Teisou Gyakuten Sekai no Doutei Henkyou Ryoushu Kishi - Ch. 9.2 - The Great Hero (2)

[zakubot]

I know it's the entire premise of the manga and as such does not need to be entirely logical but how is this world run by women? Say you had maybe ten war beast men like Polidoro you could practically take over an entire country incredibly quickly.. I assume in a relatively short number of decades something like that will inevitably happen, perhaps the current time period is just an aberation?

Polidoro himself is an aberration, most of the men in this world are shotas and/or twinks.

 

[LordofLeechers]

Polidoro himself is an aberration, most of the men in this world are shotas and/or twinks.

In my mind, it helps to picture how it would be in a more standard world. The guy is basically the setting equivalent of a seven foot tall amazonian muscle girl.

 

[hispirus]

My horse was just killed by a freak spear throw from beyond visual range. The logical course of action is naturally to take off my protective headgear and stand around while hyping myself up with some shonen monologue.

 

[leandro1amaral]

Gosh, this is grim.

 

[subliminal]

Polidoro himself is an aberration, most of the men in this world are shotas and/or twinks.

If he didn't have his libido under iron fisted control half the next generation would call him dad, the long term genetic effect of this on the population would be revolutionary in changing the male phenotype.

 

[TNT261]

So far, the WN has done a good job of making pretty much everything relevant or foundational for other aspects of the story. This is just chapter 9 of the manga. The translated WN is up to chapter 140 so readers aren't going to immediately understand the point of an arc.

"readers aren't going to immediately understand the point of an arc", I mean that's kinda the problem. I understand it's just chapter nine, but I don't really see that as an excuse. It's still bad writing in the sense that well, why am I reading it now? It's all well and good that something be foundational and play a role later in the story, but these moments should still feel organic and worth reading in the moment.

As a writer on of the most important things to balance is the reader's time. Arguably the most important. And my heart goes out to writers because that's damn hard. Any good writing should be pulling double or triple duty and everything should feel worth reading to readers when they read it. This is a big reason why people commonly hate exposition because it's actually pretty hard to get right. You have to make good use of the readers time and deliver in such a way that it's still interesting to read and does several things at once (like even how the exposition is delivered matters). It can't JUST be an info dump of information that won't matter for a while, but you also can't just give information as it pops up. Admittedly it's hard, and likewise It just wasn't done well here.

I mean there's a non-zero amount of comments genuinely asking "wtf is going on?" and another group just straight up wondering why they're reading it. Additional information from future plot points shouldn't be neccesary for this chapter not to feel like a drag and waste of time now. It should be the case that this current chapter and arc has A clear point now in addition to just being an interesting read readers want to get invested in, and then the foundational information given should ALSO play a role in later writing. There's also a lot of ways to improve upon this in this chapter alone (though hindsight is 20/20). For one the pacing is way off. Like the ending pages organization and flow is just off. In what feels like seconds to the reader (not much is done to slow things done or feel like actions have weight), Caroline goes through like 3 different sentiments (from just wanting to surrender and spare her allies to agreeing with them and just running away to making a final stand... but after her allies have died). This chapter would have easily succeeded and won over readers if it gave us a second to care about those events. There was also a comment about not "needing" to give the MC character development, but that'd have also been great. Make this arc clearly focus on the MC's development or growth so readers care about it now from that angle and then later down the line show it from another perspective so that the arc can still be foundational but doesn't feel like a waste of time now.

I don't know if it's more well written in the WN and it does a better avoiding this issue, but readers should never feel like they've wasted their time with something that feels pointless because the author was more focused on setup for the future than making it feel like it matters now.

 

[koga88]

Damn it looked like he blew that one girl's head off with the javelin alone. Then he just slaughters her horse while not even within view of her.

That being said, as others have mentioned, they are really drawing this out. I get that this is partially due to its shitty release schedule/pages per chapter but the have spent a long time with chasing down this fugitive and I don't think even a single? one of his princess' soldiers have actually fought unless they did a small skirmish off-screen while he chased after the main target.

Plus I really don't think they are going to end up sparing her at this rate. Either the girl's going to end up being slain right here at the border, caught and brought back to the capital to be executed, or probably turned into a slave somehow for the MC as a reward for single-handedly winning the fight.

 

[residentFATBOY]

Where the tits at? Very quickly losing interest.

 

[Willie29]

hopefully they take her in alive

 

[Willie29]

Damn it looked like he blew that one girl's head off with the javelin alone. Then he just slaughters her horse while not even within view of her.

That being said, as others have mentioned, they are really drawing this out. I get that this is partially due to its shitty release schedule/pages per chapter but the have spent a long time with chasing down this fugitive and I don't think even a single? one of his princess' soldiers have actually fought unless they did a small skirmish off-screen while he chased after the main target.

Plus I really don't think they are going to end up sparing her at this rate. Either the girl's going to end up being slain right here at the border, caught and brought back to the capital to be executed, or probably turned into a slave somehow for the MC as a reward for single-handedly winning the fight.

honestly that last one is the best option for her

 

[InsaneAwesomeTony]

Poor horsey 😭

Thanks for the chapter 🙏🏼❤️

 

[Tamult]

Honestly, the release pacing is the biggest issue here, the translation to the manga format is rough as well at times, which leads to people forgetting plot/not understanding stuff. I'll not bore you with repeating summaries here, but I think this arc serves a great purpose in setting up the world/politics of not only the home country, but some important characters/circumstances.

And for everyone saying that Princess Valiere isn't seeking glory, you are right. But she's had her hand forced by circumstances, seriously chapter 6 mostly lays it out. She wants to do right by her guard, and she's worried about their honor and status. It'll definitely be given more time later, if I recall the web novel correctly, but the seeds are before this chapter.

