Shin'yuu no Furin Aite wa, Otto deshita - Vol. 3 Ch. 21

[tototototoo]

I would probably be overjoyed there's someone willing to support me for life while I do almost nothing all day every day.

The work of a stay at home parent never ends. It’s not a 9 to 5 you can clock out of and even without kids being a housewife/husband comes with a load of responsibilities.

And her wanting the same social status is regarding her wanting to work a full time job. She wants to be equal to him and not working full time, something she has been wanting to do for a while, is preventing that. She can’t be dependent on him when she’s considering divorce.

Ngl man you just sound like a incel

 

[superlucci]

the cheating at this point is completely irrelevant my dude, he's been talking about having a baby since chapter 1 while not having sex with her, he is completely uncaring and oblivious as to how this might appear to her, the most likely scenario is that he's been wanting out of the relationship for a while and he doesn't wanna get tied down to her

and yeah no shit she wants a divorce, she's outright saying as much, she's not lying to herself about it, but how exactly would it seem to you when you partner is saying "don't get a job, a pregnant woman shouldn't work, I'll cover the costs" while not wanting to actually get you pregnant for god knows how long? that would appear like an attempt to be controlling, but I imagine in this case it's more to do with his mom and the values she instilled into him, she's also probably the reason he doesn't wanna just break it off, he can have this illusion of a perfect life to sell to her so she doesn't lose her shit when she finds out her son is gonna get divorced

by now the mc is already out, she just wants to avoid having a huge argument that will lead nowhere, and give herself some time to get a full time job so she doesn't have to scramble with 0 options once the relationship is over

I'm not saying she is faultless, if now she's avoiding an argument because she no longer cares and wants to set up her future, in the past I imagine she avoided having arguments about the small things we've seen as to not annoy him, which is obviously bad as it doesn't give him any opportunity to fix those things and just reinforces that they aren't even things to be fixed

And yet she hasn't once had a convo with Rei about the situation. No I don't care that a random phone call happened to interrupt her question one time and then she gave up and never asked again. There is nothing stopping her from asking Rei just like she did here.

If she doesn't communicate with Rei about this, how is he supposed to know there is an issue? What if he doesn't want a baby this year but next? Does Mahoro even think about this line of reasoning? No, she just goes straight to thinking "He will never want a kid because hes not pursuing it right NOW with me, and I won't bother to ask why and instead bottle these negative feelings to fuel my further actions against him"

This is not reasonable behavior. Communication of her dissatisfaction is key and she refuses to do so if 1 single random event cuts her off. It's insane.

My comment about why she is getting a divorce isn't about what you typed. I'm saying that she's trying to act like Rei saying no to her initially about the full time work is somehow motivated by him wanting to have power fantasy over here, as opposed to literally anything else, and then is trying to use that made up justification to say this is why she needs to have full time work. No that is not the reason. The reason is that she simply wants a divorce. Nothing more nothing less. She's trying to make her decision seem more emotionally digestible rather than the 100% self motivated action it is.

How would it seem to me if I was in Mahoros situation? Well I wouldn't have to worry about guessing with incomplete information since all I would have to do is literally ASK REI why and judge his response. Depending on what it is I can then make an informed decision. But Mahoro apparently thinks that she shouldn't have to bring her issues up, and even if she happens to do so once, if a random phone call happens then in her mind it's time to give up communicating then. It's completely absurd. How many of you just forever stop to ask a question to a family member that's been pressing your mind for so long simply because of the slightest delay? Nobody. For good reason. They can just ask literally right after w/e the delay was.

Rei being controlling by what standard? He has been having the status quo with his wife for God knows how long, until chapter 1 starts. From his perspective, since this has been going on for so long with no pushback, he is obviously going to think everything is A okay. Since he has no reason to think otherwise. Now that Mahoro has grown a spine, this would be the perfect opportunity to bring up w/e issues she has had with him, but apparently just refuses to do so and goes straight to divorce? Christ. The whole purposes of communication in a marriage is to make sure these negatives are nipped in the bud before they grow. But Mahoro has allowed these self imposed negatives to eat at her psyche for so long, that it has made her miserable.

