Shin'yuu no Furin Aite wa, Otto deshita - Vol. 3 Ch. 17

[wai_ma1]

To be clear, are you actually claiming that micromanaging - controlling other people is equally toxic to not being genuinely open? I don't want to misrepresent you but I have seen others with this sentiment and it's very hard for me to take seriously.

No, not what I am claiming. What I said was "Men and women can be equally toxic in relationships like friendships" I mean they can both be equally toxic at the same rate. Not that what they do that is toxic is more toxic than the other. If I had meant that, I would've said "What men and women do can be equally toxic in relationships".

Not to downplay friends being very closed off and unavailable, but it's a bit of a reach to put that alongside actively trying to dominate and/or destroy each other's lives on a toxicity scale.
I'm a simple man, if a friend falls off the face of the world for a few years and comes back like nothing ever happened and doesn't want to talk about it, we're still friends.
If I find out a friend unrepentantly tried to undermine someone's marriage, we are no longer friends until they seriously change and consider that at least as evil and detestable as I find it.

Again, not what I said. I tried to use an example that's equal in terms of "bad" for both women and men. Apologies if it didn't come off that way. I didn't say "There are women who will use any chance to backstab and take out their insecurities on one another to bring each other down to their perceived lesser level and seek domination, there is a hierarchy that must be followed and everyone wants to be at the top by any means necessary." along side my example for men. I said "There are women who will pick at and micromanage each other and will not let shit go, there is a hierarchy that must be followed and everyone wants to be at the top by any means necessary." I'm not referring to the manga as an example if that's what's confusing you.

Becky not letting go that Sandra missed her birthday party last year and Allison feeling the need to constantly text Becky and Sandra 100+ times before their beach meetup to make sure everyone will be there on time and nobody forgets something and everything will go according to her plan is toxic and annoying but they're not actively trying to destroy each other's lives. Sandra doesn't want to be that rag and admit that Becky and Allison are being annoying, because there is a hierarchy to be respected, and doing so will reduce her to the lowest rung; a bitch, in her toxic friend group.

Same as to how Joe will never talk to his friends about his depression and he feels deeply insecure that his friends have girlfriends and that he fears he might die alone. Of course, he jokes about this so his friends do know, but they simply joke right back and call him "The Virgin" even when Joe is trying to be serious before moving onto the next conversation. You'd have to waterboard Joe to get him to truly and deeply admit these things to his friends without 100 layers of irony and plausible deniability on top of because Joe doesn't want to be that downer and admit he feels that his friends do not care about him because there is a hierarchy to be respected, and doing so will reduce him to the lowest rung; a bitch, in his toxic friend group.

These two examples are both inherently toxic ways to live and have friends and be friends but I didn't intend to imply that one is worse or better than the other. One is communicating too much without any substance and one is communicating too little without any substance. That's why I chose them since they were relatively balanced. Apologies if my wording was confusing and caused a misunderstanding.

Discussing averages or common trends does not mean "all women, all men etc", I made sure to be explicit that I was referring to a common phenomenon rather than every woman on the planet.
But feel free to throw insults and paint me as whatever character you like.

Nah, I just used your comment as an example of that kind of thing since it fit the bill and I found it funny that's all! Also, woah woah woaaah. Calm down on the persecution complex. I had no intention to insult you or paint you as some boogeyman.

 

[MrMeh]

Nah, I just used your comment as an example of that kind of thing since it fit the bill and I found it funny that's all! Also, woah woah woaaah. Calm down on the persecution complex. I had no intention to insult you or paint you.

I'm not sure it did fit the bill though, maybe on a surface level.
I was discussing the breakdown in social health, which happens to be more prominent in women and has in recent years (half a century) built up in mentally weak men.
As well as calling out gender politics which I hate on all sides, not just female.

But fair enough, I actually completely agreed with your point, just didn't think I was actually an example of a the kind of person you were describing.

 

[wai_ma1]

I'm not sure it did fit the bill though, maybe on a surface level.
I was discussing the breakdown in social health, which happens to be more prominent in women and has in recent years (half a century) built up in mentally weak men.
As well as calling out gender politics which I hate on all sides, not just female.

But fair enough, I actually completely agreed with your point, just didn't think I was actually an example of a the kind of person you were describing.

Nah, you definitely did (and there's nothing inherently wrong with that) but I'm glad we could agree on other points!

 

[MrMeh]

Nah, you definitely did (and there's nothing inherently wrong with that) but I'm glad we could agree on other points!

There very much is and I'd like to know why you thought such was the case?

 

[wai_ma1]

There very much is and I'd like to know why you thought such was the case?

Look man, it's okay to be wrong. You were just a good example to use, it's not that deep.

 

[MrMeh]

Look man, it's okay to be wrong. You were just a good example to use, it's not that deep.

You're very good at question avoidance thing, you should be a town councillor.
I honestly wanted to hear your explanation, but no worries.

 

[wai_ma1]

You're very good at question avoidance, you should be a town councillor.
I honestly wanted to hear your explanation, but no worries.

Man, if it helps you sleep at night to paint me as such, I can't argue with that.

 

[MrMeh]

Man, if it helps you sleep at night to paint me as such, I can't argue with that.

I'm trying to show you that rhetoric is bad manners.
You end up insulting someone's character without providing a reason why, which makes that person feel cheated.
But I'm not going to keep this going, have a nice day.

 

[wai_ma1]

I'm trying to show you that rhetoric is bad manners.
You end up insulting someone's character without providing a reason why, which makes that person feel cheated.
But I'm not going to keep this going, have a nice day.

Well, I'm glad you could get that all out. I'm sorry I couldn't validate you, you have to search for that within. You have a nice day too.

 

[MrMeh]

Well, I'm glad you could get that all out. I'm sorry I couldn't validate you, you have to search for that within. You have a nice day too.

I gave you an out to leave things amicably, you didn't need to be snarky.

 

[wai_ma1]

I gave you an out to leave things amicably, you didn't need to be snarky.

Dude, I wasn't being snarky. Again, not everything is a slight against you. You really need to calm that persecution complex.

 

[MrMeh]

Dude, I wasn't being snarky. Again, not everything is a slight against you. You really need to calm that persecution complex.

Look it's not complicated.
Stop labelling me, I don't like it on principle as it's slander.

 

[wai_ma1]

Look it's not complicated.
Stop labelling me, I don't like it on principle.

I uderstand. I apologize, I didn't know you were extremely sensitive to that sort of thing. I didn't realize it was a trigger for you. Just remember, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.