Shin'yuu no Furin Aite wa, Otto deshita - Vol. 5 Ch. 44.5 - Extra: The Other Side of the Door

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What's wrong with second hand? God forbid a man try to save a little money... Looks like I'm on team Rei this chapter
My guess is a used ring might have some bad karma associated with it. Maybe the previous wearer died or sold it because their relationship ended badly. If you were particularly sensitive about things like that (and Japanese people usually are) it might not make such a good anniversary present.
 
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What's wrong with second hand? God forbid a man try to save a little money... Looks like I'm on team Rei this chapter
I believe the culture is shifting rapidly but there is a belief in Japan that secondhand objects may contain the bad juju or be possessed by sprits.

It’s also the first Christmas, i don’t think it’s unreasonable to hope he buys something new for his wife.
 
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It not like I think Haruto is a bad character its just... he sticks out like a a healthy thumb and a hand with the rest of it's fingers broken. He's odd, other than hitting on a woman trying to get out of a bad situation but that's always framed as something nice and he never take it too far. He's not even written poorly he just feels kinda out of place; a reason to not give up on romance like Momoka is the reason to not give up on friendship.
 
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To anyone wondering about the second hand thing, there are multiple Japanese (and Asian in general) superstitions about second hand items/gifts carrying bad luck or even curses.

New gifts in Japan tend to symbolize fresh starts and pure intentions. Used items are more seen as passing along their old luck (think of passing down a heirloom), which can come across wrong when given as gifts, like in this context.

For a ring specifically, a used one can imply it came from a previous relationship that ended, so you're bringing that bad luck into your relationship, which leaves a very bad impression on your significant other.

But in general, it's not a good look to gift a Japanese person a second hand item for an auspicious occasion, and especially not your significant other on an important date like a birthday. You ideally give them something new, or something handmade if you were not able to afford something new. Second hand is your last resort and you would usually be upfront about it and also apologize for it.

I understand this is not the case in a lot of the Western world but it's important to understand not every place is the same, and here Rei did indeed commit faux pas for the society he lives in.
 
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To anyone wondering about the second hand thing, there are multiple Japanese (and Asian in general) superstitions about second hand items/gifts carrying bad luck or even curses.

New gifts in Japan tend to symbolize fresh starts and pure intentions. Used items are more seen as passing along their old luck (think of passing down a heirloom), which can come across wrong when given as gifts, like in this context.

For a ring specifically, a used one can imply it came from a previous relationship that ended, so you're bringing that bad luck into your relationship, which leaves a very bad impression on your significant other.

But in general, it's not a good look to gift a Japanese person a second hand item for an auspicious occasion, and especially not your significant other on an important date like a birthday. You ideally give them something new, or something handmade if you were not able to afford something new. Second hand is your last resort and you would usually be upfront about it and also apologize for it.

I understand this is not the case in a lot of the Western world but it's important to understand not every place is the same, and here Rei did indeed commit faux pas for the society he lives in.
I had a feeling it was going to be something like this. Thank you for adding this context. Yeah it makes a LOT of sense she’s unhappy with the gift now due to the symbolism. I’m a thrifter but I definitely wouldn’t give someone something second hand if they believe in this.
 
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I had a feeling it was going to be something like this. Thank you for adding this context. Yeah it makes a LOT of sense she’s unhappy with the gift now due to the symbolism. I’m a thrifter but I definitely wouldn’t give someone something second hand if they believe in this.
For the record, it's not that you can't buy something second hand in Japan, even for someone else. Obviously second hand stores exist there and are even quite prolific.
It's just that, as a gift for a special occasion specifically, second-hand items tend to be avoided because of the negative symbolism they carry.

But there are reasonable exceptions like a situation where you know that's the item the person really wants but you could only find it second hand. But even then you would absolutely be upfront about it being second hand and usually apologize for not being able to find it new, just to soften the blow and show your intentions were first and foremost to get something you know the person really wanted.

Ultimately it's all about the heart you put into it and how well you know the person. Showing care would normally fix any issue, but Rei here clearly only got something second-hand to save money.
 
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Haruoto once again gets away with it.
Who do you think sold Rei the ring? Who made sure the 2nd hand store's sales receipt was in there?
that's right. A 12 year old Haruto, sitting on his friend's shoulders in a kimono and wearing a bald cap and fake mustache.
Don't look at the moon! Don't be suckered by him saying its beautiful tonight! Don't go through the door! Run Mahoro!

What's wrong with second hand? God forbid a man try to save a little money... Looks like I'm on team Rei this chapter
To put it shortly, the real issue - other than cultural norms - isn't that Rei gave her a 2nd hand gift, its that he tried to pass it off as new. I think he went as far as to get one of the designer stores' bags.