And this is not to mention all of the lies and gaslighting she is actively doing here. If the roles were reversed we would call for his head. Granted it's very well possible that Reibhas been operating like this the entire time. But it's still unknown for Rei. While for Mahoro it isn't.

TLDR every single issue Mahoro has had in this marriage is due to her refusing to communicate, and even when she does, if the slightest Act of God random event happens, she will refuse to continue her inquiry, resulting in bottling of negative emotions in a endless feedback loop

 

[cogniferous]

And yet she hasn't once had a convo with Rei about the situation. No I don't care that a random phone call happened to interrupt her question one time and then she gave up and never asked again. There is nothing stopping her from asking Rei just like she did here.

If she doesn't communicate with Rei about this, how is he supposed to know there is an issue? What if he doesn't want a baby this year but next? Does Mahoro even think about this line of reasoning? No, she just goes straight to thinking "He will never want a kid because hes not pursuing it right NOW with me, and I won't bother to ask why and instead bottle these negative feelings to fuel my further actions against him"

This is not reasonable behavior. Communication of her dissatisfaction is key and she refuses to do so if 1 single random event cuts her off. It's insane.

My comment about why she is getting a divorce isn't about what you typed. I'm saying that she's trying to act like Rei saying no to her initially about the full time work is somehow motivated by him wanting to have power fantasy over here, as opposed to literally anything else, and then is trying to use that made up justification to say this is why she needs to have full time work. No that is not the reason. The reason is that she simply wants a divorce. Nothing more nothing less. She's trying to make her decision seem more emotionally digestible rather than the 100% self motivated action it is.

How would it seem to me if I was in Mahoros situation? Well I wouldn't have to worry about guessing with incomplete information since all I would have to do is literally ASK REI why and judge his response. Depending on what it is I can then make an informed decision. But Mahoro apparently thinks that she shouldn't have to bring her issues up, and even if she happens to do so once, if a random phone call happens then in her mind it's time to give up communicating then. It's completely absurd. How many of you just forever stop to ask a question to a family member that's been pressing your mind for so long simply because of the slightest delay? Nobody. For good reason. They can just ask literally right after w/e the delay was.

Rei being controlling by what standard? He has been having the status quo with his wife for God knows how long, until chapter 1 starts. From his perspective, since this has been going on for so long with no pushback, he is obviously going to think everything is A okay. Since he has no reason to think otherwise. Now that Mahoro has grown a spine, this would be the perfect opportunity to bring up w/e issues she has had with him, but apparently just refuses to do so and goes straight to divorce? Christ. The whole purposes of communication in a marriage is to make sure these negatives are nipped in the bud before they grow. But Mahoro has allowed these self imposed negatives to eat at her psyche for so long, that it has made her miserable.

And this is not to mention all of the lies and gaslighting she is actively doing here. If the roles were reversed we would call for his head. Granted it's very well possible that Reibhas been operating like this the entire time. But it's still unknown for Rei. While for Mahoro it isn't.

TLDR every single issue Mahoro has had in this marriage is due to her refusing to communicate, and even when she does, if the slightest Act of God random event happens, she will refuse to continue her inquiry, resulting in bottling of negative emotions in a endless feedback loop

last reply, do you think everything needs to be said out loud to figure out a decent picture of the situation? what reason could there possibly be for him to deny her getting a full time job under the pretext of "pregnant women shouldn't work" while NOT having sex with her?

you talk about how it would seem to you if you were Mahoro, but I very much doubt you can put yourself in her shoes seeing as you can't figure out why the above situation would be enough for most people to be done with that relationship

him being a clueless motherfucker(if he even is that) is not a free ticket to act this way

you also talk about gaslighting but up until the point she was done with the relationship the only one doing the gaslighting was him, "don't work, you don't need a job, I can provide for our family and kid", all the while not trying to get her pregnant, maybe he just doesn't know how babies are made I guess?

