sometimes egged on by toxic friends, and not trying to do anything constructive like talk to him. And those women are part of the target audience for this manga.
That's why I keep waiting for Mahoro to make even the slightest effort at trying to talk to the guy before jumping to divorce. She'd probably just confirm that there's no hope - and that would be fine; certainly I myself think there is no hope unless there's some unreliable narration going on. But there's a funny thing about being wrong: From the inside, it doesn't feel like being wrong. If she doesn't think communication is worth a shot, then she's toxic too and her future relationships aren't looking bright either.
(Except, of course, that the author is free to abandon realism at any time and make things work out for her by authorial fiat - wouldn't be the first time.)
("but then why focus on judging Mahoro if Rei is also bad???" - Because the narrative is doing a fine job displaying Rei's flaws and I don't need to belabor the point, that's why. Mahoro gets more scrutiny because the narrative isn't giving her enough of it.)
I think a lot of things are are getting smoothed, skipped, or assumed-due-to-genre to keep the manga at a reasonable length. But like you the 'tell don't show' and complete excusing of Mahoro's behavior sits wrong with me, but at some point it is like questioning why the Beautiful Queen of Class and Secret Idol is even bothering to put up Otaku-kun - sure she saw him watering the flowers at school but certainly she's seen other people perform acts of kindness.
Legit have you ever been in this flavor of toxic relationship? Like you make all sorts of excuses for the bad behavior and blame yourself, especially when post bad behavior they flip the script and offer some conciliatory gesture without ever apologizing (which I wonder if Rei will do next). It often takes something earth shattering or hitting rock bottom to even see the pattern for what it is - which yeah that's the arc of this story. All to say that it's way more complicated than "she had many opportunities to call him out". And that's before layering in the power dynamic of him being the primary breadwinner & Japense divorce laws.
I was in a toxic relationship with a woman not even one tenth as toxic as Rei, and there is a lot of "I need to talk about this, but I'll hold it down until later so it won't cause a fight" and then its like a year and a half later and this is more shit you're just putting up with.
And you really get into a fucked up state because you love the other person, and because it happened so slowly, you don't realize how fucked up things had gotten until you're out of it.
And I think that's part of what's missing is (besides the fact he's not been murdered) at no point are we shown any real relationship between Mahoro and Rei, just her quiet seething loathing for him.
What use does the author have for a GPS tracker?
Gotta know where the body is for the yearly obon visit.
"I know I'm reading a story about a wife with a shitty husband.... But WHAT ABOUT MEN???"
"Gender equality, but also fuck men"