But in general, there are 3 times second hand jewelry is a good idea
1) Ya'll broke. No shade on needing to save some scratch but accept it. Course I'd question why you're going for jewelry if you're broke but...
2) Sentimental value. Something from a realative, heirloom, etc.
3) You know what you are doing. A necklace to go with a dress/outfit. A brooch in a style they don't make anymore. Getting an old ring with some history on the style/brand. If you are proper antiquer, or getting something unique/specific, that's fine (unless they are an awful, shallow person)

I guess also 4) You and the person getting the gift have discussed it and they know you are giving them something that isn't new.

I'm all about bucking societal expectations of conspicuous consumerism, but I guess that's what jewelry is all about at the root of it so bucking the trend doesn't go over so hot.

Rei did none of these things. He had money, it wasn't a heirloom, and he didn't know what he was doing - he saw a chance to get the "benefits" of giving a designer gift without paying the cost.
When you give your partnet flowers, or some chocolate, or really ANY gift, its not about the gift. Its about the effort and thought put into the gift. And Rei's thoughts started and ended at "I want her to be wowed but I don't want to put that much effort into it."

Or to give an example from an alternate universe where Rei is a decent person:
"Oh I thought I removed that. Its second hand, but I made sure they had polished and cleaned it. I thought this would go really well with your eyes/favorite dress and couldn't pass it up".

It’s also the first Christmas, i don’t think it’s unreasonable to hope he buys something new for his wife.
If he didn't want to eat the cost of a new ring from Mahoro's brand, the better options would be something cheaper from that brand or a ring from somewhere else.

Gold is a very soft metal and gets damaged/scratched easily.
 
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Haruoto once again gets away with it.
Who do you think sold Rei the ring? Who made sure the 2nd hand store's sales receipt was in there?
that's right. A 12 year old Haruto, sitting on his friend's shoulders in a kimono and wearing a bald cap and fake mustache.
Don't look at the moon! Don't be suckered by him saying its beautiful tonight! Don't go through the door! Run Mahoro!


To put it shortly, the real issue - other than cultural norms - isn't that Rei gave her a 2nd hand gift, its that he tried to pass it off as new. I think he went as far as to get one of the designer stores' bags.

But in general, there are 3 times second hand jewelry is a good idea
1) Ya'll broke. No shade on needing to save some scratch but accept it. Course I'd question why you're going for jewelry if you're broke but...
2) Sentimental value. Something from a realative, heirloom, etc.
3) You know what you are doing. A necklace to go with a dress/outfit. A brooch in a style they don't make anymore. Getting an old ring with some history on the style/brand. If you are proper antiquer, or getting something unique/specific, that's fine (unless they are an awful, shallow person)

I guess also 4) You and the person getting the gift have discussed it and they know you are giving them something that isn't new.

I'm all about bucking societal expectations of conspicuous consumerism, but I guess that's what jewelry is all about at the root of it so bucking the trend doesn't go over so hot.

Rei did none of these things. He had money, it wasn't a heirloom, and he didn't know what he was doing - he saw a chance to get the "benefits" of giving a designer gift without paying the cost.
When you give your partnet flowers, or some chocolate, or really ANY gift, its not about the gift. Its about the effort and thought put into the gift. And Rei's thoughts started and ended at "I want her to be wowed but I don't want to put that much effort into it."

Or to give an example from an alternate universe where Rei is a decent person:
"Oh I thought I removed that. Its second hand, but I made sure they had polished and cleaned it. I thought this would go really well with your eyes/favorite dress and couldn't pass it up".


If he didn't want to eat the cost of a new ring from Mahoro's brand, the better options would be something cheaper from that brand or a ring from somewhere else.

Gold is a very soft metal and gets damaged/scratched easily.
I get that it's tacky to give second hand gifts for an anniversary, and apparently bad karma lol. But the way this is framed where she first loves the ring and thinks its great but then hates it to the point where she considers this the beginning of her marriage failing and the end of her happiness just because it's second hand really comes off as very shallow and entitled. The only reason this works even a tiny bit is because Rei should have money for something better, but it's still a really bad look for Mahoro.
 
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i mean shitty but if it was just as cute i don't care if it's secondhand/cheaper than over the top pricey gifts

"The moon is beautiful isn't it?" so basically an indirect confession XD; if haruto's age/generation knows souseki unless it's basically required reading for JP teens in high school
 
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At first read I thought this chapter painted Mahoro as being shallow and materialistic, but now that I have the cultural context to understand that she probably just thought the ring was packed full of ghosts like a New York City firehouse, I realize that it's actually painting her as being shallow and superstitious.
 

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