I already said she's not faultless and needed to communicate better, but the time for that is long, long gone, there's no more communication to be had here, I want you to really really try to think of a single reason that makes any sense for him to do what he's doing, because the only one I can find is that he doesn't want to be tied down to her while wanting to maintain the illusion that they're a happy family(for his mom, for himself, really doesn't matter)

 

[Mute2732]

The work of a stay at home parent never ends. It’s not a 9 to 5 you can clock out of and even without kids being a housewife/husband comes with a load of responsibilities.

Dog what are you talking about. It's an apartment not an endless sprawling maze of filth. Even a house isn't that hard to up keep with a full day of time. Being a stay at home anything isn't that bad especially without kids. Some people just are better suited for certain roles. I stay at home and take care of kids while my parents work, you just sorta do chores for a few hours then take it easy it's not an endless slaving endeavor

 

[wai_ma1]

I found this chapter really interesting, in a sense it's the force between an unmovable object and unstoppable force... Of course, the unstoppable force (Mahoro) wins. I feel like this chapter really shines a light on the incompatibilities between the two that were once subtle, barring the cheating. Even without cheating coming into play, this looks more like a marriage that was bound to fall apart because their dynamic is inherently on unequal, shaky, grounds. Mahoro learning that Rei could be cheating on her was just that push to get her to properly acknowledge it.

I'm not talking about the fact that Rei is the breadwinner and Mahoro takes care of domestic tasks for why it's unequal either, because you can have that dynamic with your wife or husband but still maintain a healthy relationship where both parties are equal in how they communicate and express wants and respect one another. That dynamic only becomes hostile and unequal when one looks at the other as a means to the end, ie. a living ATM and/or a slave respectively. It's all about respect.

While I'm not the biggest fan of Mahoro's sudden dishonesty to Rei here with the situation at hand, I see why she's doing it because she's in a position where she has to prepare herself to survive in the case that she does divorce Rei. And at the very least she isn't lying for a selfish non-issue, she's lying because she NEEDS to be able to have the money stored to support herself if she divorces Rei so she isn't left destitute with a super long gap in her work history that will make being able to gain employment all the more difficult...in Japan no less. However, and this needs to be said... MAHORO PLEASE, JUST FUCKING TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND DIRECTLY ABOUT YOUR NEEDS AND WANTS GODDAMN IT!!!

I do wish they would just have an honest conversation. I kind of get why, because I mean, if you suspect your partner of cheating and have some evidence as to why they could be there's a high chance your partner will say "No, what the fuck?" which can lead to a Schrodinger's Cat situation. I'm still banking on either

1. Rei is cheating.
2. Rei isn't cheating, it's Rei's mommy intentionally trying to break them up.
3. Rei isn't cheating, but Mahoro still leaves him for the other reasons we're seeing displayed.
4. The super secret ending where Rei isn't cheating but Rei realizes he needs to step the fuck up and do/change things outside of materialistic gifts if he wants to keep Mahoro to himself .

I would probably be overjoyed there's someone willing to support me for life while I do almost nothing all day every day.

This chapter is such a perfect example of female entitlement and lack of self-awareness. Especially the line "I cook for you, so why won't you let me have same social status as you?" lmao

Oof, I feel bad for your mother. Why is it an issue if you still want to be seen as an social equal to your partner even if you take the domestic role?

My man, there is NOTHING stopping you from grinding your hardest in sociability, homecare and in-home economics, working out, slimming down, and "looksmaxxing", before finding a well off man or woman to take care of you to reach that so-called "joy".

 

[BCS]

Why is it an issue if you still want to be seen as an social equal to your partner even if you take the domestic role?

Because he has a job that can support two people, and possibly a child too. She is essentially a part time maid. These two things are not socially equal.

In fact, if/when she DOES get a job, what kind of job it will realistically be? A grocery clerk working minimum wage? Even then they will still not be equal.

