99/100 times if someone is waiting for marriage to have sex, they are extremely unlikely to actually attempt to research and learn from other people, or experiment and communicate with their partner to get good at it on their own. They will just assume their partner is satisfied because they aren't complaining, and go on with their day. This is not a small sample size or uncommon thing, it's not a mystery or controversial topic, if you hang around with any women that are willing to talk about sex around you, you'd know this is an extremely common complaint. If you're one of the few people that waited, and then actually cared enough about it, your partner, and had the willingness and openness to get good at it after marriage, awesome, you're in an extremely small minority.Bro. It works for some people and it doesn't for others. Sex is a learning curve.
Please tell your therapist this instead of MD comments.It would be kinda hilarious if they get married before sex just like a Christian couple, and later find out one of them is irredeemably unfixably terrible in bed and hates sex, and the other has a massive sex drive and is terrific at pleasing their partner. So, just like a lot of Christian couples that never find out if they are sexually compatible before marriage.
"Sexual compatibility" is a strange justification for premarital sex, particularly when pleasing your partner during sex is something that always requires work-- premarital or not. "Irredeemably unfixably terrible" is an even stranger qualification more fitting a case where one of the partners is a paraplegic or has a gonadal abnormality/disorder.It would be kinda hilarious if they get married before sex just like a Christian couple, and later find out one of them is irredeemably unfixably terrible in bed and hates sex, and the other has a massive sex drive and is terrific at pleasing their partner. So, just like a lot of Christian couples that never find out if they are sexually compatible before marriage.
...it's literally impossible to "get good at sex" "on your own". That's not how sex works. There's research you do on your own, but it's still your specific partner's needs you're responding to. That's who you're learning from, most of all.99/100 times if someone is waiting for marriage to have sex, they are extremely unlikely to actually attempt to research and learn from other people, or experiment and communicate with their partner to get good at it on their own.
If there's no complaints or even requests, then of course there's not going to be a cause for improvement. The party that's leaving the other unsatisfied could stand to be more perceptive, but you're recounting people talking about a communication issue-- which is more fundamental than sex.They will just assume their partner is satisfied because they aren't complaining, and go on with their day.
Good response. Some of the 'argumentation' on this topic is sad. I doubt it's even projection but other just regurgitating things said by others. Find what your partner likes, repeat. Be open to their suggestions and willing to provide yours and thats all you need. May sleep with 100 people doing 100 different moves first then marry a partner that just really likes whatever this person derides as "Christian sex.""The biggest thing I've lacked up to this point is determination. I won't waver in the face of insecurities anymore. No more half-measures. I'm determined to see this through.
...so, I'm the Armored Titan--"
"Sexual compatibility" is a strange justification for premarital sex, particularly when pleasing your partner during sex is something that always requires work-- premarital or not. "Irredeemably unfixably terrible" is an even stranger qualification more fitting a case where one of the partners is a paraplegic.
Sakurai was in tears in this chapter while acknowledging that he wasn't meeting his girlfriend's needs, while framing it as something that needed to be fixed. That's a conversation that wouldn't be out place in or out of marriage.
If you don't have a moral bias against premarital sex, then these excuses for it are unnecessary. If you really value a person, even to the point of wanting to marry them, evaluating "sexual compatibility" (assuming both parties are willing to have sex-- one party being unwilling is separate from whether they suck at it) shouldn't be able to yield a result that convinces you that you have no future with that person. In which case, you're still stuck with the task of improving that circumstance.
...it's literally impossible to get good at sex "on your own". That's not how sex works. There's research you do on your own, but it's still your specific partner's needs you're responding to.
If there's no complaints or even requests, then of course there's not going to be a cause for improvement. The party that's leaving the other unsatisfied could stand to be more perceptive, but you're recounting people talking about a communication issue-- which is more fundamental than sex.
You are just making shit up to back up coomer lifestyle.99/100 times if someone is waiting for marriage to have sex, they are extremely unlikely to actually attempt to research and learn from other people, or experiment and communicate with their partner to get good at it on their own. They will just assume their partner is satisfied because they aren't complaining, and go on with their day. This is not a small sample size or uncommon thing, it's not a mystery or controversial topic, if you hang around with any women that are willing to talk about sex around you, you'd know this is an extremely common complaint. If you're one of the few people that waited, and then actually cared enough about it, your partner, and had the willingness and openness to get good at it after marriage, awesome, you're in an extremely small minority.
And of course it's a learning curve, that's my whole point. It's something you get good at, just like anything else. If you're too scared and puritanical about it that you don't do it until marriage, it's highly likely it's stigmatized so much that you won't be encouraged to actually put in the effort to get skilled at it, even with your marriage partner.