The important bit in story about this arc is that the entire plot is, and this is spoilers for the next bit of this arc, that everyone involved thinks how pointless and tragic the revolt/coup attempt is. Not only did it spill outside the domain of the family, it was a massive blunder on the part of both sisters. If the elder sister actually managed to talk to Caroline, she'd have understood that the plan was to make Caroline's daughter her heir. So Caroline's worst fears would never have come to pass. If Caroline had at least effectively done her Coup, the Royal Family would not have had to take action. By failing, then pillaging Royal lands, and then attempting 'Exile' to go to Willendorf/Villendorf; she basically assured herself destruction once Lord Polidoro accepted the battle.

Essentially the entire thing is a tragedy on multiple levels, and shows how meaningless this is while starting to give more context on events to come. When in story it is considered so. . .


Basically the arc is setup time for character motivations going forward for some, future plot points, and the politics of the land.

 

[talisay999]

this needs some backstory otherwise who fcking cares who caroline is

 

[xaraphina]

Horse: "What? I have to die for this bitch too??????"

 

[BestBoy]

"readers aren't going to immediately understand the point of an arc", I mean that's kinda the problem. I understand it's just chapter nine, but I don't really see that as an excuse. It's still bad writing in the sense that well, why am I reading it now? It's all well and good that something be foundational and play a role later in the story, but these moments should still feel organic and worth reading in the moment.

The only reason they don't feel organic, imo, is the snail pace release schedule. The story isn't translating well because we're getting it too slowly.

I mean there's a non-zero amount of comments genuinely asking "wtf is going on?" and another group just straight up wondering why they're reading it. Additional information from future plot points shouldn't be neccesary for this chapter not to feel like a drag and waste of time now. It should be the case that this current chapter and arc has A clear point now in addition to just being an interesting read readers want to get invested in, and then the foundational information given should ALSO play a role in later writing.

The arc isn't only important for the long term story points. I think most readers have forgotten that if Valiere fails, she loses Faust as her advisor. That is the immediate reason why readers should be interested.

There's also a lot of ways to improve upon this in this chapter alone (though hindsight is 20/20). For one the pacing is way off. Like the ending pages organization and flow is just off. In what feels like seconds to the reader (not much is done to slow things done or feel like actions have weight), Caroline goes through like 3 different sentiments (from just wanting to surrender and spare her allies to agreeing with them and just running away to making a final stand... but after her allies have died).

Caroline seems to be being used for comedic purposes (crying through her helmet visor in every scene). I dislike the way they characterized her in the manga, but I can suspend my disbelief that they're trying to use her to show an aspect of how a noble should act (in contrast to Sabine or Valiere).

This chapter would have easily succeeded and won over readers if it gave us a second to care about those events. There was also a comment about not "needing" to give the MC character development, but that'd have also been great. Make this arc clearly focus on the MC's development or growth so readers care about it now from that angle and then later down the line show it from another perspective so that the arc can still be foundational but doesn't feel like a waste of time now.

The previous chapters have established that Valiere will likely get the most character development. This is her first battle, meanwhile Faust has already been through a war. I think it's pretty obvious which character will be most affected.

I don't know if it's more well written in the WN and it does a better avoiding this issue, but readers should never feel like they've wasted their time with something that feels pointless because the author was more focused on setup for the future than making it feel like it matters now.

I think this falls back on the painfully slow release schedule, and the readers' misaligned expectations for what kind of story this is. Lots of comments seem to be more interested in the horny parts of the story when in reality this story leans heavily into Medieval Politics. Even the horny butt grabbing plays into the politics.

 

[BestBoy]

If he didn't have his libido under iron fisted control half the next generation would call him dad, the long term genetic effect of this on the population would be revolutionary in changing the male phenotype.

I don't think that's how it works in this world. The WN hasn't gone into this much either, but I don't think Faust's parents are enormous like he is. I think it works like a blessing from the gods or something. Some folks are just born as superhumans.

There's also the fact that 90% of all humans are born as women. So even if he had 100 kids almost all of them would be girls and the few boys he had wouldn't necessarily be just like him. Not to mention any kids they have would likely be girls too.

But having that many kids with that many women would put his ancestral lands in peril so he probably wouldn't do it.

 

[samazam]

I fucking love that the guy just casually carries around a quiver of heavy javelin as a sidearm. Makes for an effective ranged combatant without messing with his "brutishly strong heavy knight" schtick.

 

[Lame_Security]

I'm certain that if we get a chapter or even few pages of Caroline's Pov during their coup, none of you would symphatize with her.

 

[VooXoo]

This arc really pisses me off because we know she was forced to escape after the sister she decided to not kill to remove problems in her territory...became a problem and betrayed, the sister is the actual villain for her actions that started this whole mess, and MC is forced to kill her for her actions when escaping that destroyed a innocent village.
From her dialogue we know that she isn't truly evil, and the village destruction was pretty much forced by the author and doesn't fit her character and her soldiers at all.
Only way I can see this going is she crosses the bridge and MC for the country law can't and she escapes becoming a enemy in the future or MC just launches a spear and kills her anyway without violating the border.

 

[sassinos]

Especially early on (first 30-40 chapters?) when the Translator was defaulting to he/him pronouns for characters despite 99% of all characters being women. That was a pretty rookie translation mistake.

I'm guessing they were using MTL and that's why the pronouns are so messed up. Even after all the complaints, it looks like they never fixed some of it. After reading everything they had for free, I just started using MTL on chapters I haven't read.