 

[superlucci]

last reply, do you think everything needs to be said out loud to figure out a decent picture of the situation? what reason could there possibly be for him to deny her getting a full time job under the pretext of "pregnant women shouldn't work" while NOT having sex with her?

you talk about how it would seem to you if you were Mahoro, but I very much doubt you can put yourself in her shoes seeing as you can't figure out why the above situation would be enough for most people to be done with that relationship

him being a clueless motherfucker(if he even is that) is not a free ticket to act this way

you also talk about gaslighting but up until the point she was done with the relationship the only one doing the gaslighting was him, "don't work, you don't need a job, I can provide for our family and kid", all the while not trying to get her pregnant, maybe he just doesn't know how babies are made I guess?

I already said she's not faultless and needed to communicate better, but the time for that is long, long gone, there's no more communication to be had here, I want you to really really try to think of a single reason that makes any sense for him to do what he's doing, because the only one I can find is that he doesn't want to be tied down to her while wanting to maintain the illusion that they're a happy family(for his mom, for himself, really doesn't matter)

I think when a spouse iis completely in the dark about their other half who they are married to and have lived together for awhile, that if they have a problem that they think is bottling them up and making them start to hate their partner, that the very least they could do is bring it up in a conversation, ESPECIALLY when the other half doesn't even know an issue exists. Is this unreasonable? I hope not.

Because he isn't ready to have a child yet? Why is the assumption that he hasn't produced a child now therefore mean he NEVER wants a child? ESPECIALLY when you think he is cheating, therefore you working full time would be in the self interest of the cheater to have more time to cheat?

You know why I can confidently say that i would do what I said in Mahoros shoes? Because there is no universe where I am going to be married to somebody and apparently never bring up an issue that is bugging me, which is leading me to even BEGIN to consider DIVORCE. Thats is too outrageous to even consider. How could date somebody for years, learn their ins and outs, then live together for years and be married, to then all of a sudden act like I cant bring up any issue I have with my spouse? Are you kidding me?

Him being clueless is EXACTLY why they need to communicate with each other! Thats literally the textbook example of why communication exists! To express ideas to somebody who doesn't know! Come on! She's been with him for years and she hasn't even CONSIDERED this? I would never leave my spouse in the dark to start secretly planning to divorce when all of this could be circumvented with a talk. He's already given in to Mahoro twice with the bodywash and the full time job. Why does she think communicating her frustration is somehow off the table? It clearly and demonstratibly is not.

We dont KNOW why Rei hasn't been having sex with her. Thats the whole point! Thats the contention! That's the thing Mahoro should bring up to have him try to talk about it to see what he says! Instead she would just prefer to go on in the dark without ever trying to learn why and assume the worst! Just talk girl talk! You clearly can do it!

The time for communication did not pass. Why? Because it never even started to begin with! Mahoro never tried to seriously talk to him about her issues, due to random delays which would make her give up for some absurd reason.

You cannot fault your partner for doing things you apparently dislike when you never bring it to their attention to begin with. ESPECIALLY when you were completely fine with it for years, so no reason to think it would've magically changed all of a sudden. That's why Mahoro and everybody else in the real world needs to communicate to their partner about any sort of issues they have. Thats how we minimize complications in relationships.

 

[tototototoo]

Dog what are you talking about. It's an apartment not an endless sprawling maze of filth. Even a house isn't that hard to up keep with a full day of time. Being a stay at home anything isn't that bad especially without kids. Some people just are better suited for certain roles. I stay at home and take care of kids while my parents work, you just sorta do chores for a few hours then take it easy it's not an endless slaving endeavor

You realize he has an office job and sits behind a computer most of the day right? It’s not like he works on an oil rig or something (like that’s a genuinely back breaking job) and taking care of a home is a lot especially because she works too. And we know the dude can’t even be bothered to buy the right shower stuff when pushed to do it instead of just leaving an empty bottle.

 

[story645]

And hm, i wonder how much one year of working would save but hopefully even tho she's not working as much when married hopefully she'd be able to get a raise or so

Presumably she also wants to start building her resume before she desperately needs the job - being out of the full-time workforce makes it hard to get back in.

Clearly he has a thing about dominance over the woman and yet he is completely subservient to his mother.

Yeah I think those things are 100% related.

She is essentially a part time maid.

