I just
I do not understand.
Somebody gives you the emotional equivalent of a physical beating every single day for decades, and then tries to have you killed... and you experience bowel disrupting, body shaking, painful conelcern and fear over their well being and blame yourself for their violence and aggressive behavior?!
Sister, I have had abusive trauma in my real life, and while those people are still alive, I wouldn't piss on them if they were burning to death in front of me.
I sure as all fuck wouldn't give a damn if they were about to get maimed or killed in a fight they instigated... other than to giggle, maybe.
I do NOT get where this girls head is.