Yeah so spouses are partners not employees.

taking care of a home is a lot especially because she works too

Especially given how demanding her mother-in-law is. This is the type of woman who absolutely inspects the furniture for dust.

 

[Mute2732]

You realize he has an office job and sits behind a computer most of the day right? It’s not like he works on an oil rig or something (like that’s a genuinely back breaking job) and taking care of a home is a lot especially because she works too. And we know the dude can’t even be bothered to buy the right shower stuff when pushed to do it instead of just leaving an empty bottle.

You are reading one of the most, if not the most, biased stories ever written. Nothing about our MC has confirmed she is a reliable narrator. She is being actively lied to and manipulated by everyone around her. The amount he works does not matter work is work. If she worked and he didn't (or worked part time), it'd be no different he would be expected to take care of the house. Let's break down what taking care of the house entails too. Every day you clean up dirty dishes and cook 1-2 meals. Once a week you do a load of laundry or two, replace the bedspread, and go grocery shopping, once a month you dust and deep clean. Really brutal stuff

 

[wai_ma1]

Because he has a job that can support two people, and possibly a child too. She is essentially a part time maid. These two things are not socially equal.

In fact, if/when she DOES get a job, what kind of job it will realistically be? A grocery clerk working minimum wage? Even then they will still not be equal.

Now I feel really bad for your mother.

Her being a part-time maid, implies that she has time off from domestic duties such as cooking, cleaning, laundry, home-finances, grocery shopping, etc. + child/infant care if she had a child anything that is needed to manage, run, and execute basic home life. I don't know if you know this, but if you're are in that domestic role, there is no time off and it is a constant, continuous responsibility 24/7, 365 days continuously. Sure, I'm not going to pretend that's harder than back-breaking labor but her husband works in a office and the responsibilities of the office stay in the office once he leaves. You can't really quit being a homemaker like you can't quit being the breadwinner. Both running a home and office work are, in a way, equal levels of strain which only furthers the point that the work both sides put in to run a home and keep it afloat are and should be on equal footing.

The dynamic between the partner who works to support and the partner who takes on domestic duties are seen as unequal only if you are bone-shatteringly autistic to Sheldon Cooper levels that you cannot look at something without comparing numerical quantitative values and can't acknowledge or appreciate the work that goes into running a home and inherently look down upon your other. While domestic duties are not something that puts money on the table, they are still something that demands social equality within a marriage because it's something that continuously provides to the home day-to-day life that keeps it running smoothly that the other doesn't take care of. In a marriage, regardless of either role, both require the other's respect and equal footing to be healthy.

TLDR; When you get married and you have the dynamic of domestic homemaker and breadwinner, you have an equal footing because you're both filling in a role to run a home smoothly and keep it afloat whether financially or domestically. In a marriage, social status equality isn't a matter of "I do more of [insert numerical value], so I'm better than you, wench." it's a matter of "We both do our part, and I respect the part you play."

 

[GreatGreedyGuts]

You are reading one of the most, if not the most, biased stories ever written. Nothing about our MC has confirmed she is a reliable narrator. She is being actively lied to and manipulated by everyone around her. The amount he works does not matter work is work. If she worked and he didn't (or worked part time), it'd be no different he would be expected to take care of the house. Let's break down what taking care of the house entails too. Every day you clean up dirty dishes and cook 1-2 meals. Once a week you do a load of laundry or two, replace the bedspread, and go grocery shopping, once a month you dust and deep clean. Really brutal stuff

Nothing about the story so far indicates she's an unreliable narrator, either, except for the bits where she was trying to convince herself that Rei was totally fine and good and not neglecting her for years, which were pretty blatant.

Especially because you're ignoring that she's ALSO working a job, "dusting" is more than once a month, and he deliberately doesn't do any chores himself meaning that she probably has to do the ones you didn't mention, too. (Sweeping and vacuuming is more regular than a deep clean, sorting the trash for recycling and burnables, picking up his messes, and so on.) Meanwhile he does literally nothing around the house without prompting.

Like, it doesn't matter if he works 10 hour days with two hours of commuting, if he can't pick his own hair out of the drain or even let her know that they're out of body wash he's not pulling his weight. That's just basic living in a relationship.

And that's leaving aside him using their future kid to keep her from doing what she wants while making no effort whatsoever to actually have the kid. Remember, at the start of this she was willing to have his kid if he'd just, y'know, do the requisite sex. He clearly doesn't want a kid any time soon, but keeps using it as a reason why she needs to wait on him hand and foot rather than the two of them balancing things the way she's been wanting to do for a while.


To anyone saying it'd be nice if they just had an open conversation: remember that, going by the notes on Japanese divorce provided to us, if she brings up a bunch of stuff and sets him off, she's in trouble. Ideally, she could talk to him about it... but from what the story shows this isn't all stuff she's never brought up, some of it is stuff she stopped talking about because he'd shut her down and act like she was being unreasonable.

 

[tototototoo]

You are reading one of the most, if not the most, biased stories ever written. Nothing about our MC has confirmed she is a reliable narrator. She is being actively lied to and manipulated by everyone around her. The amount he works does not matter work is work. If she worked and he didn't (or worked part time), it'd be no different he would be expected to take care of the house. Let's break down what taking care of the house entails too. Every day you clean up dirty dishes and cook 1-2 meals. Once a week you do a load of laundry or two, replace the bedspread, and go grocery shopping, once a month you dust and deep clean. Really brutal stuff

Wow I’m starting to belief you don’t actually take care of a home lol. There’s a lot you are leaving out there unless you just only order food and it’s a mess all the time. But besides that, we know she has a parttime job. She said so herself and the whole unreliable narrator part just sounds like you don’t want her to be right.

 

[tototototoo]

Nothing about the story so far indicates she's an unreliable narrator, either, except for the bits where she was trying to convince herself that Rei was totally fine and good and not neglecting her for years, which were pretty blatant.

Especially because you're ignoring that she's ALSO working a job, "dusting" is more than once a month, and he deliberately doesn't do any chores himself meaning that she probably has to do the ones you didn't mention, too. (Sweeping and vacuuming is more regular than a deep clean, sorting the trash for recycling and burnables, picking up his messes, and so on.) Meanwhile he does literally nothing around the house without prompting.

Like, it doesn't matter if he works 10 hour days with two hours of commuting, if he can't pick his own hair out of the drain or even let her know that they're out of body wash he's not pulling his weight. That's just basic living in a relationship.

And that's leaving aside him using their future kid to keep her from doing what she wants while making no effort whatsoever to actually have the kid. Remember, at the start of this she was willing to have his kid if he'd just, y'know, do the requisite sex. He clearly doesn't want a kid any time soon, but keeps using it as a reason why she needs to wait on him hand and foot rather than the two of them balancing things the way she's been wanting to do for a while.


To anyone saying it'd be nice if they just had an open conversation: remember that, going by the notes on Japanese divorce provided to us, if she brings up a bunch of stuff and sets him off, she's in trouble. Ideally, she could talk to him about it... but from what the story shows this isn't all stuff she's never brought up, some of it is stuff she stopped talking about because he'd shut her down and act like she was being unreasonable.

Nothing but facts here. Also recycling and trash disposal in Japan is a headache in and of itself.

And yeah, I certainly don’t expect that he takes care of the household 50/50 while he works like, let’s say 60 hours and she 40, but dude doesn’t even do the most basic of things and when asked to do something as minor as buying new bodywash when they are out instead of just leaving the empty bottle there, he pulls the whole weaponized incompetence move.

He’s just not a good partner, regardless whether he’s a cheater or not.

 

[Nosebleed]

A lot of people seem to be disregarding that what we've been presented by Mahoro regarding Rei are signs of patterns, not just one off events that she could just talk away.


The author isn't going to sit here and spoon feed you every single thing Rei does wrong because a) that's a boring ass story and this is already 50 chapters long, and b) any person that can put 2 and 2 together can easily infer from the info given that Rei is pathologically, if not maliciously neglectful (ignoring the cheating).

I mean Mahoro literally said right after they got married he just stopped caring to have sex with her, indicating this has been persistent throughout the marriage, yet somehow we still have people here pretending she's making this decision based on little things he's done recently. Hello???

You're also casually ignoring the moments Mahoro does try to speak up and gets immediately shut down or ignored by Rei. Have you considered that after a year or two of being treated like this (which we have no reason to suspect she hasn't because, again, these are patrerns not one off events), some people just resign and conform because they don't feel the energy or motivation to rock the boat? This is textbook controlling behavior. By mentally wearing down the other party, making them financially dependent, etc., you basically lock away their choices even if this process is subconscious to them.

Whats happened now is that Mahoro finally got a clear lens to analyze her marriage with and has decided enough is enough, she's not gonna put up with this behavior anymore because it's clear Rei is unwilling to invest anything into the marriage and only wants to control her. It's the culmination of a build up, not a decision she made on a whim.

I genuinely hope the people who are still here defending Rei manage to have conversations with real women and how this type of behavior is super common, and why the author presenting the story as is is enough for any reader familiar with these situations to fill in the gaps.

 

[Digidestined701]

Plot twist: Husband is gay and having an affair with the friend's brother

 

[silverpetricof]

I know I keep saying it, but I love the author's comments sometimes. There's something...sweet about her cheering on the very characters she created.

Thank you for the translation.

 

[EchoGirl]

Why the fark is she even asking for his permission?!

She doesn't 'need' permission but i imagine it'd cause issues if they have a divorce hearing or just letting him know so he doesn't complain about her 'slacking' (i bet he could just go out to eat with his affair partner anyways unless they literally only meet at hotels [but wouldn't be surprised if love hotels have room service too, did see some that were like 'female friends' service, not necessarily gl/yuri but just as a 'girls night' thing with champagne])

 

[Friendly-Sentence710]

Unpopular comment but not really sure im on board with how Mahoro apparently having no problem lying straight to people's faces, all while being hypocritical at the exact same time, when all she has are hunches and guesses.

Now I completely agree with the majority of what you're saying here, but firstly let's remember this Josei. He be cheating, every man who might be evil is definitely evil (unless he's the main love interest then its all just him being a misunderstood badboy).
So lets get that out of the way: She's doing questionable behavior, her reasoning is VERY shakey, but she is going to be borne out to 100% correct because its manga for older women.

Now that said:
Mahoro isn't completely out of pocket here. Even if Rei wasn't cheating with her best friend, he is a shitty partner (a comically one-dimensionally shitty one, but again: Josei) and Mahoro is done with the relationship. That's perfectly in her right if she just decides things are done. She's not been cheating, she hasn't tried to line up her next relationship, she hasn't let herself be seduced to some idealized life. She's just done being his fuckmaid-but-without-the-fucking and that's completely her perogative.
(I agree with you that Rei hasn't shown himself to be anything other than inconsiderate and controlled by his mother, these are fixable issues, but Rei isn't showing any signs of self improvement and its not Mahoro's job to fix him. But also keep in mind: he's definitely cheating on her, that's how this will turn out.)

I think what makes her actions "OK" is that she's not harming Rei, she's helping herself. She is looking at newly single life and realizing she'll both need money saved and will need to have her career path elevated from just "entry level grunt work". She is very clearly intending to save her own money, not take Rei's or the house hold's savings to do this. So she's being deceptive about her reasons but its not like Rei isn't also being deceptive about cheating.
The only thing Rei is really losing on is Mahoro's bomb-ass curry (and that's questionable, she'll probably be expected to make dinner most nights still) and he could learn to cook himself.

The other thing to consider is "what if she's wrong"? If this wasn't just female wish fulfillment manga, Rei is completely innocent of all NTR charges, and Mahoro has a change of heart about not saving their marriage:
Very little harm has been done. She worked more for a couple years, Rei didn't have some curry, they have some more money. It would be very easy to walk back her decision.

Also, Rei says he will cover the extra costs right? Don't you think if a husband was cheating with you. That he would WANT you to be full time? Since then you're even more busy then before and then he would have more available time to cheating?

Did want to address this part more fully:
Plenty of cheating partners have no intention of leaving their "primary" or otherwise upending their normal life. Rei is very likely intending to have his curry and eat it too: have a well-kept home with dinner waiting, and bone Rio on the side until they tire of thrill. He just doesn't want to lose his housekeeper.
The other side is if Rei IS caught, if he makes all the money he has all the power. He could just admit the affair at this point and Mahoro wouldn't have much choice other than to accept it. That's likely working into his mental calculus as well.

There's also a japanese cultural thing about "being superior" to people/looking down on them but I'm going to get into that.

I think there have been jdrama/manga where the husband is getting the 'allowance' despite being an office worker since the wife balances the checkbooks at home or so for groceries/errands(?),

This is actually pretty common for a lot of couples I know. Both pay into a joint account and both get "allowances" to do with whatever they want without the other person saying boo. If there is a "couple cost" (trips, car, saving for home/home improvements) they both pay into a fund for that.

One couple I know with income disparity, they split household expenses like rent and groceries on a ratio of income; e.g. he made twice what she did, so he paid 2/3 rent she paid 1/3.

well she just mentioned eggs but not buying any 'baby' stuff but i imagine
she can't just ask for like a huge amount each month without it being suspicious (and if they do go to some divorce court he could prolly countersue to 'get it back' versus her owning her own pay)

This right here. Mahoro knows if she touches "couple money" before the divorce, it'll erode her case and reduce Rei's "fault". By making/using her own money and presenting evidence of infidelity, she will be the 100% aggrieved party.

She doesn't 'need' permission but i imagine it'd cause issues if they have a divorce hearing or just letting him know so he doesn't complain about her 'slacking' (i bet he could just go out to eat with his affair partner anyways unless they literally only meet at hotels [but wouldn't be surprised if love hotels have room service too, did see some that were like 'female friends' service, not necessarily gl/yuri but just as a 'girls night' thing with champagne])

Its sort of fucked up, but it is not completley out of pocket for spouses to call the other person's place of work and berate their boss. I wouldn't put Rei Rei's mother above calling Mahoro's place of work and making her boss cut her back to part time to make the crazy woman go away.

and Short-stay hotels above fleabag levels most DEFINITELY have room service and its usually very good.

How rich is he to shoulder those costs? I can only guess that his earnings are way more than the household necessities + rent/mortgage + the planned child + his expenses + her expenses and he still reluctant for her to work?

He is likely making a good bit even a junior salraiman. enough to absorb some extra food costs no issues to be sure. Prices are ... different... in Japan. Most day to day purchases are cheap, but things like clothes, cars, and houses are crazy expensive. OTOH there is no culture of massive rent increases, so generally when you rent an apartment that's what you'll pay until you move out.

My question would be more to the tune of "why is he needing to cover the costs"? Like no joint account?

Why the fark is she even asking for his permission?!

Because that's how its done in Japan. Remember, consensus-based culture. Couples are supposed to consult on these matters. If he wanted to quit his job, that would need her permissions. This is also why "no no-fault divorce"; you are not to make individual decisions.

The reason she cares about going through the motions is going from part-time to full-time work is not going to be something she can keep a secret. Rather than a blow up where she might reveal her hand or make Rei suspicious, she's playing the long game.

the cheating at this point is completely irrelevant my dude, he's been talking about having a baby since chapter 1 while not having sex with her, he is completely uncaring and oblivious as to how this might appear to her, the most likely scenario is that he's been wanting out of the relationship for a while and he doesn't wanna get tied down to her

Yup. Lets not forget what started her down this road of discovery was the fact Rei wasn't fucking her. (and also while the cheating part is irrelevant, remember it is going to come out he's cheating. Josei gonna Josei.)

Also, of course Rei doesn't want to be tied down. He can't elope with Haruto if he's got a kid. /s

 

[orangerain7734]

It's kind of funny he'd even bring up the pregnancy argument when he wouldn't even sleep with her to make that happen. Sure, he tried one time before she turned him down on assumption of him cheating on her, but that was just from what we've seen so far in this series. We've yet to know how often they really do it.